“If I have a child with a non-Native, our kids will have Native status. If our kids have children with non-Natives, my grandchildren will not have Native status. It may not be such a big deal but due to this very law, it is projected that there will no longer be any Native children born by 2180. “

Imagine how THRILLED I was to wake up Friday afternoon to “tune in” and see that not only have they proclaimed that overalls are BACK, but they had TWO WHOLE ARTICLES on them! Exhibit A/Exhibit B

Overalls are probably my favourite type of clothing. I would much rather rock a baggy pair of men’s overalls than a skirt ANY day of the week and dammit, I would look smokin’ hot doing it too. My mom and I are kind of obsessed with them, to be perfectly honest, although she says my love affair with them did not begin as young as I assumed it had. She tells me that she bought me an insanely cute pair of pink Osh Kosh overalls when I was 3 and I wouldn’t wear them “because they weren’t a dress”. Oh how times have changed.

Anyway, practically as soon as I read those two articles, I was digging through my drawers, trying to find my overalls and I found them yesterday and immediately put them on. Because of my herniated belly, they were pretty snug, but they still fit well enough to not only wear, but wear in PUBLIC, which I totally did and as I said, I looked smokin’ hot doin’ it.

So here are some pics. I even did my makeup. Yay me. :o)

(Weird angle, I know, but I was trying to get my eyeshadow angled right so it would show up.)

THE END.

So at about 8:30pm or so, I packed up the iPad, my chargers, my toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, my journal and a couple of pens just in case they admitted me and off we went to Midland, which is about 20 minutes North of us and is the same hospital I went to in June and again when I had pneumonia this fall.

We got there and did intake and everything was okay. We waited about half an hour in the waiting room and then they called us into the back of the ER where I saw a doctor who asked me how I was feeling, why I was there; we told him the whole pancreatitis story and that we were there to make sure it was NOT that again because the pain was in the same place and was the same kind of pain that started the whole thing last time. He asked me if I wanted anything for the pain and I said no because I’d already taken hydromorph before I came and I didn’t want a needle (I’ve seen this doctor before and he likes to give out the morphine like it was candy). He asked if I was nauseous and I was, so they gave me Zofran which knocked me on my ass and I fought off falling asleep (they had me laying on a table on my back and the room was dim).

They wanted to check my pancreatic levels (because I guess if you have pancreatitis your pancreas juice levels go up, so you don’t have to do an ultrasound right away)  so this really bitchy nurse used the biggest needle at her disposal to take my blood as roughly as possible. Then they said it would take about an hour to get the results so I fell asleep and Blake e-mailed my mom.

I woke up at about 1am because a new doctor came in and he told us that my pancreatic levels were fine and so was everything else. He said he didn’t know what the pain could be, that it was possible it was gall stones, but there’s not a whole lot they can do about those so take some drugs and bear it the best you can and if it’s too much, come back for stronger drugs. And truthfully, the pain is manageable with the hydromorph contin, Tylenol 1 and ibuprofen, but we were concerned it was pancreatitis again, so that’s why we went. I’m not fucking around with that shit ever again, if I’m in pain, I’m seeing a doctor.

So we were out of there by about 1:30am, we went to Tim Hortons so Blake could get a coffee and a muffin because he was tired and neither of us had had dinner. I got a ginger molasses cookie and a Pepsi. I hadn’t had a Pepsi in YEARS and the first sip transported me back to riding in the carpet van with my grampa, on our way to Alliston because I was skipping school to spend the day with him at the store. He had a mini fridge in his van that plugged into the cigarette lighter and it was full of Pepsi.

Anyway, that’s what happened at the hospital. As is the way of things, I’m not in any pain today and I feel totally fine. I think the Zofran they gave me settled whatever was going on in my stomach and now I’m totally okay. Or maybe it was a gall stone and it’s passed now. I have no idea, I just know I feel as normal as normal can be. *shrug*

This morning I ate waffles while reading some of Daisy Yellow’s older posts and I found this one on art journaling very helpful so I thought I’d share. Art journaling, as I’ve mentioned before, is something I’m really really bad at. I just can ‘ot do it.

For most of my life, I’ve written hypergraphically. That means that you write compulsively. Ever since I’ve been taking psychiatric medications, I don’t really write hypergraphically any more, not like I did anyway. I still blather on on the internet of course, but I don’t compulsively write in my journal for 6 hours straight like I used to. BUT, I read these art journaling blogs, like Daisy Yellow’s (I don’t know her name) and Jazmin’s, and I get jealous because when they die, they’re going to leave behind all these gorgeously decorated journals for their family members to read and keep for generations and here mine are, all text in my crappy printing. I mean, there are a lot of them, and I think most of them are pretty interesting (and so do other people, I once sold a journal for $200 which I think was a bargain on his part) but they’re not really aesthetically pleasing. The journals themselves are nice, I don’t cheap out on those unless I have to and most of them were gifts (my favourites are by PAPERBLANKS, in case anyone ever wanted to get me one and mail it, they’re simply the best and you can get them at Chapters or any big box book store *cough*), but inside is just text text text, usually in black pen, although the one I’m using right now has pink flowers on it so I only write in it with pink pen. I have a matching blue one that I haven’t used yet and I’ll only use blue pen in that one. In fact I bought coloured pens specifically to write in these journals because that’s how obsessive I am about them.

That said, I’d really like to have beautifully crafted journals like my online art friends’ but I just don’t really know how and when I’ve tried, it’s just looked stupid. Like, it could take me all day to paint/collage/whatever a spread, which is two facing pages, but what I want to write may be TEN pages, so that just doesn’t work for me. Or by the time I’m finished the spread, I don’t feel the way I did when I started it. For example, one day I tried making an art journal spread because I’d sold a painting and in that moment, I felt successful. So I started making this spread about that but I didn’t get finished until a day later and by then, I didn’t feel that way any more and because I didn’t feel that way any more, I didn’t know what to write that would be authentic. I probably should have written what I wanted to and art journaled around it or something, but that’s not the way most people do it so that thought never occurred to me until just this moment.

It frustrates me greatly. :o/

Less Herger of Comfortable Shoes Studio, retweeted today a tweet from Derwent, which is the company who makes the watercolour pencils and the Inktense pencils I use and this is what it said:

@derwentpencils Don’t let your work become precious. Be bold, experiment, make lots of mistakes. It’s the only way to learn, and it’s fun!

(Actually, the way the tweet was worded, I think it was said to Derwent by a woman named Kathe Parker in response to them asking “what would be your best advice to someone starting out in drawing & painting?”.)

This advice is something I have a lot of trouble with and this is part of the reason why I need to go to Squam so desperately.

I’m poor. I’ve been poor my whole life. When I was little, I was NEVER EVER allowed in my mom’s art room and I was NEVER EVER allowed to touch her materials because we were poor and art supplies are expensive. Too expensive for a kid to use and fuck up with. I was given Crayolas and a pad of paper. I wanted paint but it was too messy and too expensive. I wanted to paint on wood, but it was too expensive and selling her creations was how my mom paid for Christmas and anything “extra”. I wanted to sew, but my mom didn’t have the time to teach me how. Etc etc etc. (I am not *blaming* my mother for anything here, just stating facts.)

So when I grew up and had my own house and my own “art room” and my own art supplies,  everything because “precious” because if I fucked up, I couldn’t afford to replace the materials I fucked up with. I couldn’t just throw supplies in the garbage like that. I still can’t. We have no money. When I sell a painting, at LEAST 75% goes back into buying more supplies because that’s the only way I can afford to have these things and art supplies (and Lush) are really the only things I buy myself. (Of course I bought more stuff when I had a job, I’m talking about when I don’t.) My supplies ARE “precious”. I really really wish they weren’t but they are. I don’t know how these people can pay $20+ for a 4oz bottle of Golden Fluid Acrylic paint because it’s “the best” and then just trash what they’ve made if it’s not what they were trying to do. I just cannot wrap my head around that. I buy Americana paint for $2.99 or, if I’m splurging, $4.99 for Martha Stewart, and I *still* can’t wrap my head around just trashing something if I screw up. Imperfect things really really bother me and so does waste. When I put too much paint on my palette, I use a paintbrush and scoop it all back into the bottle when I’m done, even if it’s black or white, which I buy in big bottles because I use them the most and they’re inexpensive. I just can’t waste the paint. If I were using Golden, I’m not sure I could bring myself to even squeeze any onto my palette at all, I think I’d have to like, squirt tiny amounts onto my brush or something.

Another blog I was reading that was linked on the Squam website talked about things not being “precious” too so I think this may be a concept that someone has written about in a book or something (considering most of the teachers at Squam are published authors) because it seems to be a theme within the mixed media community. I see it popping up all over the place now and I think it’s something I really need to learn. I *do* use inexpensive paint. It really *isn’t* a big deal if I mess up and have to throw away a piece of artwork. As much as it would pain me, a canvas is really only about $6 and if I fuck it up too badly, I can always paint over it, all I need to do is invest in some good gesso.

I need to start making art that isn’t so “safe”. I need to also start making art that’s just for me, like in an art journal. Don’t get me wrong, I *LOVE* my girls. I love making them, I love how beautiful they are, I almost always love the finished product and I don’t intend to stop making them, but I think I need to make other art that’s more accessible too. Or something. I’m not really sure what I need to do, honestly, which is why I’m hoping Squam will crack me wide open. I need to not be so obsessive with everything being perfect on the first try so I don’t waste anything. Like time. I need to not be so obsessive about wasting time as well. Oh god, I have so much to learn! Anyone who thinks art isn’t work can shove their opinion straight up their own ass.  Sideways.

I’m probably channeling my inner Madison by saying this, but god dammit, art is agony! I love it, I hate it, I’m frustrated by it, it makes me cry, it makes me happy, it makes me a motherfucking MESS. Maybe it’s because I’m mentally ill that it makes me so emotional but I don’t understand these artists who are just happy and make happy art and nice little YouTube videos to entertain each other and to learn from each other and here I am, sitting in a dark corner clutching my sketchbook for dear life, unable to move. I want to be like them, I just don’t know how. I’m afraid it’s just not even in my DNA.

I have no idea what my mother’s creative process is. I’ve never really actually watched her paint (except when she was teaching classes) and I’m not there on a day-to-day basis to see like, how she is mentally but in general I think she’s a happy creator in that, I’ve seen her come up with an idea and get really excited about it and have to do it immediately. I’m like that too, when I have what I think is a good idea, I have to get it down on paper right away, even if I only have enough time to do a rough sketch. Then the next day I’ll begin working on the actual piece and obsess until it’s finished. And I do it perfectly the first time almost always. I can honestly say that I’ve only wasted a half sheet of watercolour paper twice in my life (I draw/paint my girls on watercolour paper and adhere them to the canvas with gel medium) because I just do everything in my power not to fuck up because watercolour paper is expensive. I mean, in my first grant proposal, I told them that my dream was to be able to afford 5 different watercolour pads so I could work on 5 paintings at a time. That’s pretty pathetic (no wonder I didn’t get the grant), don’t you think? I currently have 2 watercolour pads and since I draw my girls on half sheets now, I can work on 4 of them at a time, theoretically (I’m not that productive).

My friend Shoshanna Bauer does these really amazing watercolours, you should check her out, I think she’s extremely good at what she does. I would really like to play with watercolours, I like how they look, but I have no idea what I would paint or how you do it. No one’s ever taught me. I’ve looked at a lot of watercolours over the last couple of years trying to dissect them, and I’ve come to the conclusion that watercolours are REALLY fucking hard! Without even trying them, I just know that they’re really fucking hard and to make anything even remotely nice, I’m going to have to waste like, a whole pad of watercolour paper trying to figure them out and that’s expensive! Or at least that’s expensive to ME! And I don’t even HAVE watercolours. I have watercolour pencils, a very small selection of them that someone gave me a long time ago, and I have Inktense pencils, a large case of them, which work very similarly to watercolours (although I don’t think you can do the “salt trick” with Inktense pencils) but I have absolutely no idea how to use them.

I’ve always avoided watercolours because of their impermanence. If you’ve been reading my blog for any great amount of time, you’ll know that I’m obsessed with my art’s longevity. I want my shit to survive WWIII, plain & simple. I varnish the hell out of everything. I use materials that won’t fade, won’t run, won’t smear, are acid-free, archival and will do as they’re told. If you spill a Coke on a watercolour painting, it’s ruined. If you somehow spilled a Coke on one of my paintings, it would roll right off and you could gently wipe it down with a damp cloth. The idea of my hard work being able to basically be erased in a matter of seconds irrationally freaks me out! I’ve varnished watercolour before, but you have to be really really careful with it and you can only use a spray. Anyway, that’s why I plan on taking my watercolours to Squam. Maybe someone there can show me how to use them.

Having said that, I think it’s time for me to talk some more about Squam, as if you haven’t heard enough…I’ve finally sat down and made a list of expenses relating to the trip and if you could spare anything between now and September, it would be GREATLY appreciated. Like maybe for my birthday, which is March 1st? Or if buying a gift is more your style, I would really like this book by one of the teachers I’ll be in class with at Squam, called Painted Pages: Fueling Creativity with Sketchbooks and Mixed Media (by Sarah Ahearn Bellemare), which is on my wishlist. That would be appreciated also.

Here’s what I’ll need (okay maybe one or two is more of a want…):

• Tuition: $1200
• Gas: $200
• An apron: $12
• Fairy wings: $20…
• A Rubbermaid container for all my crap: $10
• Gesso: $10
• Gel medium: $10
• Umbrella: $12
• Flashlight with extra batteries: $15?
• Bug spray: $10
• Paint: $25
• Kit fees: $12
• Eating out on the Saturday night they make us fend for ourselves: $20
• Two cases of Diet Coke & snacks: $25
• Art fair: $75 (tops)
  = $1656

I spoke to my mother yesterday morning and we filled out our registration forms together to make sure we’d be in the same cabin. We’re not taking the same classes, but I think that’s a good thing because that way we can teach each other the things we’ve learned. Last night I put down my deposit and today Blake’ll mail the registration form. Keep your fingers crossed that I get the classes I want! A lot of the spring ones are already full! (But we’re going in September.)

My first choice classes were (was?) Spirit Session on the Thursday, Pages & Paint on the Friday and Vinyasa yoga on the Saturday morning.

Spirit Session is a photography class where the teacher shows you how to use the settings on your camera. I know most of the settings on my little camera, at least enough to get by, but I have no idea how to use our Digital Rebel SLR (I don’t even understand what SLR *is* – Blake’s tried explaining it to me a few times and I just don’t get it). The Rebel is first gen so it doesn’t do video, which sucks, and technically it’s Blake’s camera. I’d really like to get a newer one of my own one day because I have a hard time using someone else’s something, know what I mean? Like I’m afraid of messing up settings or something. But at least I’ll be learning how to use it for whenever I get my own and hey, maybe I’ll find out that my little camera is enough camera for me. Who knows.

Pages & Paint is a mixed media class where I think we create two pieces. The teacher, Sarah Ahearn Bellemare, wrote a book that came out this spring, called Painted Pages: Fueling Creativity with Sketchbooks and Mixed Media that I’ve added to my wishlist and that I’d really like to get for my birthday. Blake won’t get it for me, because he already got me a Smash Book (more on that in a future post) and Smash Book accessories, but maybe my mom or someone else might get it for me. Because I’m in Squam-mode, this book is all I can think about and I read every page of the preview on Amazon and it actually looks like a pretty decent book. So many of these types of books are just basically excuses for the artist to show her work and they don’t really teach you anything. This one teaches you something, it teaches you mixed media techniques and gives you uses for mixed media elements. Like, for example washi tape. Pretend I have no idea what to do with washi tape. This book would tell me what to do with washi tape. The book just looks good and I want it, dammit.

Vinyasa yoga is vinyasa yoga. Vinyasa is really just continuous movement. Because both yoga classes take place on Saturday morning with the same teacher, I’m guessing that if the majority chooses Vinyasa, we do Vinyasa, but if the majority of people choose “Gentle yoga” then we’ll be doing “Gentle yoga”. My mom and I don’t really care either way. I put Vinyasa down for my first choice but Gentle down for my second and third.

Belinda and her boyfriend, Brian, are coming too but I’m not sure what they’re picking for classes. I know Bel wants to take Tell It, which is a writing class but I’m not sure if she actually picked it or not. When I talked to her last night, she was still just deciding whether or not to go so I have no idea what classes she ended up choosing.

I’m not totally sure what my mom picked either but I think she said her first choices were Story Scarves and Raw Matters. Story Scarves is exactly what it sounds like, you make a scarf with your story on it, whatever that may be, not like, Little Red Riding Hood. Raw Matters is a writing course.

I’m kinda getting nervous though, because as I was getting the links to make this post and as my registration envelope is sitting on Blake’s desk, ready to go out, one of the fall classes is already closed! It’s not one of the ones I wanted to take, but I’m pretty sure it was one of my mom’s choices (Gypsy Heirloom). Eeeeep! That one though, is actually off-campus at an artist’s jewelry studio, so it probably had a very small number of spaces to fill. Still, I know my mom picked that one either for a first or second choice. :o/

Before I decided Squam was a possibility, I felt out the atmosphere around Sunnyland to see where the financials may come from and a number of you said that you’d be willing to donate to the cause. I’ve decided to do a ChipIn to collect donations/birthday gifts but I haven’t set it up yet because I’m not 100% sure of how much I’ll need. I know I’ll need $1200 for tuition and $200 for gas and I know one night they don’t feed us so we’ll have to go to a restaurant and there are some supplies on the class materials lists that I don’t have (I may be able to make a “grey card”? I’m still not totally sure what that is, it’s a photography thing) and on the last day of Squam they have an art fair and I may want to purchase a book or something if the financials work out that way so I’m still working out the bugs. Another example is that we’re camping in the woods and the only flashlight I own that works is one you’d put on a keychain, so I’ll have to buy a flashlight and a pack of extra batteries (possibly, I’m not sure what we have for rechargables). I also don’t own an umbrella, which I may need if I’m taking a primarily outdoor photography class and it’s raining. I also really, really want an apron for my birthday – which is March 1st, by the way – one like this:

When I paint and I get some on me or there’s excess or whatnot, I wipe/rub the paint into the arms of my chair because it’s canvas and soaks it right up. Not only am I getting a new chair eventually, likely within the next year because mine’s kaput, but when I go to Squam, I won’t have my chair. I need to get in the habit of wiping the paint somewhere else, that’s not my pants (I’m bad for that too) and I also could use an apron for when I’m splatter painting so I’m not ruining perfectly good t-shirts. I wasn’t really sure where you even buy aprons, but I went to the Curry’s website and this one looked pretty good for only $7.99. Canvas is good. White’s not my colour, but it wouldn’t be white for very long, I suspect. Anyway, I want it and that’s just an example of the little things I’m going to have to buy for this trip – oh, bug spray’s another one – that I’m going to have to sit down and think about before I’ll know the financials. Believe me though, you guys will be the first to know once I figure it out. OH! I’m also going to need a passport or an enhanced driver’s license to get across the border. I think a passport’s $80, not sure about the license. I’ll get whatever’s cheapest I guess. I still maintain that I’ll be able to get over the border just fine with a license and a birth certificate, but my mom insists that I have exactly what is needed to go to the US as dictated by the border patrol’s website, which I haven’t had a chance to look at yet.

Thank god this is 9 months away, there’s so much to do! Lists to make! Things to acquire! BUT IT IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!

My mom asked me yesterday – and I think it was a totally legit, fair question – how my agoraphobia was going to factor in and I told her what my shrink told me a couple of years ago when I asked her the same thing in regards to Touched By Fire, she said that if I’m in a place where my role is defined, I’ll do better than in a place where it is not. For example, at Touched By Fire, my role is “artist” so I know what I’m supposed to do and what’s expected of me but at the Leafs game last year, my role is NOT defined or is defined very loosely, so I can’t function. As far as Squam, my role is “artist” and “student”, two things I’m very good at, so the agoraphobia shouldn’t be a problem. There will definitely be some social anxiety but I have good drugs for that and my mom and Belinda will be there so I should be fine. And I’m like a dog, I like car rides (as long as the person driving isn’t a maniac) and I’ve driven to NYC from here like, 40 times which is the same distance, so I’m not worried about it. I *am* a little worried about being tempted to smoke with my mom smoking in the car and this trip being a little bit stressful, but I figure I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. Plus, Belinda wouldn’t let me smoke anyway and my mom won’t want to share, so I’ll probably be fine. By the time the trip rolls around, I’ll have been a non-smoker for 17 months, if I did the math right (I quit in May 2011, the trip is Sept. 2012).

It’s going to be a really good time, I think. It’ll be September so it won’t be too cold (unless you’re a wuss) but I don’t think we’ll be going swimming. I’m going to bring a bathing suit just in case though. I’m also going to bring a travel mug for tea and I’m going to get my mom to bring her electric kettle for tea in the cabin. I’m going to bring two cases of Diet Coke (the cabins have ice boxes, but I don’t know how big they are – doesn’t matter, I can drink room temperature Diet Coke) and a water bottle for water (duh). I drink a LOT, I dunno why, I’m just *always* thirsty. My mom got me this kickass cup that looks like a take-out cup from Starbucks, but it’s NOT the one from Starbucks, it’s BETTER because it’s MAPLE LEAFS and I love it. It’s for Diet Coke from the bottle though so I won’t be bringing it with me. I need cans so they’ll be more portable in a backpack. The one class, Pages & Paint, they want you to bring your favourite colours of paint so, money permitting, I’d like to get my favourite colours of paint in the Martha Stewart line. Black & white are fine with what I’ve got (Americana) and I have a few colours of Martha’s but I’d like to have some more to bring with me because it really is just excellent stuff. In the pictures on the Squam site, they’re all using Golden acrylics which are very very expensive. They’re the best, but I simply cannot afford that paint. I’ve been using Americana since the beginning but now that I’ve used Martha’s paint, I’ll never buy another bottle of Americana as long as she keeps making paint – it’s that good. I’d like to try her crackle medium to see how it fares against DecoArt’s Weathered Wood, which I’ve also used since the beginning, and she’s got some other mediums I’d like to play with as well, but that I don’t necessarily need for Squam. All I need for Squam is about $25 worth of colours, if they’re on sale. OH! ANd I’m going to have to bring all of my glitter of course – which I will gladly share with anyone who would like any because I have TONS and sparkle is just meant  to be shared!!!

When we were at my mom’s for “second Xmas”, she put out her cheese ball (gross!) with all kinds of crackers and stuff to spread it on and one of the things she put out were Ritz Munchables Pretzel Crackers. That’s the US site and I guess they have “buttery” and “cheesy” flavours but we have “original” and I think Blake said they had “sour cream and onion” or “ranch” or something like that at the store too. Anyway, the ones my mom got were “original” and they were amazing. Between the 7 of us, we easily polished off the entire box and last night Blake went to the store and brought home a box and between yesterday and this morning, I’ve eaten almost the whole box BY MYSELF. They should rename these things to Ritz Pretzel Crack! They’re hard to describe, you really just have to try them. They’re like Ritz crackers, they’re buttery like a Ritz, but they’re made out of pretzel dough so the outside is crunchy like a pretzel and they put coarse salt on top of them. They’re fucking GREAT. 18 thumbs up.

At 2pm today I have to have a root canal that’s apparently going to take an hour and a half to complete. :o( Nothing more to add to that except that it sucks. :o(

I feel like there was something else I wanted to say but I can’t remember what it is so I guess I’ll just end this post here and make a new post if I remember what it was.

OH! Now I remember!

I e-mailed Magic Pony/Narwhal Gallery on Wednesday I think. Here’s what I said:

—————————- Original Message —————————-
Subject: Hi.
From: “S. Crittenden” <Sunny@SunnyCrittenden.com>
Date: Wed, January 11, 2012 1:55 pm
To: contact@narwhalartprojects.com
contact@magic-pony.com
————————————————————————–

Hello there!

My name is Sunny Crittenden and I’m an artist living just a bit north of
Barrie.

In December I was in the art show Touched By Fire at Cooper’s Fine Art
Gallery and there I sold my painting entitled “Black & White”. This is it:

http://www.sunnycrittenden.com/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=7319

It was at Touched By Fire that I met Colette French, the gallery’s
director, and she told my husband to call her once the holidays were over
because she had a space in mind for my work. That space was Magic
Pony/Narwhal Gallery.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been to your space before and I rarely venture
into the city. I’m agoraphobic so I rarely venture into my own town of
2,000 people! However, your websites look interesting and I agree with
Colette that my work may fit in quite well. I was wondering what you might
think?

Here is the gallery of my work:

http://www.sunnycrittenden.com/gallery/main.php

Unfortunately my paintings don’t come across well in photographs because
they’re very very sparkly. I’m no photographer so I have no idea how to
photograph them as they are, so instead, I’ve taken a few short videos of
them, which show their sparkles better. Here they are:

1. http://youtu.be/IVsMx04gmb4
2. http://youtu.be/Ndudc9kjknc
3. http://youtu.be/zjVIUIhn-yU
4. http://youtu.be/_cDL-nPvLaI

Colette said that if the pictures and videos weren’t convincing enough,
that she would be willing to bring some of my pieces to your shop herself
to see what you thought.

I am brand new to the art world. I’ve just been selling my paintings on
Etsy for the past few years and this is my first time trying to sell/show
them outside of my own website and Touched By Fire. I’m not really sure
how this all works.

Thanks for your consideration,
Sunny Crittenden

Magic Pony hasn’t gotten back to me, but I got a nice rejection letter from Narwhal Gallery last night:

—————————- Original Message —————————-
Subject: Re: Hi.
From: “Narwhal Art Projects” <contact@narwhalartprojects.com>
Date: Thu, January 12, 2012 7:57 pm
To: sunny@sunnycrittenden.com
————————————————————————–

 

Hi Sunny,

Thanks so much for your email and for sending us some
of your work. At the moment we aren’t taking on any new artists as we’re
fully booked for the next couple of years – however we’ll make sure to
keep an eye on your website for future consideration. Good luck with
your artwork and all the best!

Kristin

Sooooo so much for that! But there may still be the possibility of Magic Pony maybe? I’m not sure if the rejection was JUST from Narwhal or if it was from both and I’m not sure if I should ask or if I should just leave it and wait for a reply and then if I don’t get one, I get Blake to call Colette to see what we should do next? I have no idea how this stuff works. And who knows, maybe Colette doesn’t have any other ideas either. It’s too bad though because I really do think my stuff would fit in well at Magic Pony. :o/

Okay I think that’s all I wanted to say. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Peace oot! <3

What an obnoxious, mixed up kid. *shakes her head*

I’ve *scoured* the Squam website and I’ve learned that the spring session is more for textiles and knitting while the fall session is more for painting and art journaling. Obviously the fall session sounds like I’d get more bang for my buck. I don’t knit or crochet and I’m not all that interested in learning how. Or at least I don’t want to spend $1200 to learn how.

I said to Blake tonight that it’s a shame I didn’t know about Squam when I was filling out my grant application because this is exactly the kind of thing they would want to pay for. If I don’t get the grant this year and I don’t get to go to Squam this year, I’m definitely putting it in next year’s application.

Have I written about my New Year’s resolution yet? I forget but I don’t think I have. At least not here anyway.

I’ve never really made a real resolution in my life but this year I’ve kinda made two of them. One’s more concrete than the other one though.

The first is that when I finish a painting and i go to take pictures of it for Etsy, I’m going to have a shower, wash my hair, get dressed up, do my makeup and then take a picture of myself – in the kitchen probably – holding the painting or standing beside the painting, and that’ll be the picture you guys see when I promote the Etsy listing for the painting on my site and Live Journal.

The reason I’m doing this is because at Touched By Fire, they had these roaming photographers and one of them approached me and wanted me to stand beside my painting so she could take a picture of me. They put the picture up on Facebook and it is HORRIBLE. It is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. And the main reason for that is because (well because my hair fell out) I look extremely uncomfortable and really, I am one of those people who are really uncomfortable at the end of someone else’s lens. My resolution is to (hopefully) remedy that by taking pictures of myself and getting used to the camera again.

Also, I don’t do much pampering these days. This will probably gross some of you out, but I only change my clothes once every 3 days or so. Same with washing my hair. Because of the GIANT WOUND IN MY STOMACH I can’t really have showers or a bath with more than 3 inches of water, so I clean myself up with baby wipes the best I can and wash my hair by hanging my head over the tub. I can have a shower if we dress my wound with drape, but drape’s expensive and they don’t want to order me any more since I don’t have a vac anymore and the Hypafix tape they use works well enough, you just can’t get it wet. So Blake and I have stashed the last of the drape away from nurses’ prying eyes and we use it very very sparingly so I can shower every now and then.

Anyway, part of the point of this resolution is so I make more of an effort with myself to actually look semi-attractive and to actually wear some of the gorgeous clothes Charlie has bought me over the years, even if it’s not a special occasion. Big belly be damned.

So that’s resolution #1.

Resolution #2 is just to be more open to having friends and Squam is (hopefully) going to be part of that. I don’t know if you guys know this *cough cough* but I’m actually kind of a snob. Blake says I hold people to an impossible standard and considering I have like, 3 friends, only 2 of which I actually see on a regular basis, I think he’s probably right. But the thing is, I don’t want just any friends, I want ART FRIENDS. So that’s where Squam comes in. That’s where I can make art friends.

Okay it’s 6am and I’m getting tired again. Time to go sleep for a few more hours. I’ll pick this back up when I awaken.

~*SLEEP ZzzzZzzZzzzzZzzz*~

So I slept from about 6am to 9:30am and I am still so damn tired. It’s weird; on a day to day basis, I don’t feel sick, because really I’m not that sick, but I get tired pretty easily and it takes me longer to recover from outings than it used to. We went to my mom’s cottage on Saturday to have Xmas with her and it wiped me out. I think I’m still recovering from that and that’s why I’m so tired right now.

Here are pictures of my mom and Madison crushing up peanut brittle to put on ice cream:

In case I haven’t mentioned it recently, I really really love my mom. I also really really love Madison so naturally, I really really love these pictures.

After they all had ice cream, my mom and I sat at the kitchen table talking about Squam while Blake and John and the kids played Guitar Hero. Chris, John’s 17 year old son, is fucking amazing at Guitar Hero. He’s had minimal practice, he says, and he can play pretty much anything on “expert” pretty perfectly and without really even trying. Maybe that’s not amazing, maybe it’s something other people can do, but I’ve never seen anyone as good at it as him (excepting maybe YouTube vids), especially people who don’t even really play it all that often.  The only people I’ve seen who are really good at the game are people who practice and know the songs, he just picks up the guitar, picks a song he doesn’t even know, like one that was cool before he was even born – like WINGS for fuck sakes – and can just play the hell out of it. If I knew him better, I would have made a video of him playing to show you guys, it really is impressive. And while I’m on the subject of Chris, I have to say – and I’ve thought this since the first time I met him – he is a REALLY good kid. He gets along so well with my mom and John, they’re just this cute little family of 3, and I dunno, it just kinda warms my heart seeing them interact. They have their inside jokes and they all seem to close. I really hope John and my mom get married one day. I’m not sure why I care or anything but I think I would enjoy an event celebrating their love, as retarded as that sounds.

Anyway, I’m trying to convince my mom to go to Squam.

How I found out about Squam was that stupid timeline ticker thing on your Facebook feed, the thing on the right-hand corner that shows you what your friends are up to. My mom’s friend Jamie posted that she wanted to go to Squam and that she was putting it out there in the universe to set her intention or something like that and my mom mused that it would only take 10 hours to drive there (it’s in New Hampshire) but that she’d have to be able to smoke in her truck. So I saw this thread and looked up the Squam site to see what it was all about and the more I read, the more I wanted to go. Not being Jamie’s friend, I couldn’t comment on the Facebook thread, so I didn’t bring it up to my mom until I was there on Saturday.

When I brought it up to my mom, she was like, “I wasn’t serious!” and I was really let down because when I read it, I kinda thought she and Jamie were sort of planning to go. I thought it was a real possibility. Now that I’ve brought it up to her as a possibility (and Jamie probably couldn’t go, she has 3 little kids at home who need her), she’s considering it, but I have a feeling she may only be humouring me and taking pleasure in the fact that the longer she takes to decide, the more mental I’ll go. I dunno, that’s just the vibe I’m getting, like she doesn’t really see going as possible at all whereas, I don’t really see why not.

Blake really wants me to go and he wants me to go with my mom. He thinks it’ll be very good for me and he thinks it’ll be very good for my mom and me. I’m not trying to manipulate my mother, who is likely reading this, by saying this, but I think it would be good for us too. Last year was really fucking shitty and I think I need this. I think she needs this too. Blake is so convinced that I need to do this that he’s willing to come with me, if my mom won’t go, and sleep in the car for 5 days if necessary. (It’s $800 to sleep at the camp without taking classes and we just don’t have that money. We don’t have the money for a hotel either. Technically we don’t have money for Squam at all, but I’m hoping to maybe have some of it paid for for my birthday, some of it through either sales or donations on my site and the rest will go on Visa.) I’d much rather go with my mom and have the full girly experience but if Blake has to take time off work and sleep in the car, then I guess we’re willing to do that too. It’s in September, it’s not like it’ll be really cold or anything.

Today was the first day of registration and I’m afraid that if we don’t sign up right away, there won’t be any spots left for us in the classes we want or maybe even at all. I don’t know how many the camp sleeps but in the one group photo I saw of everyone in one session, I counted 105 people which seems like a lot to me. The camp is pretty big though, if I read the map correctly.

My friend Belinda is also planning on going, possibly, so that’ll be good too. She’s a fantastic artist and she wants to take some of the same classes I want to take, so at least I won’t be alone for some of them. I’m not sure what my mom wants to take.

Speaking of my mom, she’s determined to start selling on Etsy this year and I’ll be pimping her like crazy because she’s just so goddamn talented and you guys are going to love her stuff (OR ELSE!). She mostly paints decorative items of the primitive country variety. Lots of antiques. Lots of snowmen and crows and flowers. Painted furniture, painted brooms, glassware etc. She does it all, really. Anyway, stay tuned for that!

Well, I think I’m going to read the rest of the stories from people who have been to Squam and call this post done. I started reading them last night but I got tired and never ended up finishing. I’m interested to know how the food is and I want details dammit, so I think I’m going to Google and try to find some unbiased accounts of people’s time there. Obviously the ones on the Squam site are all glowing reviews. I’m also going to Google the teachers of the classes I want to take to learn more about them. To say I have “Squam Fever” would be an understatement.

So, Blake’s going to make me a fast fry steak and some peas for some much-needed protein and I’m going to read and then I’m going to have a well-deserved nap.

Have a lovely Monday afternoon, boys and girls! <3

So I wanted to update you guys on the “sleep rape” advice column situation. My friends Jade and Scott e-mailed The Star too, to complain about the column and Scott got this reply via e-mail, which is exactly what we all hoped would happen:

“Thank you for your comments which I’m taking very seriously.

I also take my responsibility in this column seriously and understand that many questions are a cry for help. With this woman, I pointed to broader problems, but she needed more acknowledgement of what really happened, and guidance towards ongoing help. I apologize to all of you who expect better of me, and am offering that apology in the Toronto Star newspaper in their next Life edition (Friday, I believe).

I have written the following:

“In many jurisdictions, including Canada, having sex with someone without their consent, even if the person is a spouse, is legally considered a sexual assault of rape.

Your husband is wrong in his belief and abusive in his behaviour.

Your fears for your safety indicate major, worrisome problems in your marriage….if he believes he can do as he will with you, it follows that it’s possible he’ll justify and commit further abuse and violence against you.

Only you know if there’ve been signs of this before. You can still report the sexual assault to the Police, and have your husband learn the hard way that he committed rape. Or, if you believe it’s one incident and he doesn’t “get it,” you must insist on his getting counselling, for your own reassurance, and even as a condition of staying together.

You also need to think through your entire situation and future safety, with the help of professional counselling, which you can seek through the courts if you have him charged, or local community services.

If you feel stuck in an unsafe marriage, you can go to an assaulted women’s crisis center (without his knowledge), for a safe plan for leaving him.”

Again, thank you, as a reader, for taking the time to write about this, and for caring.“

So yay! Justice! Good job, team! This is what she should have written in the first place!

To do that without a person’s consent while they are unaware surely can’t be right. What do you think?

Curious

A: If having “sleep sex” with your husband feels so unsafe, you have bigger marital problems going on. This is what you should be dealing with, more than this one incident.” – The Toronto Star’s sex advice column, December 25th, 2011

You know what to do: publiced@thestar.ca, city@thestar.ca, lettertoed@thestar.ca, ellie@thestar.ca

HAHAHA Blake: “Are you watching videos of Alex again?“