June 29, 2015


This won a Titanium Lion at Cannes this year (Canadian agency, yay!). If you haven’t seen it, take a look, the whole thing’s a fucking masterpiece. A billion times better than having a happy period, too.

January 26, 2015



I have to see my new shrink in 3 hours, which means we have to leave in a little less than 2 hours and I’m not sure if that’s enough time to fit in everything on my mind but I’ll do my best.

At my last shrink visit, we discussed getting me off of the Loxapine, which is an anti-psychotic I’ve been using to sleep for about 3 years that’s apparently not only not that fantastic for your liver but one of its side effects is this neurological issue called Akathisia which is the inability to sit still, pretty much. It sounds really dumb, but on a scale of “excruciating” to “dear god just please kill me”, with pancreatitis at the high end and endometriosis and childbirth at the low end, Akathisia would actually be closer to pancreatitis. It’s not painful, per se, but it’s almost like there’s high voltage electricity inside you, like physical calories, that can only come out or be expressed through your arms and legs by jumping jacks or running on the spot or just finally, because you’re completely exhausted and should have been asleep hours ago, plain old continuous contortion in the dark in your bed while you cry and feel guilty for keeping your husband awake (or hating him for being asleep). The only thing that we found consistently worked was me overloading on sleep meds (which we had no idea were causing this in the first place) and having Blake drive me around the beach until I fell asleep, like a baby. These episodes would begin shortly after I took my sleep meds (but again, we never made the connection) at about 7pm and would continue until I passed out around midnight. Which really fucking sucks when you work in 4 or 5 hours. This had been happening, mostly in the warm months, about once every 2 weeks or so since I started taking this stuff and I never knew what was happening. The sensation of this “electricity” is a lot like when your foot falls asleep and in waking up, AFTER the pins & needles phase, the one right after that where if someone were to touch your foot you’d punch them right in the fucking face. You know the one. It’s shocking, right? Almost painful but not? I dunno how to describe it other wise but it’s like a constant pressure of that and the need to relieve it. So hard to explain and I am so happy that my new shrink connected the dots on that one so hopefully now that I’m not taking the drug anymore it won’t happen any more. It hasn’t so far and it’s been like, 2 months.

Something else I thought of while writing this is that I didn’t experience acute Akathisia as often this summer/fall as I did the previous year and I think that’s because this summer/fall, I changed my routine so I don’t take my sleep meds Fri/Sat/Sun and I stay up until between 3am-never making art and hanging out with some of my cyberpals in a top secret location. It would make sense that since I started taking less of it, the issue didn’t happen as often.

I’m so annoyed I didn’t catch this myself because I’m usually really proactive about researching the meds I take and I know I looked Loxapine up when I was first prescribed it but nothing bad happened right away so I just never put two and two together. I never  told any doctors about these episodes because they were simply so bizarre and indescribable and FLUKEY that I was convinced either “this is not a chronic thing and it’ll just go away” (lie) or if I tried to describe it to a doctor they wouldn’t take me seriously.

Stopping the meds should make the symptoms disappear, although in some cases it can take years for it to stop completely. I’m pretty confident that I’m done with it though. Not worried. Now I’m taking Trazodone to sleep instead and so far everything’s been a-okay.

Next thing on the list to discuss with my shrink is getting me the FUCK off Cipralex because, while I’m actually pretty happy and it’s good stuff, I’ve only had *maybe* 3 orgasms in the last 8-9 MONTHS, which is starting to drive even me, the sexlesss wonder, absolutely crazy so it’s time to find something new that doesn’t break my clit. I was told to give it 6 months for the side effects to go away and it’s been long enough, this is not just gonna go away.

Speaking of genitals, I had my pap smear a few months ago and told the nurse who did it that my endo is starting to become a problem again (yay, right? of course it is…) and since I now have a mesh in my stomach holding everything together, I can no longer safely have laparoscopic surgery and I’m not willing to have a hysterectomy, so my options now are painkillers and taking the birth control pill continuously so I don’t have any periods anymore. She understood as she had endo and went the hysterectomy route and from experience, she agreed with all of my reasons for being against it at 35. She left a note for my doctor about a prescription for birth control and he called it in the next day, Blake picked it up and I started taking it. It’s Tri-Cyclen Lo 28, but the first thing I did was ditch the sugar pills because I didn’t want to accidentally take any of them and long story short I’ve either been spotting, full on bleeding or leaking brown tissue and fluid since I started taking this shit so I need to see him pronto to get me on something else. I don’t think the nurse fully explained in her note what I was doing or why I was doing it because if she would have, I’m pretty sure he would have put me on something different. I think these pills are like, baby birth control pills for teenagers. I really wanted to ask my doctor for Marvelon 21 because that’s what I was on before and it did the job of keeping my periods at bay (not pain-free but period-free most of the time), but then I read this page about it and now I don’t think it’s a  good idea. I’m 35 and I have had a blood clot (when I was sick, I had a clot in a vein in my spleen – god it is so gross knowing that *shudder*) and I don’t smoke cigarettes but I do smoke weed obviously and I’m not sure if that’s the same thing as far as clots are concerned. I just need something that’ll stop my period and not kill me, kthnx.

I need all this shit figured out pronto! Because! Dammit! I wanna get laid in San Francisco! There’s this stuff you can get in California called “Foria“, which is weed spray for your pussy and I plan on shelling out seventy-nine American dollars to be sorely disappointed haha BUT! It’s for science! And I’m on holiday! So whatever! Truthfully, I’m skeptical about it for myself because as I’ve explained before, eating or vaping weed doesn’t do anything to me so I’m not totally convinced it’ll work subdermally either, but hey! Cool if it does! And if it doesn’t, I’m sure if I leave it in SF, Steph will put it to good use. :o)

Well, I guess I better go get ready to see my shrink. Peace out, homies!

January 12, 2013

I Will Shiver the Whole Night Through

Blake’s not up yet and I’m not sure if we’re going out for breakfast today like we usually do because I dropped a LOT of money yesterday on his birthday and I’m not sure I can afford breakfast today.

Blake turned 39 yesterday and we started the day by me accidentally waking him up early by my trying to go back to sleep after work and failing, then we went to 50s & 60s Diner with Wes, who was home from school due to a teacher protest (ugh). Blake and I had their version of an Egg McMuffin, which was good but not as good as usual and Wes had banana pancakes.

Then we went to Barrie to get the windshield fixed because it has two chips in it but the guy said they were too small to even bother fixing and that they wouldn’t crack any further. Then we went to these fancy shoe stores because Blake has something wrong with his feet that I forget the name of but it’s something like “fasciitis” so he needs special orthopedic shoes so his feet won’t hurt all the time but all the ones we saw were ugly or expensive so we didn’t buy any.

While Blake went to the last shoe store, I went to Curry’s because it was in the same plaza and I bought more palette paper because I’m almost out, two really nice (and expensive for what they were) gel pens and this paper that’s endorsed by Eric Carle who wrote The Very Hungry Caterpillar (among others). This paper is a lot thinner than watercolour paper but promises to hold wet media without crinkling which is what I need for button making. It was only $2.99 so I thought I’d try it out. For my girls I use watercolour paper but I think that’ll be too thick for button making, which is why I was looking for thinner paper to begin with. I guess we’ll see how it goes.

After Curry’s and shoes, Blake and I went to the Bayfield Mall to see Django: Unchained, which was really good but the popcorn made me feel like vomiting they put so much butter on it and it made Blake feel sick too so when we walked into our house and it smelled like cake, I thought I was going to die. (Madison made Blake a birthday cake with the ingredients I bought when I did groceries earlier in the week.) About an hour or two after we got home, I *did* throw up and the butter from the popcorn like, floated in small golden balls in top of the toilet water. So gross, but I felt better afterward and ended up eating a small TV dinner and some ice cream while we watched Twin Peaks and then around 10pm, I went to bed. I told Blake to keep watching Twin Peaks because I’ve seen the whole thing and I want him to see the whole thing so we can finally watch the movie. I’m wondering if he’s going to be upset with the final episode like I was. I cried for about 45 minutes after it ended it upset me so much. They basically ruined the whole fucking series with that episode and I’ve heard the movie is a big ol’ “fuck you” to the fans as well, so I guess we’ll see.

Last night on Facebook I was sort of counselling two people. One of my friends recently had a laparoscopy and uterine ablation where they not only found and removed endometriosis but they also found that she had adenomyosis which is when they find glandular tissue in the muscle of the uterus which causes extremely painful periods and the only cure is hysterectomy, which is a hard thing for any woman, especially one who’s only in her early 30s. I told her that if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t even question it, I’d rip that fucker out. It’s not like endo where hysterectomy “may” cure the disease (but more often than not it doesn’t), in this case hysterectomy WILL cure the problem so I say rip ‘er. But like I said, it’s a totally hard thing and I suggested she see a grief counselor because that’s essentially what she’ll be going through after it’s all over.

Then another friend was recently diagnosed with a mental illness and she posted a picture of her pill bottles and said that it’s a hard thing to get used to, the dependency on drugs for the rest of your life, and obviously I’ve been there so I started in with my diabetes comparisons etc. It kinda pissed me  off when her sister said “it’s not forever” because um, hello, yes it IS and that’s exactly what my friend was trying to wrap her head around. It sucks that the patient has to always educate everyone else around them. I don’t know if it’s like that with other illnesses or diseases but that seems to be the case with mental illness, or at least that’s been my experience. And then there’s the denial that your family goes through too. My biological father is still going through this, as is his wife. She said to me, “I don’t think you’re bi-POL-ER,” and rolled her eyes when I was first diagnosed like she was some kind of expert in both mental illness and ME, which she is not nor has even been nor will ever be. My mom was more accepting of it because she’s been through it with me my whole life (without a diagnosis) and after I was diagnosed and we read up on what being bipolar meant, everything just clicked that yes, I’ve been experiencing this my entire life. It still took her a while to understand the gravity of the situation though, particularly when I was psychotic and she thought I was “pulling something”.

I just wanted to give my friend some hope that it wouldn’t always be this hard, that pretty soon taking medication every day is just routine and that eventually you’ll start to feel normal. Or at least partially normal.

And speaking of mental illness, I mentioned that I’ll be starting cognitive behavioural therapy in February, which should be interesting. The group is made up of 12 people and the course uses the book Mind Over Mood, which I have. The lady on the phone told me to read the chapter on anxiety. Theoretically they’re going to be sending a cab for me to come get me there and back but we’re going to have to work up to that being okay. The first time or two Blake is going to have to come with me in the cab but ideally after that I should be able to get there by myself. In theory. If I can’t do it then Blake’s going to have to drive me. I’ve already told my boss about this so we can’t schedule any meetings on Thursdays until this class is over or if we do schedule any Thursday meetings, I won’t be able to come and I’ll have to rely on the meeting notes to catch up, which she said was fine. She said we may need to do weekend meetings to compensate, which I’m really hoping isn’t the case because my Saturdays are extremely busy as it is and pausing for an hour or two for a meeting will create a backlog of e-mails that’ll take me forever to climb out of. So I guess we’ll see.

Now Blake’s up so I think we will go out for breakfast since I’m pretty hungry and I don’t really have anything else to say.

Oh! Yes I do! My cards are here from Zazzle and they look REALLY good. The mugs didn’t look very good at all so I removed them from my shop, but the cards look amazing so feel free to buy some! Especially this one since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner! (Also available as a postcard AND you can even get matching US postage!) I’m still waiting on the stickers and buttons, which should be here today, but I’m assuming that since the cards turned out so well, those should as well. I also have it on good authority that the iPhone cases look really nice as evidenced by the fact that I’m selling more of those than anything else to repeat customers, so check ’em out!

And NOW I’m going to go for breakfast! Peace oot!

October 12, 2012

Everything’s Coming Up Millhouse!

So yesterday was a work meeting day. We have meetings with our support staff on Skype once a week just to touch base, talk about issues and learn new things. But they’re also where we sort of get reamed out and told we’re going to get replaced by robots sometimes so all of us pretty much start freaking out right before one is about to happen and yesterday, due to an incident during my Saturday shift, I was pretty positive that not only was I going to get yelled at in front of all my co-workers causing me to cry, I was pretty sure I was going to get fired.

Well that didn’t happen. In fact the opposite of that happened, our main boss just took at as a learning opportunity and it was a really good meeting. We even brought up the fact that we were all scared of him and he said he would do his best to be less scary in the future and that we should all see these meetings as positive things.

So that was good. When it was over I sobbed like a baby with relief because I had been a ball of stress since Saturday, absolutely convinced that this was it and knowing that you have no chance in hell of ever getting another job, well, the stakes are high. But yeah, I didn’t get fired, so yay!

After the meeting, there was a call on the phone, which I of course, ignored, but I watched the number disappear on call display and then the “message waiting” thing came on so I checked the message. My photography class was fucking CANCELLED because not enough people signed up! Son of a bitch!

BUT! I happened to know of another one in Barrie and the MacLaren Art Centre which was on Mondays, so I told Blake about it and he said yes, so I signed up for that one, e-mailed Alex to tell her about it so she could maybe sign up too, and after I got the e-mail confirmations that I’d signed up and paid, I got an e-mail that said, and I quote:

Dear Sunny Crittenden,

 Congratulations! Your work has been selected to hang in the Touched By Fire art show and sale being held on Thursday, November 15, 2012 at Coopers Fine Art Gallery in Toronto. Your work was chosen from 419 entries by a jury of professionals in the field.

So I guess I’m doing that again and this makes me really wonder if I’m done painting or not….I’ve been pretty dead set against in since Squam because I’m completely uninspired but so many people like my work (they just don’t buy it, even when it’s on sale) so I keep thinking maybe I should stick with it. I’m honestly still completely undecided and it’s not like there’s a rush or anything, or that I have any ideas. But I do have all these supplies….

But that’s not even the BEST THING that happened yesterday! You’ll never guess who showed up! Are you ready? AUNT FLOW. For the first time in 15 months, my body is finally healthy enough to fucking menstruate! I’m not having massive cramps, which doesn’t surprise me since the endo’s been dormant over a year, and I know that’s only temporary, but I’ll take it for now. Right now it’s just that brownish spotting you get at the beginning but I’m hoping for full bleed in a couple of days so I can truly feel normal again. It felt good putting “light spotting” in my menstruation calendar app this morning.

AND I woke up to an e-mail from Alex this morning saying that she’s going to sign up for the photography class too and that Ronny’s day off IS Mondays and since Blake’s going to be hanging around Barrie to pick me up from class, he might as well hang out with Ronny during that time, so yay!

Anyway, I’ve decided I’m going to finish watching Downton Abbey, listen to last night’s debate since it repeats at noon and I went to bed early last night and play the Sims all day for no other reason but that I’m done working for the day and I can.

Blake’s working from home today and I’m going to maybe try and convince him he wants to go on the trail with me during his lunch hour. Doot doot.

Oh and Katie wants me to update my “I Almost Died” page with an update about my corrective surgery, which I should probably do too. But I think today’s just going to be a “download day” for the most part. No output. (Unless Blake really will go on the trail with me.)

June 9, 2012

My Askimets

So on WordPress I have this spam filter that I think is called Askimet and every time I log in to make a post, I flush the spam down the toilet before I do anything else but before hitting the flush button, I scan a bit to make sure they’re all spam despite the fact that they always are and always have been, the whole time since I’ve been using WordPress.

The stuff some of them say…it just blows my mind.  Sometimes the comments are so valid to the post it makes you wonder how a bot could come up with such a response just based on filtered words, basically, right? I cleared my spam folder before I started writing this post so I can’t really give you any examples, but I will if I see any particularly good ones. Or maybe I shouldn’t because that’s exactly what they’d want me to do, right? That’s why they write that stuff at all isn’t it? So weird. Sometimes I get like, 300 spam comments in a day.

So yesterday was my big appointment with my surgeon where she was supposed to give me a date for surgery. Well, she basically didn’t, but said it could be mid-July or mid-September and we can work around Squam. I see her again mid-July to talk about it again. She’s getting married and going on her honeymoon between now and when I see her next so she has a life to live too.

I’m having a really hard time with some of her answers to my questions. I asked her how long I was going to be in the hospital. She said 3-5 days. I didn’t say it, but I don’t believe her. In my experience, there’s always SOME reason they want to keep you longer. So I guess when I talk to my boss that’s exactly what I’ll tell her. I think, based on this, that I’m probably going to take a full 2 weeks off while I have the surgery and recover because I know we’ll be okay if I do that (both “we” our family we, and “we” our work we). I dunno, I have to talk to my boss and tell her where things stand now that I have a better idea.

Recovery is 4-6 weeks. First she said 6-8 a few appointments ago but now it’s 4-6 with walking around after 2 days.

I said “How drugged am I going to be?” and she said “Pretty drugged.” They’ll start me out super drugged and taper down as you go. And then she said the “E” word.


I’ve sat with the whole epidural idea for almost 24 hours now so I’m not freaking out as bad as I was before, but I’m still not a huge fan of the idea. They’ll give me an epidural right before surgery I guess and then it’ll stay in the whole time I’m at the hospital and it’ll keep my stomach muscles numb. The alternative is the morphine pump, which I already know makes me sleepy and unable to function so the epidural makes the most sense. And as Blake points out, as far as insertion which scares me the most, is that I’ve been through a hell of a lot worse. Even though I didn’t really remember it until Blake triggered me last night, I had big-assed central IVs in my neck, groin and shoulder/chest area. I had dialysis with big tubes hooked up to those IVs. For 2 weeks. And when they first did it at the first hospital I went to, it took them an hour and a half to get the first one in, which I remember, and it involved LOTS of needles and was my idea of absolute Hell.

They had to stick a 10 inch needle into my back and drain fluid from my lung which was a miserable experience. I cried and a nurse (god I love nurses) held my hand and I could see the needled going into the lung on the ultrasound machine to my right. I wanted to scream but all I did was wimper.

An epidural is a cake walk in comparison to these things. Apparently they freeze the area before they do it so it won’t hurt and it’ll make it a LOT more comfortable with a LOT less of being drugged up, I think. So that’s good.

She said I will have a pee catherter (great…) but not a poo one (yay!). She said if I had to poo I would have to use a commode, which is this portable toilet thing that you go in off the side of your bed. Needless to say, I have no intention of having to poo until day 2 when I can get up and walk my own ass down to my own bathroom, thanks.

I wrote down that she said the surgery itself was “fairly complicated” and that there was “a lot involved but it was not particularly dangerous or difficult”. Those are all good words, I guess, but I’d like to know more, like maybe what the surgery is CALLED so I can at least read about it on Wikipedia or something. I never asked though. :o/

She said that the worse case scenario is that the gall bladder gets taken out and that freaks out the pancreas. If something like that happened, they would have to close me back up and try a different time. That would really really suck so let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Apparently at the hospital there’s a pain management team that I’ll be referred to. So that’s a good thing.

I dunno, the visit was just so overwhelming. It is every time I go there. My surgeon speaks fast and she even walks fast, it’s just really hard to keep up with her.  BUT that’s what makes her a rockstar and that’s who’s going to fix me up and make my body better than it was before. I have faith. 24 hours ago I didn’t, but I do now. I still wish I knew what the surgery was called so maybe Blake could call and ask on Monday or something so I can look it up.

So that was our yesterday.

I weighed myself the day before last and I’ve lost 1.5 lbs, which is good because I had gained 2 lbs so now I’m back to where I was before. I’ve been terrible at eating lately. Just…so many pizza-like snacks and TV dinners have been on sale and I have eaten nothing but garbage the last week. But I’ve been eating less of it, so I think it evens out.

I have not had a pancreatic attack in 2 weeks. And I seem to have the pain under control, like just the every day pain from having your guts all scrambled up, the dull ache my pancreas always seems to have, the back pain from basically having a “pregnant” body shape for a year, the endo pain that I still seem to be having even though I haven’t had a period since the end of July. Technically menopause is absence of a period for one whole calendar year so I guess I’m getting pretty close to that.

The hardest part about all of this is that after Squam and after my surgery, it’s like my life is starting over. I feel like I owe it to the doctors who have participated in saving my life by doing something huge and important but I’m not huge or important. I’m mediocre, normal, small, and I’m all out of ideas. That’s why Squam is going to be so great, I’m going to recharge my batteries and get my head back in the game and hopefully come up with a plan for the rest of my life, or at least the immediate future.

Immersion therapy is going to be at the top of the list. If my new case worker contacts me while I’m recovering and I physically can’t walk wherever it is she wants me to go, then I guess I’ll use that time to get to know her better so I can trust her? I dunno, but I won’t be doing any immersion therapy while I recover. Maybe she can help me get through that Mind Over Mood book that my shrink says is too hard to do yourself. We’ll see.

This morning we tried to do a cache in a parking lot but it was the grand opening of a Shopper’s Drug Mart and we think it might have been a corporately sponsored cache which is dirty pool.  Blake’s awaiting more info on it. I think it was a ploy to get people to come to the Shopper’s opening. Another “we’ll see”.

Well, I don’t have a whole lot to say these days. I’m sorry. I know I’ve kinda been absentee and I know I’m behind on e-mail and FB messages etc but I’ve just been so stressed out about this impending surgery that it’s like I haven’t even been able to move. I do not know what to do with myself these days so I’ve opted for “nothing” and that’s stupid.

So no mas! My shit is currently in process of getting together and once I figure out what to do in the meantime between now and the kidney specialist on the 20th, then in between then and our party and then in between our party and our next appointment with Dr. Hanrahan and then surgery…once I figure out what to do in between all these THINGS, I’ll let you know and hopefully do it. But right now I’m not sure what that is.

Peace oot.

April 4, 2012

Elevator Lady Levitate Me

O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

Not one single ant on my desk today. GREAT SUCCESS! I WON THE WAR! In your FACE Nature!

Now that that’s out  of the way, I bring you (finally) “Menarche”.

Menarche (pronounced “men-ar-kee”, like “men-o-paws”) is a girl’s first menstrual period, which occurs usually around age 13 (that’s the global average).  This painting was inspired by Madison’s menarche experience and not my own. Mine was very negative because it happened very early (age 9) and I didn’t know what was going on, my Aunt Heather had to tell me and since I didn’t want to tell my parents, she provided the pads (I also used my mom’s o.b. tampons sometimes when I was about 11).  Like many girls who started young, I thought there was something very wrong with me when I noticed the spots of bright red blood in my underbums. And that’s the thing with menarche, usually the blood is bright red as opposed to the brownish blood you get as you age.

Yes, that’s glitter.

With Madison’s menarche, I was ready for it having had such a negative experience with my own. I started telling her about periods when she was about 4 years old and the dialogue continues to this day. When Madison came to me one day last year (luckily it was *before* I went into the hospital, I believe it was April) and told me that she thought she was having her first period, I asked her to come into the bathroom and show me her underwear. Lo and behold, there was bright red blood in the crotch of her panties, so I gave her some disposable pads to use and called Blake to pick up more on his way home from work.

That day, I think I made a friends-only or filtered Live Journal post about the event because somehow my friend Deanna knew about it and she contacted me to ask if she could go halves on a Lunapads teen kit for Madison, which I accepted and which Madison has been using ever since. Lunapads are reusable menstrual pads and I think they’re amazing. Since switching to Lunapads myself, I haven’t had any yeast infections which I used to get all the time.

I love my Lunapads and (not that I’m getting periods these days because of medication/being sick) would never give them up, but Madison came to me last night and asked if she could switch to either disposable pads or tampons and while I didn’t tell her this, I was really disappointed in her decision because I thought with starting her off with Lunapads to begin with, I was starting her off “right” and that she would always be period positive and she IS period positive, she just sees it as a fact of life and deals with it but she finds the Lunapads bulky and she thinks disposable pads would be less bulky. She’s absolutely wrong of course, and I told her that, so that’s when she asked about tampons.

I have less of a problem with disposable tampons than I do with disposable pads because tampons, as long as they don’t have an applicator, are nowhere near as bad for the environment as pads are with their plastic liners. Tampons, essentially, are just cotton. They still take a really long time to break down in the environment, but not nearly as long as a disposable pad. My issue with tampons though, is that they cause irritation and for me, they caused bladder and yeast infections roughly every 3 months, not to mention the fact that they made the pain from endometriosis that much worse.

Madison doesn’t have bad cramps or endometriosis so that’s less of an issue, but I did tell her that if she wanted to use tampons, I would be okay with her using o.b. tampons without an applicator as long as she promised to never flush them down the toilet, that they were disposed of properly and that she promised me that she would be very careful about leaving them in too long. The only caveat was that she would have to buy them herself with her own allowance because we already bought her perfectly good Lunapads, disposable tampons are not a necessity they are a luxury.

Having said that, I did offer her another solution: we would buy her a DivaCup. A DivaCup, being an insertable, has all the benefits of a tampon but none of the risks and none of the environmental impact. It is a cup that you put deep inside your vagina which collects the menstrual blood and then when it’s time to change it, you carefully pull it out, empty the blood in the toilet or sink, rinse it and re-insert it. As an added benefit, the DivaCup has no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome, or yeast infections and you only have to empty it every 12 hours so she wouldn’t have to empty it at school, whereas with tampons they should be changed every 4 hours. The DivaCup is also only $34.99 whereas a box of tampons is like, $9 or $10 with tax and you may need more than one box per period. I believe the DivaCup is supposed to last 10 years so compare 3 or 4 DivaCups per lifetime vs a lifetime of tampons and financially the DivaCup is the obvious winner. Healthwise the DivaCup is the obvious winner. Environmentally the DivaCup is the obvious winner. Conveniencewise the DivaCup is the obviously winner. Obviously, she chose the DivaCup option and one will be purchased for her soon.

While initially I was disappointed in her wanting to use disposables from now on, I’m proud of her for not being squicked out about a few tablespoons of period blood and choosing the DivaCup instead of disposable anythings. This shows me that I did start her off in the right direction, even if it were a direction I hadn’t really anticipated. (I didn’t think she’d be comfortable with insertables for quite a while. She’s turning 14 in May.)

So that was last night’s period conversation with Madison. She didn’t want me to name this painting “Madison’s Menarche” but she said I could post all that I just did just to explain why I painted it the way I did. I just wanted it to be bright and shiny and sparkly and happy and “new” feeling, like the beginning of a brand new woman should be.

“Menarche” will be available for sale on my site soon.

Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned earlier in the making of this painting, it’s actually one in a pair but I haven’t even started working on the other one yet so there won’t be pics of it for quite a while. As I also think I said before, it’s going to involve crackle paste though, which I’ve never used before and I’m kind of geeked about.

In other art news, yesterday I edited video I took of me drawing a few weeks ago but I don’t really like how it turned out. The angle is all wrong. The reason I bothered editing it is to show that taping myself drawing or painting “right side up” is pretty much impossible because with that angle, you can’t see what I’m doing because I’m right handed. The only way I could show you how I draw or paint from the left side is if I had the camera around my neck because I work sideways or at a sideways angle all the time and to work straight up and down would feel completely unnatural to me and I doubt I could do it. Anyway, here’s the video:

I kinda think I like making process videos. It’s interesting for me to watch myself because I don’t even really think about what I do, I just do it. I also think, maybe, that a person might be more likely to buy a painting if they can see the process by which it was made. Do you think that might be true too? That’s another reason why I was taking pictures of myself holding finished paintings (which I forgot to do with “Menarche”, oops), it’s like…proof that I made it or something, like a signature. Especially since 1/4 of the time I make something, I forget to sign my name before varnishing and then it’s too late.

I was really good at advertising and marketing when I was in college, probably at the top, or pretty damn close to the top of my class. The guy who thought he was at the top had like, this fucked up rivalry with me that always annoyed me because I’m not really a competitive person, my philosophy is that we’re all in this together and the more we get together, together, together, the more we get together the happier we’ll be. Anyway, he took me out for breakfast this one time and was like “how come you can never come to class yet be so damn good?” and the only answer I had was – well first, that I actually wasn’t that good – that it might just be instinct. The problem though, is that I have extremely low self-esteem with most things, my own work in particular, and I find it incredibly difficult to market myself.  And then I think, because I have such low self-esteem probably, that since I’m unable to market myself well, maybe I wasn’t so great in college either. But then I think of that breakfast and think that no, I’m just crazy and have low self-esteem. I’m also on a lot of drugs and haven’t flexed my advertising muscle in well over a decade so I’m just not the shark I once was. In fact, I can’t remember a single thing from college because I just stopped caring about advertising all together. I know good when I see it and I can make good when I want to, but don’t ask me what the tenets of marketing are because all you’d get from me is a blank stare because that shit’s boring. Instinct is where it’s at.


Today was a dressing change day and I took a pic of my wound for you guys since I haven’t done that since February:

As you can see, there are only 3 little areas left to heal, the two smaller ones are about the size of dimes and the middle part is about the size of a toonie. After those spots are healed, I’m still probably going to have to have a covering over the scar tissue because it’s brand new tissue and as a result it’s very very fragile. Even having it brushing against my clothing would likely reopen the wound.

And I think that’s really all I had to say in this update. Madison got her grad dress today and it is absolutely gorgeous but she’s forbidden me from showing you pictures of it and the only other thing I wanted to share was this article about Madonna’s Truth or Dare, which is out on Blu Ray as of yesterday I believe and which also happens to be on my wishlist if any generous third parties were interested in buying it for me. :o)

That’s all the poop that’s fit to scoop, enjoy the video and have a wonderful evening!

PS. My Oprah tickets came today! That’s the other thing I meant to mention! On the back of them it says you can’t bring STICKS! GLAD I READ THE BACK! BOY WOULD MY FACE HAVE BEEN RED IF I’D HAVE BROUGHT MY STICK!

I’m 72% toward my goal and could really use your support! 

March 27, 2012

The Tale of the Moldy Tampon

If you said “eww” when you first heard about reusable menstrual products, we bring you this: eww by Kotex.

Posted at 4:58 pm in: Endometriosis , Health , Spring , Women
April 27, 2011


My period seems to be making up for the 2 & a half weeks it was late by being extra bloody. I’m soaking through a Lunapad liner about once every 4 hours and this may be a gross TMI thing but the smell of the blood is a lot like the lochia you get after you’ve given birth so now I’m paranoid I’m having a miscarriage. Blake’s had a vasectomy so the chance is pretty low, but still…he theorizes that the new anti-psychotic I’m on wasn’t at peak levels last month so that’s why my period was normal then, but wasn’t this month. I suppose that would make more sense than a miscarriage but I cannot get over how much blood there is. This isn’t normal. But then again it could just be the fact that I’m 2 & a half months late and maybe more blood builds up when that’s the case, I dunno. I’ve been super regular since I had my first period at 9 (well, it started being regular around age 12) so this lateness is just really weird for my brain to absorb.

I’m also having massive hormonal problems right now with little patience for idiots or negative people which is making work especially difficult because we tend to only get e-mails from idiots and complainers. And I don’t think I can blame this all on hormones either, I mean, if you’re just going to come around to be a negative bitch, get the fuck out of my life, y’know? I don’t need you. There seems to be an influx of people like this in my life right now and I’m getting mighty sick of it, especially from people online who only come around to be negative and say negative things. Like, why are you even here? If I’m so flawed and you so disapprove then why are you here? Why are you reading my shit? Does it make you happy to walk around feeling negative all the time, feeling a false sense of superiority? Does being smug keep you warm at night you hypocritical cunts? I suppose if that’s all ya got then I’ll leave you to it, but stay the fuck outta my way or I will mow you down because I’m not taking it anymore.

Yesterday was a really bad, bizarre day. I woke up in an absolute panic due to a nightmare (that I don’t remember now) and the anxiety it caused lasted most of the day. I felt like I had too much electricity in my body and my ears felt like they were pulsing so I took Ativan and Klonopin and gradually as the day wore on my sanity leveled out, but for a while there I was shaking and crying and had to call Blake at work to talk me down. I dunno, it was a really bizarre situation that I’m for sure going to tell my shrink about when I see her next month. It just came out of nowhere. It was also day 1 of my period so it’s possible that it was hormone-related and my shrink told me a long time ago that if a woman is heading toward a psychotic break that it’ll often manifest itself when she’s on her period because the hormones amplify things so maybe it’s the same with anxiety. I’m fine today, despite the fact that I had a nightmare about being carried off to sea in a tsunami this morning, but the memory of that is fading now. I wonder if what I dreamed about yesterday set my anxiety off subconsciously or something? I dunno man, but it was weird and I’m glad it’s over.

I am STILL reading Freedom by Jonathan Franzen and it feels like it’s taking forever to get through this book. It’s amazingly well-written but it’s taken me about 200 pages to care about the characters and actually get into what’s happening. Not that I have though, I think I would consider it a good book, depending on how things end up. It’s definitely the most dense thing I’ve ever tried to read though, like wading through chocolate pudding. Every single sentence is meaty, I’ve never read anything like it. Then again, I’m not the most well-read person on the planet so what do I know? I mean, I read a lot, I always have something on the go, but it’s never like, “fine literature” I don’t think, which is what I guess this book would be. But whatever, now that I’m in the thick of it, I’m liking it very much, I care about the characters, I want to know what’s going to happen next.

Speaking of books…I’ve stopped writing Cammity Jane. I haven’t stopped for good, I just sort of lost momentum with it, but here and there I have snippets of text running through my brain to add to it, which I’ve been writing down in my CJ notebook for when I resume writing it. In the meantime, The Fiction Project is due on May 16th (Madison’s birthday!) and while I have a rough outline of the story I want to tell and the illustrations to go with it, I haven’t written a single word for it yet and I’m having trouble with the middle. I know how it’s going to begin and how it’s going to end and what it’s going to be called, but I don’t know for sure what’s going to take place in the middle yet, so Ronny and Alex are coming over on Saturday to brainstorm with me and then hopefully Saturday night I’ll write the whole story and then (again, hopefully, I haven’t asked them yet) Sunday I want them to come over and help me physically write out the story in the sketchbook the project provided. Then I have 2 weeks to do the illustrations. I paid extra for the project to digitize the book, so when that happens, I’ll of course post about it here.

The Fiction Project is run by the same art gallery that did The Sketchbook Project and A Million Little Pictures and I’ve signed up for The Sketchbook Project 2012. In fact I’ve signed both Blake and I up for it. My theme is simply “Untitled” and Blake’s is “Ask me how I can help” (I think). My artist page can be found here. I finished my camera for A Million Little Pictures (I can’t link to that because they’re building a new site for it but it’s the same idea as The Sketchbook Project; they sent me a disposable camera and I send them back the pictures) on Wild Rumpus Day so that’s done, but Blake still has to finish his before we can get the pics developed. My theme for that was “The Great Adventures of ?” and his was something like “The End of the World”.  I know he’s taken some pics, but I don’t know how many or what they were of. The deadline for that is June 15th, so he still has some time.

I was on the DeSerres website a couple of weeks ago (that’s a CDN art supply company) and found a new scrapbook paper company called Basic Grey that had these fabulous small-print papers that would be perfect for my paintings and I ordered 3 packs, all different, with the hopes of the pink ones not turning orange when I varnished them. Well this morning I finally got around to doing a patch test with them and while they don’t turn AS orange as most of the other papers I’ve tried, they’re still definitely turning orange and that fucking sucks. Hand-dyed papers from Curry’s don’t turn orange but every single scrapbook paper company I’ve tried has turned orange. And I can’t change the kind of varnish I use because I need the triple thick gloss coat to get the maximum glitter effect I get from what I use now. Plus, I’ve tried another brand of varnish and it does the same thing. The only varnish that doesn’t turn them orange is Krylon, which is not paper-friendly (it turns the papers greasy) and Liquitex, which is way too thin and won’t allow me to achieve the effect I get with the glitter. SO, in case anyone ever wondered, that’s why I have very few girls with pink dresses!

While also on the DeSerres website, I decided to buy some Delta CeramCoat paints and I feel like I total traitor because normally I use DecoArt’s Americana line, but Delta had so many more skintones than Americana and, as it turns out, their paint appears to be more highly pigmented than Americana. I’d always avoided CeramCoat because by mom’s always used Americana, she even sold it in her store, and while they definitely have better packaging and more colours, I think I’m a convert as far as skintones go. I haven’t tested every shade I got yet, but so far the results have been really good and I’m glad I made that purchase.

What else?

I’m still kickin’ ass & takin’ names at my job. Not much new to report there other than the fact that I’m getting really good at catching fraud and the bosses are obviously very happy about that. I’m not sure if I mentioned it or not but they hired a new girl who works from like, 5am-1pm which overlaps my shift and she seems okay. Slow to catch on to things at first but she’s getting better now.

We’re under a severe thunderstorm watch right now and I’m really hoping the hydro doesn’t go out because not only would I lose this post, but if it went out I wouldn’t be able to do my job and I would HATE to have to make up the hours on the weekend. I’m already leaving 2 hours early on Friday so we can get to Toronto as early as possible for the Battles show. The club they’re playing at (in?) has seats all along the right-hand side apparently and since this band attracts a lot of geeky guys, I’m afraid I won’t be able to see anything because I’m only 5 feet tall. If I can get one of those seats, I’ll be able to see everything I would think. Doors open at 7pm, but I’m hoping to be there at least half an hour early to get in the line so I can get one of those seats. I have just enough money left over from my paycheque to buy a t-shirt and I’m making Blake buy me a drink or two.

I got a Canada Post notification in my e-mail today that there’s something waiting for me at the post office and I think it’s my new bag so I’m going to send Madison down to get it when she gets home from school. I’m going to have to call Blake  to find out which PO box is actually ours because I honestly have no idea. I thought I had it written down but apparently not. If it’s not my new bag then it’s mulberry paper, but since I got shipping notification on the bag on like, Thursday maybe, I think it’s safe to assume that’s what it is. Before I move all my junk from my old bag to my new bag, I’m going to do a “what’s in your purse?” picture post because I carrying around a really stupid amount of crap around with me because I get paranoid about needing things when I’m out. Like wetnaps. Hand sanitizer. Two cameras. Etc.

Since I’m leaving 2 hours early on Friday, I’m going to have to make that time up for work on the weekend, which sucks, but it’s only an hour a day so it’s not that big of a deal. I’m so lucky to have a job with such flexible hours and understanding bosses. I’m also fortunate in that the girls I work with are also flexible and we all cover each other’s asses.

So I’m not sure if anyone caught it the other day, but it was Blake’s MOM who e-mailed me about the purple mystery flowers in my garden. Someone asked me recently how things were going with her so I thought I’d give a brief update about that: we’re working on things. Blake had a positive experience with her at the funeral for his Aunt this month and so did Madison and I know she’s making efforts with me that are greatly appreciated. We’re not best friends yet, hell, we’re not even Facebook friends, but efforts are being made and bridges are being built and I think that’s something. So to answer my friend’s question: things are going fine. Slowly but surely.

And this post is just a little over 2k words so I suppose I should wrap things up. Long story short, despite having the most wretched period I’ve had in a long time, things are going pretty great. I have a good family, nice friends and I’m not worried about money so I guess I can’t complain.

Happy Wednesday!

March 29, 2011

Me, looking like a bag of crap.

I had to go to the doctor’s this morning to get repeats on my codeine contin (which he raised by 100mg/day) and Tylenol 3 (30mg codeine/300mg acetaminophen) and Naproxen. He lectured me about taking so much Tylenol because it’ll kill my liver, which I’m oh so aware of but I don’t see any alternatives here, which is why he raised my codeine contin. That’ll keep me from having to take so much Tylenol 1 (8mg codeine/300mg acetaminophen, 15mg caffeine) during the month and then I have the Tylenol 3 for when I’m actually on the rag and wanting to kick puppies. So was that clear? He lectured me about taking so much Tylenol and then rx’d me…more Tylenol. I’m not complaining because he did what I wanted him to do, I just thought it was funny.

I have today off because I had to go to the doctor’s this morning at 10:30am (we just got back now and it’s almost noon) when I start work at 10am usually, and then this afternoon is metabolic clinic. But this actually worked out well because I woke up to an e-mail from Belinda asking our boss for Saturday night off because it’s her boyfriend’s birthday. I have to make up my metabolic clinic hours on Saturday anyway (Belinda works nights) and Blake’s gone to Militiagan for another funeral this weekend anyway too, so I said I’d take today off and work Belinda’s shift Saturday night for her. Then I’ll still have Sunday off, which, if I’m working the night before, I’ll probably use to sleep in and then play Sims Medieval all day. So it all works out! I had intended to work from whenever metabolic clinic was over (we usually get home around 3:30 or 4pm) until 6pm, which is when my shift usually ends, but I decided I’m not going to bother and I’ll just make up the hours on Saturday since I’m needed then anyway. That means that I may actually make it to yoga tonight, which is good considering I haven’t actually been in about 4 or 5 weeks because work + metabolic clinic all in one day is too many things for me, so yoga has had to go by the wayside until metabolic clinic is finished on April 5th.

Speaking of yoga, our teacher is pregnated! She already has a toddler, she goes to school for holistic medicine and she has a full-time job on top of teaching yoga, so she’s going to be one busy lady. We’ve signed up for the next session because I’d like to continue once metabolic clinic is over and done with. As I may have mentioned a time or two, I absolutely love yoga and I’m really looking forward to going tonight since it’s been so long. I bet she’s going to make me sweat…

Today at metabolic clinic we’re discussion our addictions. I am 6 days smoke-free and talking about smoking makes me want to have one so I hope they gloss over that and just talk about the addiction part. This is our last real class I think, as next week is our “graduation” and evaluation session. I’m not really sure what that means but I do know that I’m going to need to fill out my module evaluation sheets which I’ve been neglecting to do unless they’ve specifically asked me to do them at the end of class, as they have in some instances.

I’ve been doing the treadmill daily. The first day I did a total of 55 minutes but then the next day I was sore because my shoes are those Sketcher’s Shape Ups so I only did 20 minutes and I’ve only been doing 20 minutes since. In fact, instead of writing this post, I should probably get on the treadmill, especially since I’m at the very tail end of The Virgin Suicides and I’d really like to finish it so I can star Freedom by Jonathan Franzen since that’s Oprah’s current book club pick and I think she’s going to be doing the show about it sometime soon. I’ve never read one of Oprah’s book club picks while the book club was happening before and I’ve always skipped those episodes as a result, but this being her last season I figured I’d give it a shot, especially since I read in Adbusters that my generation doesn’t read enough Jonathan Franzen, so there’s that too. Have any of you read this book? What did you think of it? I don’t even know what it’s about, I haven’t read the back or anything and I know absolutely nothing about the author or his previous works. But whatever, I’m looking forward to cracking the spine on that thick sucker and I love that I got a treadmill with a book stand. Reading while walking is turning out to be something that I really enjoy. The treadmill even has a place for an MP# player to be plugged in and two cup holders that fot a can of Coke Zero perfectly. I’m totally set up!

Yesterday Blake brought me home dirt so when I’m NOT wearing my $200 hockey jersey or going to yoga, I have to start my veggies on the window sill. I have Super Sugar Snap peas, Napoli carrots, Thunder cucumbers, Parade green onions, Golden cherry tomatoes, Sugary cherry tomatoes and Big Beefsteak tomatoes. All I’m going to start inside this week is the cucumbers and all the tomatoes. The peas did fine last year with just being stuck in the garden and hopefully the carrots and onions will do the say. Last year the garden got overrun with weeds and I didn’t know what were weeds and what were vegetables so I couldn’t weed and the carrots and onions never grew. Neither did any of the herbs (that I know of, like I said, I couldn’t tell the difference between them and the weeds). This year I’m going to do herbs in pots on the porch, although part of me is thinking “why bother?” because fresh herbs at the grocery store really aren’t that expensive and we use frozen basil chunks for Blake’s awesome cherry tomato pasta anyway and I think they’re only $2.99 for 20 cubes. (I think he uses 4 in the tomato thing, maybe a bit more.) It just seems like, for the pain in the ass of it, it would just be easier to buy fresh herbs at the grocery store than tend my own.

Blah, I’m babbling. I’m gonna go finish The Virgin Suicides and get on the treadmill. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

PS. Yes I know I need to get my roots done. I was going to go to the new salon here in town to have highlights put in, but I’m broke right now so I bought a box of hair dye today at the pharmacy instead. I’ll go to the salon another time and just get Blake to trim my ends with my awesome art scissors. No big deal.

Okay, to tread I go!

PPS. I can’t go to yoga tonight! We’re playing the Sabres and I have to tweet 100 times about how much I hate Ryan Miller! Curses!

March 16, 2011

Another rainy day.

Why hello there blog friends. How are you today? Me, I’m not doing so well. I seem to have caught a stomach bug and I’ve been barfing and shitting my guts out since Monday. On the plus side, I’ve lost 3 lbs, so there’s that…on top of this illness, the new anti-psychotic my shrink has put me on for sleep has made me have a total lack of appetite and if I force myself to eat, I feel sick. I don’t know if this is a blessing or a curse. If I don’t eat, my metabolism will shit down and start storing everything I DO eat as fat, right? But if I eat, I feel sick, so I dunno.

The kids are off this week for March Break and so far things have been okay. They’re at the library right now getting 2011’s dog tags and won’t be back until around 5pm, they said, so I have the house to myself. Right now I’m working and also working on my angel. I’m currently waiting for her wings to dry. I don’t normally paint my angels’ wings but doing girls of colour is not like doing white girls and when I overpaint the parts I would normally cut off, it shows through the mulberry paper so I have to paint this one’s wings white and then I’ll go over them with a pearlized white so they shimmer. Right now I have so many ideas and so little time and it’s really frustrating the shit out of me.

I’ve been splitting my time between writing the novel I’m working on and this angel and so far things have been going okay with it but I just wish I had more time. Last weekend I finally finished working off the hours I had to take off for Blake’s grama’s funeral so now, theoretically, I get a much needed day off and I absolutely cannot wait. We get the Oprah channel now and all I want to do is watch bad, Oprah-endorsed shows and paint pretty girls. My nights after work have been dedicated to the novel, so I’ve only been working on the angel as I work or on the weekends.

The novel is going well. I don’t really want to write about it all that much for fear I’ll jinx myself and stop working on it but I have a good feeling about it. It’s going to be self-published of course, and I know there’s a stigma attached to that but I don’t want to deal with submitting to publishers and getting rejection letters. Why would I do that when I have my own built-in audience? Plus, I can always submit it to publishers AFTER I’ve self-published it, if I felt so inclined, so that’s the plan.

Right now I’m working on chapter 20, which is about halfway finished.

Metabolic clinic yesterday was the pharmaceuticals module and for the most part it was pretty boring because I look up every drug I take before I take it so there was nothing new for me to learn there. I’ve always been worried about the amount of Tylenol I take because of the endometriosis and the pharmacist told me that liver damage from acetaminophen isn’t cumulative, it doesn’t happen over time, it’s when someone takes 30 or 40 Tylenols at once when liver damage occurs. You’re only supposed to take Tylenol 1’s every 4-6 hours (2), but lately the pain’s been bad enough that I’ve been taking them every 2 hours and sometimes even every hour, so it’s good to know that in doing this, I’m not causing myself permanent liver damage. I mean, it’s not GOOD what I’m doing, of course, but I’m not going to wake up one day and keel over from liver damage. Another thing I was/am worried about is the fact that often after I eat I get bad stomach pains, which could be a stomach bleed from taking so much Naproxen. Blake has to take a day off every time I go to the doctor’s though, which is why I haven’t had it checked out yet. And honestly, without the Naproxen I don’t know how well I’d cope with life so I’m reluctant to tell, the doctor about it at all. I’m probably being stupid. If it gets worse I’ll go to a doctor.

It’s going to be spring soon and I have it on good authority that my seeds should be ordered soon. This year we’re planting carrots, green onions, peas, big tomatoes, regular cherry tomatoes like the ones we grew last year, golden cherry tomatoes and cucumbers (upside down!). For the front garden, which I’ve decided to do this year because Blake thinks a big garden like mine will help sell this house better than a lawn, it’s just going to be several varieties of cosmos and Bachelor’s Buttons, as usual. Nothing fancy. Well, some of the Cosmos are fancy, like these ones, but really I’m only planting the two types of flower. Sunflower Alley is going to be pretty straight forward too with just your standard big sunflowers. Past years I’ve planted all kinds of different varieties of sunflowers but only the big ones seem to come up, so fuck it, that’s all I’m planting this year, especially since, ideally, we won’t be living here to even see them bloom.

Tomorrow is ST. Patrick’s Day (my 6 month anniversary of having this job!) and I’ll be making Jade’s Swiss Potato Soup with fresh biscuits for dinner, pending Blake brings me home a big pot to make it in because I accidentally ruined my old one by trying to put those dried “pulses” (beans, peas etc.) in a stew and they all stuck to the bottom and burned so bad there was no saving it. Here’s Jade’s potato soup recipe, it’s pretty simple and tastes wonderful!

– 2 tbsp butter
– 1/4 cup chopped onion
– 2 cups diced raw potato
– 1 cup boiling water
– 1 tsp salt
– 3 chicken bouillon cubes
– 3 cups milk
– 2 tbsp flour

Melt butter. Saute onions. Add potatoes. water, salt, bouillon cubes. Cover & simmer 10 minutes. Combine milk and flour. Stir into potato mixture. Cook over medium heat. Stir constantly until thickened and boiling.

And voila! Homemade potato soup! I’m going to add chives to it and possibly I’m going to put in leeks instead of onions if Blake can find any. Also I’m using chicken broth instead of cubes and last year I think I just used a whole tetra box of chicken broth and skipped the boiling water.  Anyway, it’s good stuff and if you make it, let me know! Last year we featured it on Buttercup and I know a lot of you made and liked it, so I’m hoping this year you will as well!

Tomorrow is Day 1 of no more smoking. I just opened a fresh pack right now and when I go to bed tonight, the rest of it will be destroyed. I started smoking again on March 1st (my birthday) and it just time to give it up again, this time for always and forever. My throat is sore, I’ve developed a smoker’s cough and I’m getting headaches so it’s just not worth it anymore. So I’m just warning everyone in advance, if I’m bitch, that’s why, but after the 3 days it takes for the nicotine to leave my system, I should be okay again. Luckily this time I only developed the chemical addiction and not the mental habit, so it shouldn’t be as hard to quit as it was last time. Theoretically.

The dogs had their shots last week and the new vet said that they’re both overweight. Hoover definitely is, but I don’t see how she figures Lucky is. Either way, they’re both on diet dog food now so hopefully that’ll help. She also said that their teeth could use some rawhide, so we got them each a bone on Saturday, which they’ve both been enjoying (although Lucky threw up twice after we gave him his). Now that they’ve had their rabies vaccination for the year, they can get their municipal tags, which, as I mentioned, the kids are doing now. Hopefully Madison won’t lose my credit card this time!

Well, I’d better get back to my angel while work is slow. I hope everyone’s day is going well and I’ll probably post tomorrow.

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