October 16, 2015

Best Thing Ever #2: “The Womanizer”

If you’ll recall, a while back I said that if I found anything I considered to be the best thing ever, I’d tell you all about it. The first Best Thing Ever was the Philips Wakeup Light, which I still use, and Best Thing Ever #2 is this lovely little gadget, “The Womanizer“. The greatest sex toy ever created with the absolute worst possible name.

So last night I wanted to go to the sex shop and buy whatever their best water based lube happened to be and then get sushi. We go to the sex shop with the intent to buy ONE pump bottle of good lube but when we got there, the store was in a bit of disarray compared to the last time I’d been there because maybe they were rearranging things for Halloween or stocking new products or under new management or whatever but the lubes were easy enough to find because they were at the front of the store and the dude who was stocking them showed me where to find toy friendly water based lubes in both the flavoured and unflavoured variety. To be perfectly honest, flavours never even occurred to me. Whatever, I don’t need 20 gallons of lube, so I grab the pump bottle of what he suggested (a gel, it’s Canadian and pretty nice, but they were out of “Fuck Water” which is a product made in my province and would have preferred) and I start my loop around the store, half assedly keeping an eye out for a specific toy that a camgirl I knew used to have that I always wanted to try. It was like, a vibrating wand with a little plastic or rubber circle on the end of it to go around your clit. I didn’t see anything like that so Blake asked me if I wanted him to ask the guy to help us and I said sure and next thing I know, Mr. British Accent is trying to sell me this $229.99 clit stimulator with the worst fucking name ever: The Womanizer.

At first I was just like, flat out, no way, because I’d just purchased a LELO which was pretty pricey and felt I had blown my sex toy budget for the year, but the more he got  talking the more it sounded like an interesting idea: a touchless orgasm. You heard me, TOUCHLESS.  When I told him how I couldn’t see the Womanizer doing anything to me that my LELO didn’t already he asked, “how would you know? Have you ever had a touchless orgasm before?” Hrm.

I told him we’d look it up on the internet and come to a conclusion, paid for our lube and went to get sushi (which actually ended up being BBQ ribs and butter chicken). The whole time we were gone from the sex shop I was thinking “we should go back and get that” except I knew I didn’t have enough money for it after buying the LELO. As we waited for our food, Blake said something like, “That Womanizer thing seemed pretty interesting,” to which I replied “yeah I’m REALLY interested in that” and the next thing you know, we were back at the sex shop going halvsies on one.

The one above is the exact colours I got, but had I have had more patience, I would have ordered from Amazon and got the blue one, which I think is cooler. If you’re in the US, click here. Also, not gonna lie, it’s $40 cheaper on Amazon Canada than the Stag Shop (Canadian sex shop), but for $13 I got the Stag Shop’s extended warranty which covers it for 2 years and even covers when it inevitably stops holding its charge. (Oh yeah, it’s rechargeable.)

Anyway, this is how you use it:

You lay down or sit down and relax, spread your legs and put the opening of the Womanizer’s suction cup lookin’ thing over your clitoris so it’s covered by it. The Womanizer makes this easier to do by glowing red in the dark if you press the power button and turn it on before applying it to your clit. Pressing the power button turns it on the lowest possible setting so you’re not notta have anything shocking hit your clit or anything. Then with your thumb, because they designed this thing pretty brilliantly for how you’d hold it, you can increase the pressure/vibrations 5 more times. Then you wait. Seriously. Lay there and wait and within 5 minutes you will have an intense orgasm that causes things to pulse and convulse. Hit the power button again to bring it back down instantly to the lowest setting which lulls your clit back into a warm, nice place and then wait another minute or two, then turn the setting back up with your thumb and within 3 minutes you’ll have your 2nd Earth shattering orgasm.  Repeat until you’re spent!

Clean up is SO SO SO easy. You just pop off the suction cup part and clean it with soap and water, dry it off and replace. It fits in your hand so it’s discrete. Nothing worse than having to walk down the hallway carrying a Fist of Adonis to the bathroom and getting busted by one of your kids. (Kidding! Sort of….)

So that was last night. Last night I used it with a dob of lube on my clit figuring it would be necessary but it  really isn’t, and I had 3 orgasms. This afternoon I used The Womanizer without lube and had around 8 or 9 orgasms in about 15 minutes. I finally feel like my multiorgasmic self who ISN’T sexually gimped by antidepressants! Hooray!

Also the orgasms are somehow deeper with The Womanizer than any traditional clitoral vibe I’ve used. It really is touchless. There’s a teeny tiny bit of suction, but it’s not a suction device. It’s a vibration device but what’s vibrating is the air WITHIN the suction cup part, like when you put your hand up to a subwoofer and feel the air in front of it pulsating. The Womanizer is very similar.

Anyway, I can’t possibly imagine buying another clitoral device again. There’s no point, this one is perfect! Now if only we could get them to rename it…

THE END.

April 9, 2015

Okay, Foria fucking WORKS. So why isn’t every woman on the planet talking about it yet?

Last year I heard about this cannabis-infused female sexual enhancement oil, called Foria, that one woman claimed had given her a 15 minute orgasm and thought that it sounded too good to be true. Surely if there was something that gave women a 15 minute orgasm, women everywhere would be clamouring for it. Hell, if it even caused ANY orgasm, women would be clamouring for it, right? Anyway, it wasn’t available here so I kinda just put it out of my mind. That is, until I started planning my trip to San Francisco which was preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty much a weed vacation. The ONLY thing I bought there was weed, concentrated weed or things to smoke weed out of/with. Foria was available at one of the dispensaries we were utilizing and I think it was $40 US for a 10 or 15ml spray bottle.

I actually smuggled the Foria home with me because I never felt like trying it when we were in SF and I was pretty sure I could get away with it.

When we got home, I put the Foria in the bedside table drawer where all my toys live, and pretty much forgot about it until Monday night.

First, a little background about me:

– I have been on anti-depressants for the past year that annihilated my sex drive completely that we’ve only begun to wean me off of (by 1/3 so far).
– I have only had one orgasm in my entire life from penis-in-vagina sex and to this day we still don’t know why or how it happened.
– Oral does nothing for me. I mean, it doesn’t feel bad or anything but I’d take a back massage over that any day of the week.
– I can only have clitoral orgasms that I cause myself and when not on shitty anti-depressants, I am multi-orgasmic.
– I am a medical marijuana patient with a ridiculous tolerance to the herb.

I forget whose idea it was, but one of us suggested that since we had nothing better to do, we might as well try the stuff.

In the bedroom, I sprayed my pussy with 8 squirts of Foria coating everything on the outside and a bit of the inside. It seemed like a lot, like my vagine was slick as hell, but it wasn’t lubey, it was silky, then I laid on my side and vaped some cannabis using my Pax, while Blake’s fingers massaged the oil into my skin. After half an hour, the oil was about 3/4 of the way absorbed into my skin and that’s when we started fucking. Nothing fancy, THIS WAS SCIENCE, so just missionary position.

Upon insertion of Blake’s penis into my vagina, I was immediately pre-orgasmic with every movement. From my vagina hole. Not even g-spot stuff, it was like the nerves around my vaginal opening, and about an inch inside, woke up for the first time in my life. Where there used to just be the same feeling as sticking my finger in my ear, there was suddenly a symphony of pleasure, it was crazy. I felt colours and I wasn’t even stoned. Is this what sex is SUPPOSED to feel like? It was actually sort of weird because, while I always participate in sex, it’s never had anything to do with me so movement has always been in response to what Blake wanted to do but with Foria, I kinda lost myself in the moment and turned into a literal greedy fuck where each movement was optimized for MY pleasure. Afterward, Blake even remarked that he could tell something was going on because I, from the bottom, basically controlled everything we did without even realizing it. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed even writing this, but Foria has basically turned me into a cock hungry monster because it’s all I’ve thought about this week but I only have this itty bitty bottle and can’t get more so it’s a special occasion kinda thing until laws change. I have never craved – nor even particularly wanted – dick in my life. I have always, in the back of my mind, wondered if I wasn’t asexual because I was so disinterested in sex. But now every time I look at Blake, all I can think is, “your dick could be in me right now”.

But that was pre-Foria sex. I didn’t think it would do a damn thing and now I’m trying to think of elaborate strategies to make what I have last longer or get more of it.

Now I know that my body is CAPABLE of producing these feelings (and honestly, that’s kind of a relief after feeling defective most of your life) and I know what they feel like, I’m hopeful that eventually body recall could kick in and the Foria would be unnecessary. Like waking a sleeping dragon. But testing that theory would require lots more experimentation.

Having said alllllllllllllllllll of this, I did not have an orgasm (but it felt so good compared to what I’m used to, I ain’t even mad). The Foria did not seem to stimulate my clitoris in any way but that could be due to meds and the fact that my jackpack needs serious replenishing. (Recommend good porn!) My very first thought when we were finished was that if they could get more THC in this stuff, it would DEFINITELY give me an orgasm. From my vagina. No doubt in my mind. I think the only reason it didn’t is because my tolerance is too high. I also no longer call bullshit on the 15 minute orgasm due to this stuff  because I was in the first stage of orgasm the entire time we were fucking so I totally believe that a woman could have a sustained orgasmic experience from using this. Again, no doubt in my mind. That’s why I cannot believe that this stuff is only available in TWO US STATES by prescription. This is all-natural Lady Viagra! Like I said in the beginning, women should be clamouring for this shit the way men went nuts over actual Viagra and change some super stupid laws in the process. I don’t understand why this isn’t happening already! GIRL POWAH! No? :o/

I’m definitely not saying it’s the magical cure-all for every woman (just as I don’t think weed is the magical cure-all for every affliction), there’s not enough evidence to suggest that, but it is absolutely worth trying if you get the opportunity And if you have tried it, I wanna hear about it!

Posted at 6:49 pm in: 4/20 , Blake , Cannabis , Health , Politics , San Francisco , Sex , Spring , USA , winter
March 14, 2015

HAPPY STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY 2015, FELLAHS!

I hope you like it medium rare, bb. ;o)

(more…)

Posted at 3:00 pm in: Ana , Friends , Health , Sex , Women
February 19, 2015

Camwhores. Babbling. I has a sad. :o(

Yesterday Camwhores.com, where I have had my webcam exclusively for 14 years and where practically every single one of my friends come from, made a public announcement saying that they will be shutting down the site as of March 17th. I’ve talked with Kevin and there’s nothing to be done, it’s just time. A lot of people have been talking about building new portals or new communities so we all stay together but knowing what I do about what it took to make Camwhores work, I’m not very optimistic anything will last very long. I think the idea that shows the most promise is the subreddit Belinda set up, but I’m not really that much into Reddit so I can’t say if I’ll be in there much. I’ll definitely try. I know I won’t be posting nude cam pics, if I am, because the best part about CW for me, was that all my nudes and shows and sexual anythings were “contained” in one place where all of that was appropriate and inaccessible to minors. I don’t want sex stuff on my site and there’s no such thing anymore as a 30 second refreshing still cam portal. Camwhores was the the first and last one. And even if there was, honestly, I doubt I would trust it unless I knew the person running it. (And anyone I can think of who I’d trust wouldn’t be able to pull it off, I’m fairly sure.)

I’m fucking sad and I can’t stop crying.  I had the realization today that since Camwhores is the ONLY place I cammed, if it doesn’t exist, I guess I’m not a camgirl anymore. :o/

A lot of girls will go to MyFreeCams.com and probably make more money, but for some of us, it was never ever about money. And me? I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate streaming video. Loathe. I don’t like watching myself move and talk and hear myself, like I just can’t deal. But at the same time, I can’t not watch. The other thing is that MFC has a lot of trolls who are gonna make fun of me because I have a space between my teeth or because of my scar or because they’re just assholes out to ruin a girl’s day and I did the dealing with those kinds of trolls 15 years ago when the internet was much smaller and my reputation was a lot bigger and I am way too grown to step into that arena and get “rolled in” again. And for what? It’s not like I *have* to show off my body or I can’t live or anything. It’s just that sometimes you wanna post a pic on the internet of (a) body part(s) you can’t show on Instagram or Facebook. Even though we’re all friends, being on CW was/is partly performance, you’re in the spotlight while doing a show, with a totally appreciative audience who all know it’s better to leave for 20 minutes, than to say anything negative because they will be banned for various lengths of time to indefinitely. To express your negative opinion of a camwhore, members could vote them minus or vote all of their pictures 1s (on a scale of 1-10). There was a healthy outlet built into our community for negative feelings and as simple as it was, most of the time it was enough. In recent history, the only egregious thing I can recall is a member got really drunk and went on an awful tirade in chat about one of our girls, who I think was even live at the time, and he had to be given a timeout. But what did he do when his ban was over and he came back? He wrote a sincere public apology to the girl by way of CW’s blogs and while I forget if she actually accepted it, that’s the kind of gestures that could happen in our Camwhores community completely organically. You are never going to find a community on the internet that moderated itself so well, with very few people actually having the ability to moderate. Especially not one that grew out of the E/N scene. (I actually only know of one person from the E/N scene A) still doing E/N basically and B) making a decent living at it, but some people I know are primed and ready for it to come back.)

There is nowhere on the internet where you can post a picture straight from your webcam, let alone a nude, let alone the most explicit nude you can think of. You can post nudity on Twitter but my mom’s on my Twitter. She was probably okay with naked tree pose last week but I doubt she’d be happy knowing the precise colour of my labia. And the picture I *was* gonna post on Camwhores 2 days ago that would be totally within site rules but decided against because I had an ingrown hair and it wouldn’t be perfect enough, would almost definitely get me perma-banned from Twitter. And we all know Facebook and Instagram are lame when it comes to nudity in even ART. My friend and fellow artist Ana Voog has been suspended from Facebook a million times for posting artwork barely featuring nudity, it’s ridiculous. I get wanting to keep Facebook a SFW place, I agree with that and think it should be what it is, but when we’re banning art and breastfeeding, something’s fucking wrong with us. And of course there’s Instagram whose most famous hashtag is #freethenipple. Need I say more on  that one? (I like to covertly insert my boobs and nether regions into Instagram. Only I know it’s there or what it is, but it’s there dammit.) You can get naked on tumblr. Yes. Yes, you can. Tumblr is basically the 2nd last place on the internet I’d like to be, with 4chan taking home the prize. Tumblr just confuses me and ruins all the shows I watch because I download or record them and watch them later and how some of these people get gifs BEFORE the show airs, I have no idea, but tumblr is just a spoiler minefield so I avoid it at all costs. I realize I can stop following these people but sometimes I like seeing the gifs. Anyway, the tumblr community freaks me out and it’s a shitty place to actually communicate with people so that’s just a great big “no”.

So that pretty much leaves LiveJournal – which is totally fine with nudity but a bloody tampon is “obscene”, as Ana found out over a decade ago – and my site. You can’t make a webcam page on LiveJournal. I have a webcam page on my site, but it just tells you to go to Camwhores with a brief description of what I do there and approximately when. If I could change that page, and I only say “if” because it’s a WordPress page, so that my cam image updates every 30 seconds (maybe longer since it won’t be like CW), no archives and there’s a little chat thingy on the page, that would be good. Ideally the chat thingy would be one that you can pop out of the page or one that makes sounds when people talk and one where you can definitely ban people. In my brain, this sounds like an impossible thing, maybe to someone else it sounds simple. I dunno. A bonus to having a cam on my site is that Wes and Madison can be on it, so that would be cool. Instead of a PayPal link (because PayPal gets in a snit if they think you’re using it for anything “adult”), I think fuckit, I’ll accept Bitcoin. Why not? Camming’s not about money to me and Bitcoin’s not even real money to me, but with it there’s still an exchange of value, of appreciation, even if it’s a fragment of a cent. (I have no idea how Bitcoin works but I am signed up with this cool Bitcoin thing that Steph (the Geek) used to tip me enough Bitcoin to buy a cupcake if I’m ever anywhere that takes Bitcoin and has cupcakes that price! It’s made for tipping so it would be perfect. Totally forget what it’s called but it’s in my e-mail.)

Kevin doesn’t think there’s an audience for 320 x 240 static cams anymore but Ana and Steph and I are not so sure about that. What we all do about it remains to be seen. Maybe Everything/Maybe Nothing.

January 31, 2015

2.5 Hours ‘Til Work

I kinda like working on Saturdays now, where before I used to dread it and referred to it as “a marathon, not a sprint” because it was just me vs. thousands of unhappy people for 9 hours but now during my shift, I have three trainees who don’t necessarily make my day any easier but at least it’s not so damn lonely anymore. Two of the trainees are new people to me, both dudes, and I’m potentially going to meet at least one of them, if not both, when we’re in San Francisco.  Actually when we’re in SF, I’m going to be having a work meetup with those two hopefully, along with two other coworkers. The cottage that we rented has a backyard and I’m hoping whatever day we do this, it doesn’t rain so we can all sit out there because the cottage itself is pretty small and you can’t really like, talk and hang out and socialize at a restaurant. So that’ll be cool.

I went to my shrink on Monday and we decided not to mess with my meds until I get back from SF, but she wants to get me off of clonazepam (I take 0.5mg before bed and 1.5mg before a work meeting) because she says I’ve been on it too long and it’s not good for me. I told her I was totally fine with that if she had something to replace it with. She suggested cognitive behavioural therapy and I just about lost my mind. THIS is what I did with my cognitive behavioural therapy certificate of completion and sums up my feelings on the subject:

She pretty much wants me to stay on Cipralex despite my sexual dysfunction, but is willing to try Prestiq/Effexor instead. She has this neat book with all the drugs in it, or maybe just the psychiatric ones, and it has charts with percentages of victims/patients who experienced whatever side effect. All of the other anti-depressants available to me made 30% of patients gain weight (not doing that again) except Prestiq/Effexor. Ten percent of people on both Prestiq and Cipralex experienced sexual dysfunction. So it could help or it might not. *shrug* Cipralex is a fantastic anti-depressant, so it sucks that it causes this issue for me. Hopefully Prestiq is better.

Speaking of sex, yesterday morning my friend told me about this awesome deal Amazon had, which was 60% off LELO vibrators and I ended up getting the exact one I wanted, which is $229 on LELO’s website, for $145. Deal of the year! All the camgirls swear their undying love for LELOs and my little bullet, the same one my friend Quimm Anaheim sent me like, oh god, 6 or 7 years ago now because she felt bad at my state of toylessness, is finally starting to die so I’d been looking for something to replace it with. I’ve never learned the trick to the whole g-spot deal, so I guess we’ll see what happens. The idea is to use the LELO *with* the Foria in San Francisco, ideally blowing my head off. :o) We’ll see…

Something we’ve gotten into recently – don’t laugh – is Magic: The Gathering. See, we live in a REALLY tiny town and the only thing to do in this town on a Friday night is go to the dive bar, go to the sports bar, or play Magic at the comic shop which doesn’t close until midnight, minimum. All the cool people in our vicinity choose the latter. It started with Madison and then Madison said I should play so I walked into the comic shop with the intention of spending $35 building a deck and I walked out of there about $120 lighter…Then Blake started playing and Wes has a deck that Madison built him for Xmas which is all wolf-themed, but he doesn’t really play with us. He usually goes to the comic shop when we play there, though, just to watch. I’m too green to play at the comic shop, but I did participate in 2 of the pre-release weekend events (sort of). I first one was on the Friday and you got your box which had 4 or 5 packs of cards in it, 2 or 3 of them from the new series being released and one a seeded pack of better cards (theoretically) so you open those and make a deck with those cards and then you play a Magic tournament with those decks. I was on board because I liked that everyone was on a level playing field, no one had like, uber thousand dollar cards or anything, so I figured I actually had a chance of not losing horribly, but then I realized that I would have to play with people I didn’t know and Blake or Madison wouldn’t be with me while I was playing to help me (because I’m still pretty new and I still don’t understand attacking/blocking/logic), so I just opened my packs there, as was the requirement, and dropped out of playing in favour of going home. The deck I made that night was black and white and actually pretty solid, I even pulled a planeswalker, so I probably could have done well but my anxiety was through the roof. I had to work on the Saturday so I couldn’t take part in the 2 events that day but Blake and I did take part in the “two-headed giant”, I think they called it? Where Blake and I were a team against another team. That was good. We lost both of our games, but I wasn’t anxious at all and I didn’t feel like such a n00b. I made a red/white/black deck that day and then when we bought our box of boosters on release day, I built on it further and now the stupid thing is a ridiculous 75 cards that I haven’t played with enough to pare down yet.

I think I’m a long way away from being able to play Magic at the comic shop but it’s something to work up to, I guess.

Oh, and did you know that one of the characters in Magic is trans? Her name is Alesha and she smiles at death. Before even knowing about that, she was pretty much the reason I decided to stick with the red/white/black deck. It’s not because she’s any uber kinda card or anything, I just liked her name and I pulled the promo foil of her.

Anyway, it’s now a half hour until work so I’m going to medicate and eat something and get on with my day.

PS. I don’t think all of my WordPress posts are x-posting to people’s Live Journal friends lists. They do show up on my LJ though (and my site) so if it feels like you might have missed something, check there.

PPS. I made a page on my site about weed.

PPPS. What are you listening to right now?

January 26, 2015

Shrinkage

Hi.

I have to see my new shrink in 3 hours, which means we have to leave in a little less than 2 hours and I’m not sure if that’s enough time to fit in everything on my mind but I’ll do my best.

At my last shrink visit, we discussed getting me off of the Loxapine, which is an anti-psychotic I’ve been using to sleep for about 3 years that’s apparently not only not that fantastic for your liver but one of its side effects is this neurological issue called Akathisia which is the inability to sit still, pretty much. It sounds really dumb, but on a scale of “excruciating” to “dear god just please kill me”, with pancreatitis at the high end and endometriosis and childbirth at the low end, Akathisia would actually be closer to pancreatitis. It’s not painful, per se, but it’s almost like there’s high voltage electricity inside you, like physical calories, that can only come out or be expressed through your arms and legs by jumping jacks or running on the spot or just finally, because you’re completely exhausted and should have been asleep hours ago, plain old continuous contortion in the dark in your bed while you cry and feel guilty for keeping your husband awake (or hating him for being asleep). The only thing that we found consistently worked was me overloading on sleep meds (which we had no idea were causing this in the first place) and having Blake drive me around the beach until I fell asleep, like a baby. These episodes would begin shortly after I took my sleep meds (but again, we never made the connection) at about 7pm and would continue until I passed out around midnight. Which really fucking sucks when you work in 4 or 5 hours. This had been happening, mostly in the warm months, about once every 2 weeks or so since I started taking this stuff and I never knew what was happening. The sensation of this “electricity” is a lot like when your foot falls asleep and in waking up, AFTER the pins & needles phase, the one right after that where if someone were to touch your foot you’d punch them right in the fucking face. You know the one. It’s shocking, right? Almost painful but not? I dunno how to describe it other wise but it’s like a constant pressure of that and the need to relieve it. So hard to explain and I am so happy that my new shrink connected the dots on that one so hopefully now that I’m not taking the drug anymore it won’t happen any more. It hasn’t so far and it’s been like, 2 months.

Something else I thought of while writing this is that I didn’t experience acute Akathisia as often this summer/fall as I did the previous year and I think that’s because this summer/fall, I changed my routine so I don’t take my sleep meds Fri/Sat/Sun and I stay up until between 3am-never making art and hanging out with some of my cyberpals in a top secret location. It would make sense that since I started taking less of it, the issue didn’t happen as often.

I’m so annoyed I didn’t catch this myself because I’m usually really proactive about researching the meds I take and I know I looked Loxapine up when I was first prescribed it but nothing bad happened right away so I just never put two and two together. I never  told any doctors about these episodes because they were simply so bizarre and indescribable and FLUKEY that I was convinced either “this is not a chronic thing and it’ll just go away” (lie) or if I tried to describe it to a doctor they wouldn’t take me seriously.

Stopping the meds should make the symptoms disappear, although in some cases it can take years for it to stop completely. I’m pretty confident that I’m done with it though. Not worried. Now I’m taking Trazodone to sleep instead and so far everything’s been a-okay.

Next thing on the list to discuss with my shrink is getting me the FUCK off Cipralex because, while I’m actually pretty happy and it’s good stuff, I’ve only had *maybe* 3 orgasms in the last 8-9 MONTHS, which is starting to drive even me, the sexlesss wonder, absolutely crazy so it’s time to find something new that doesn’t break my clit. I was told to give it 6 months for the side effects to go away and it’s been long enough, this is not just gonna go away.

Speaking of genitals, I had my pap smear a few months ago and told the nurse who did it that my endo is starting to become a problem again (yay, right? of course it is…) and since I now have a mesh in my stomach holding everything together, I can no longer safely have laparoscopic surgery and I’m not willing to have a hysterectomy, so my options now are painkillers and taking the birth control pill continuously so I don’t have any periods anymore. She understood as she had endo and went the hysterectomy route and from experience, she agreed with all of my reasons for being against it at 35. She left a note for my doctor about a prescription for birth control and he called it in the next day, Blake picked it up and I started taking it. It’s Tri-Cyclen Lo 28, but the first thing I did was ditch the sugar pills because I didn’t want to accidentally take any of them and long story short I’ve either been spotting, full on bleeding or leaking brown tissue and fluid since I started taking this shit so I need to see him pronto to get me on something else. I don’t think the nurse fully explained in her note what I was doing or why I was doing it because if she would have, I’m pretty sure he would have put me on something different. I think these pills are like, baby birth control pills for teenagers. I really wanted to ask my doctor for Marvelon 21 because that’s what I was on before and it did the job of keeping my periods at bay (not pain-free but period-free most of the time), but then I read this page about it and now I don’t think it’s a  good idea. I’m 35 and I have had a blood clot (when I was sick, I had a clot in a vein in my spleen – god it is so gross knowing that *shudder*) and I don’t smoke cigarettes but I do smoke weed obviously and I’m not sure if that’s the same thing as far as clots are concerned. I just need something that’ll stop my period and not kill me, kthnx.

I need all this shit figured out pronto! Because! Dammit! I wanna get laid in San Francisco! There’s this stuff you can get in California called “Foria“, which is weed spray for your pussy and I plan on shelling out seventy-nine American dollars to be sorely disappointed haha BUT! It’s for science! And I’m on holiday! So whatever! Truthfully, I’m skeptical about it for myself because as I’ve explained before, eating or vaping weed doesn’t do anything to me so I’m not totally convinced it’ll work subdermally either, but hey! Cool if it does! And if it doesn’t, I’m sure if I leave it in SF, Steph will put it to good use. :o)

Well, I guess I better go get ready to see my shrink. Peace out, homies!

November 5, 2013

Whoredom Relieves Boredom

As I mentioned last month, I’ve been spending a lot of time over at Camwhores.com (NSFW) chatting on the tagboard, posting on the forums and reading the other camgirls’ blogs. Oh, and updating my webcam of course. I’ve been trying, and mostly succeeding, to take at least one pic a day, whether it be a webcam pic, a pic with my iPod or cell phone or my big camera. All of the above counts. I share these pics on Camwhores, Twitter and sometimes Facebook. (Facebook is almost 100% art-related, though.)

Anyway, I use a program to upload webcam pictures and as I do so, I archive SFW ones that I think are okay for this small gallery (compared to my whole archive at Camwhores) I use to show people what I do, for the most part. Here are some from October:

I mean, before Facebook, before Instagram, before “selfies”, there were camgirls uploading pics at 320×240 pixels every 30 seconds, live, and most of them were on Camwhores. Some of them still are. Only now they’re uploading high-res images and doing live streaming shows that are archived for viewing later, if you couldn’t catch it live.

Anyway, what else can I say? I’m just a camwhore at heart.

October 3, 2013

One above and one below.

So sometimes people forget I’m a camgirl because it’s not something I really talk about but I thought today I’d show you some of what I do, which is really just taking pictures of myself with a webcam, but there are also live streaming shows, one of which I did yesterday that was pretty explicit.

For those who don’t know, I cam at an old cam portal called Camwhores and if you would like a no strings attached trial for the site, just e-mail me at Sunny@SunnyCrittenden.com and I’ll send you one. The site is obviously NSFW but it is a lot of fun so if you’ve never checked it out, now’s a good time because I’m pretty active over there at the moment.

And usually the worst thing you’re going to see on my cam is my boobs, but the shows are a little pornier. I think they’re more like science, personally, but I know I’m probably alone in my opinion.

Anyway, here are some of the cam pics I took in September:

So this is what I do all day in addition to working and making art. Well, that’s not ALL I do but it’s a lot of what I do. Anyway, I saved the pics to archive in my personal gallery and thought I might as well post them. Have a lovely day!

September 11, 2013

Aaaaall Riiiiiight Now, Baby It’s All Right Now

So my mom’s got her studio tour in Uxbridge next weekend which means we can’t really come and hang out with them and my brother but possibly the following Monday is okay because the weekend after that is my studio tour (from hell) and I’m going to need the Monday following it to decompress. I’m also going to suggest Wednesdays if she thinks that Monday is no good.

I haven’t seen my brother in 8 years. He wasn’t very nice to me during our last interaction which was only a few months ago so I don’t know what to expect.

I’m mesmerized by this thorough list of songs that use cowbell.

Blake’s got me hooked on this show called Supernatural which is actually very Buffy-esque but nowhere near as cool.  We’re in the middle of season 2 so we have a long way to go to catch up with current TV. I think Blake said there’s been 6 or 7 seasons so far? So yeah, we have a long way to go.

I’m pretty stressed out about the studio tour. One of the ladies who’s sharing the space with me (also a painter) suggested that we do something artistic, like part of our process, while people are walking around. I dunno how I feel about that but at the same time, what am I going to do, just sit there and nervously tweet? So I’ve decided I’m going to work on my colouring book while I’m there because those girls don’t require shading. My shading process uses Krylon’s Workable Fixative and it’s probably not a good idea to use it in an enclosed space with no windows. (I do at home because it’s just a tiny spritz every now and then, but I can see why it might be a concern.)

This might sound like the biggest first world problem ever but I dunno what to wear. Blake said “something Free People-y” which to me means “dress up”. Well we have to be there at 9am – likely before that. You want me up, my hair done, my makeup done AND dressed up and out the door by like, 8:45am? Lawd help me please. I think, especially since I’m going to be sitting most of the time, that my overalls with a tank top is just fine for both days. Tell me if you disagree. It’s comfortable, and get THIS, apparently “on trend“.  So people will think I’m cool, right? And if I get cold, I’ll just put on a hoodie. Good?

And finally, I sent Blake a picture of my boob…

Which is MONUMENTAL because he put a “u” in “favourite” like a proper citizen of the commonwealth!

Anyway, that’s all I got. Peace oot, homies.

September 5, 2013

How Not To Be Terrible When Talking About Rape

ARTICLE HERE.

Posted at 1:40 pm in: Current Events , Fall , Feminism , Internet , Sex , Summer , Women

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