I’m so sappy and ridiculously proud of my community both online and meatside right now, I could honestly cry. Thank you so much to my online friends for voting for a town you’ve never been to or maybe even heard of, being a 1700 population town up against a 10,000 population town, we REALLY needed your votes!

Here on the ground, the town had 24 hour voting stations set up at the community centre, the rec centre, a couple of restaurants and the library and everyone was up all night voting, eating together, listening to music and just being a great community.

Here at Sunnyland, Madison and I started voting at noon yesterday and she went to bed this morning around 5:30am, which I made it to about 7:30am. Madison set an alarm to be up for the last hour & a half of voting because once I explained to her about town pride, not unlike the lemon tree episode of The Simspons, she really got into it and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Blake voted from work and again between after dinner and his bedtime yesterday and again this morning.

So what happens next? We have to watch TSN tonight at 6pm EST to see who won. The whole town is gathering somewhere to watch apparently, but I’m not sure where. Probably a few places. We’ll be watching from home.

Anyway, that’s the scoop! Thanks again for everything, you guys are awesome!

So the itty bitty town I live in (population 1700) is in this contest by TSN and Kraft where they could win $25,000 to upgrade our rec centre’s facilities which we are in DESPERATE need of.

How it works is that for the next 24-hours (voting started at noon, my time and ends at noon tomorrow) you can vote for either us (Elmvale) or another town called Brighton (population a lot more than 1700) which I’M TOLD ALREADY HAS A TOWN POOL SO TO HELL WITH THEM and whoever gets the most votes win.

And that’s where you come in. We need your votes! And the beauty of it, my lovely internet-addicted friends? Is that you can vote AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT between now and noon tomorrow. As long as you’re not voting by mechanical means (prevented by a captcha), you can vote as many times as you possibly can and WE NEED YOUR VOTES!

So please, vote once, vote twice, vote a million times! Our community deserves it.

Thanks in advance! I’ll update everyone on if we won or not after the contest is over. :o) GO VOTE! VOTE VOTE VOTE!

It truly is the perfect food. Well, “junk” food. I think I read somewhere that dark chocolate like, boosts your endorphins or dopamine something and that’s a good thing. All I know is that I love it, especially late at night when it’s hot and humid and I don’t want to go to bed yet because tomorrow’s going to be even hotter and more humid, so I need to use the night to get work done.

I’m taking an art class right now that is so fucking awesome that I honestly couldn’t be happier. My brain is exploding with ideas and I’m frustrated that my hands don’t work as fast as I’d like them to and paint doesn’t dry as fast as I’d like it to. I just want all of this creative energy out of me and into the world! I want to paint a million paintings and have them in homes all across the world! I’m close to that, which I should be proud of, my paintings are all over the US, a few in the UK and one – ONE! – in my homeland of Canada! If I could get one to Australia and Japan, I would feel immensely successful.

I’m still undecided about The Square Foot Show. Like, whether or not I’m going to do it. Blake says I should at least submit and be part of the show, but not commit to actually being at the artist’s gala bullshit thing that I totally do not want to do. Like, in the slightest. I barely made it through my friend’s wedding last weekend, I don’t know if I can deal with a bunch of Toronto strangers.

I guess we’ll see how it goes.

Oh one more thing about art before I switch topics: my art teacher? Totally awesome. I e-mailed her, asking if she could teach me how to shade people of colour because I learned how to shade my girls in a very specific, Caucasian way and I don’t know how to adapt that method to work for darker complexions. Shading is just something that doesn’t come naturally to me at ALL. So she e-mailed me back, actually really excited about the idea of darker complexions and said that in week 3 of the course, she’ll put up an extra video (it’s an online art class btw), teaching us exactly what I asked for: how to shade people of colour. I AM SO STOKED. I have had a billion ideas for girls of different ethnicities as it’s one of my goals in my artist’s statement to express Canada’s multiculturalism, but until now I haven’t been able to and it’s been making me CRAZY! Learning how to do this thing may be the difference between me getting a $5000 arts grant in the spring and not getting a $5000 arts grant in the spring. The same goes for The Stupid Square Foot Show.

So that’s art right now.

But let’s talk about yoga. Oh my god people, I LOVE yoga and I am in a continuous state of SHOCK that I love yoga. I literally failed gym class every year of my life. I can scan my report cards and prove it if you don’t believe me, it was pathetic. (How do you fail gym class? By not showing up, my faking injury or illness, by having a doctor who didn’t mind writing notes, getting kicked OUT of gym class for calling your gym teacher things you’re now too ashamed to admit you said…)

Anyway, yoga. It just works with me, it clicks, I can’t explain it. I feel both relaxed AND energized (and SORE!) after every class, it’s like I’m full of this weird energy or something. My teacher knows I’ve never done yoga before so in the beginning she took it easy on me but as we’ve gone along (I’ve only been going for 5 weeks), she’s been going harder on us and I think she’s a little surprised that I’m keeping up and practically begging for more.

I’m not very strong yet, but I am naturally flexible, so I’m better at some things than others. Like today we did pigeon pose and I rocked the shit out of it because my legs are super bendy and I sit like a freak all day in my computer chair anyway, pigeon was a cakewalk. But plank? Oh my holy lord do I fucking hate plank! My arms and upper body just aren’t strong enough to do plank-like things, like these crazy bitch push ups she made us do a few weeks ago? My god I was dripping with sweat and was sore for a full week afterward – BUT IN A TOTALLY GOOD WAY.

Honestly, I wish we could go twice a week, but we don’t have the money to do that and I think her classes are all full because her studio only fits 5 or 6 people right now. She’s planning on expanding, but I don’t know when that’s going to happen.

ANYWAY…*deep breath*, it is 3:34am and I think I have just enough energy left to get the paining I’m working on into the final steps of being finished. So I’m going to go do that and wish you all a happy tomorrow. :o)

So obviously Alex & Ronny got married yesterday. The event was very small and low-key and Alex looked beautiful. She wore this (in cream) with this underneath, which I’m linking because I took very few pictures and none of her dress. (There were like, 5 other people taking pictures with prosumer cameras, all of which I’m sure will be posted on Facebook and when they are, I’ll snag a few to show you guys, if that’s okay with the bride & groom [ which it probably will be].)

Anyway, it was a lovely event, Madison caught the bouquet, the guy who married them was a steampunk Asian with a fauxhawk and the whole thing couldn’t have been more perfect being exactly what they wanted. And as I said, when better pics are available, I’ll share them with Alex & Ronny’s permission.

Here are the pics I did take, though:

This was their wedding cake. Did I mention that Alex & Ronny met randomly playing WoW?
We were looking for people to sign our guild charter and “Trueblade”, a nelf warrior, was randomly hanging out in Darnassus and said he would and he was in the guild for the rest of the time the guild existed.

Alex was a nelf hunter so that’s what her figurine is, but they wouldn’t find a nelf warrior so they had to get a druid.

Wedding shots, courtesy of the restaurant. I forget what this one was called, but the others were “polar bears”.

I love Alex’s expression in this picture. It’s the kind of expression you can only give toward someone you love immensely, does that make sense?

Anyway, that’s all the pics I took. To be mushy for a minute…I am so absolutely happy for the two of them it feels like my heart might burst out of my chest just thinking about it. They’ve been doing the long distance thing for like, 3 years and now that’s come to an end, Ronny is here, they’re married and he can apply for his permanent resident card now. Everything’s falling into place so they can finally start their lives together and I just think that’s great.

I’m also a little selfish in all of this in that Ronny drives and has a car, which theoretically means that we’ll be seeing more of them and that’s a good thing because I love them.

And that is all.

So Alex & Ronny are married now and that’s pretty cool. They got married in a funeral home because that’s where Alex works and they have like, a banquet hall type of thing there.

It was a very small wedding and Blake, myself and the kids sat up front on “the bride’s side” so we could sign the marriage certificate when it came time to do that. We were honoured to be asked and gladly obliged and it was a lovely little event, followed by picture-taking and beer/Coke at a wings place afterward.

It took everything in my being to not completely come apart. I took 3 Ativans throughout and not to take anything away from their day or anything, but I was miserable. I don’t “mingle”, I don’t make “small talk” and the whole time we were there I just wanted to lose my shit completely. I wanted to go home right after the wedding but Blake said we had to go to the wings place which then meant we had to stick around for the pictures in between and I don’t know how Ronny & Alex felt throughout the whole thing, considering they both have issues similar to mine, but I wanted to crawl out of my skin and slither home through the sewers.

And dinner was….I hate chicken wings. Passionately. And that’s all this place served except for salads (that I’m not paying $8.99 for) and chicken fingers. I hate chicken fingers too, but that’s what I had and now I feel like throwing up despite taking 2 Gravols to quell the nausea.

And again, I’m happy for Ronny & Alex and I was happy to be there for them and stand up for them basically at their wedding and nothing in this post has anything to really do with them, it has to do with me and my issues. And based on how today went and how I felt all day (I came home and just bawled and that’s what I’m still doing now) I came to a decision: I will not be doing The Square Foot Show.

I know, I already paid my admittance fee, I bought my dress for it, jewelry for it, I’ve been working on paintings specifically for it but the fact of the matter is I just can’t do it. I just can’t be in a small space full of strangers. I don’t “mingle”. I can’t make “small talk”. There is no reason for me to be there other than to torture myself.

Touched By Fire was different. It’s put on by The Mood Disorders Association of Ontario so every stranger in that show was either mentally ill or worked with/knew someone who is. If I needed to sit in a corner and just be for a little while, that would have been okay. If I needed to leave, that would have been okay. When I couldn’t speak to the people who wanted me to do a commission, they understood when Blake spoke for me.

This is not so for Square Foot.

At Square Foot the whole point of the show is to mingle and network and schmooze and have your work seen. And I just can’t do it. Blake would have to take a day off to take my paintings down there, we’d have to get Ronny & Alex to babysit to go to the event and then if I didn’t sell all 3 of my entries, which I probably wouldn’t, Blake would have to take a day off work to go pick them up.

And they’re selling each piece for like, $224, but the gallery keeps half. Even if I sell all 3, I’m totally ripping myself off and after gas and everything, I might as well give the paintings away. And that’s IF I sell them all.

And why am I even doing this show? Because The Ontario Arts Council only seems to consider you a “professional” artist if your work’s seen n galleries and I think that’s bullshit. And why should I care what they think? Because they’re the ones who give out the $5k grant I’ve been turned down for two years in a row. And they consider their ROI to be gallery showings, that’s what they want your goal to be.

Well guess what? I don’t want my shit in galleries. Galleries that take half my money and tie up my inventory? Galleries that may expect me to mingle and make small talk and schmooze? I don’t want that world. And it’s not even so much that I don’t want it it’s that I can’t have it. Unfortunately it doesn’t work within the parameters of my issues and I kinda think the whole system is bullshit.  Or what little I know of it, I do.

So what will I write in my grant application in the fall? Well, more or less what I’ve written here, I think. That my goal is not to be a gallery artist, my goal is to create a self-sustaining art business instead. I pretty much have that now, I sell enough to keep me in supplies, to keep me creating, but that grant would allow me to expand, buy better quality materials, advertise. And if they still don’t want me, then that’ll be the last time I apply. My mom was told for years and years and years that what she did wasn’t art and she was rejected by the traditional art world and she’s doing okay. I’ll be fine. There are other ways to succeed and success is only how you define it anyway. In my goals for this year, I’ve been immensely successful, so there ya go.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. If I can’t hack it at my best friend’s wedding and I fall apart the second I get home, then I can’t do this show where the complications of today are blown up twenty-fold.

It’s just not in the cards.

As I mentioned a few days ago, Willowing/Tam is having an online art class called World of Whimsy 2, where she’ll show you how to make and shade pretty girls, as well as animals, and show you how to make mixed media backgrounds. She’s also going to cover basic things like composition, layout, layering and embellishments. It’s going to be a great class!

It starts on Monday, runs for 6 weeks and is roughly $85 US/$93 CAD.

I signed up last night and I’m really looking forward to Monday. Along with the class, which is comprised of videos and PDF files, you get Tam’s attention and the ability to ask her questions and get critiques of your work.

As I said in my original post on the subject, Tam is a really great teacher and a wonderful artist, so if you think taking an online class is for you, then this is probably the one to take.

You can sign up/learn more here.

Have a great weekend!
(Alex & Ronny get married tomorrow, I’m so excited!!!!! SO that’s what we’re doing this weekend. :o))

Oooooh my god I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now that I can’t even begin to process them all unless I start writing shit down, so that’s what I’m going to do. It’s been a busy, happy (mostly) few days so I guess I’ll sort everything by day, starting with Thursday night.

Thursday night I was playing WoW with my friends Stephy & Keenan and eating Crispers when I lost a filling. I have nightmares regularly about this very thing and while I anted to freak out, I stayed mostly calm, especially because our dentist is awesome and I was pretty sure I could get it fixed, if only temporarily, the next day. Plus, it didn’t hurt. Still, when I got into bed I woke Blake up and freaked out a little bit, but not as badly as I would have in the past and then I went to sleep.

Friday morning Blake told me that our dentist could see me in the afternoon, after my shrink appointment, so yay.

My shrink appointment didn’t go as planned. See, the thing is, I only see my shrink once a month or sometimes once every 3 months, so she doesn’t always remember things about me or what we talked about last session. Plus, she’s sometimes quite a bitch, but despite that I mostly like her. It’s not her fault she has like, 500+ patients and at the mental health clinic I go to, where she works 2 days a week, she gets paid peanuts compared to her private practice and probably has more clients, all of whom she usually sees once a month. I’ve been in the waiting room with a lot of her patients and believe me, I’m definitely low priority and to me, that’s a good thing.

Anyway, I was excited to tell her about doing yoga because yoga is a huge deal for me in terms of social awkwardness and agoraphobia in general. A year ago I couldn’t do this. Two years ago, this would have been an impossibility. I expected my shrink to be like, “yay you!” but when I told her she wasn’t really that enthused about it and that wasn’t the reaction I was going for. She was more amused, I think, that Blake was doing it – omg a MAN doing yoga, imagine! – than me and that kinda bummed me out.

Then I thought she might be happy that I still haven’t smoked since April 23rd, but she didn’t seem to care about that either.

So the next thing I wanted to talk to her about, or at least make her aware of, is that article about picky eating adults I linked in Live Journal the other day and how researchers are thinking it might actually be a disorder and that they were doing a study on it, which I signed up for. So she read the article, which I’d printed out for her, and the whole time she had a kind of smirk on her face like she was trying not to laugh and when she was finished, she said that she didn’t believe it was a disorder. (She spent about a minute 30 seconds skimming the article, I might add.) Then Blake and I started telling her about all of my issues with food, which are actually pretty immense when you lay them all out and I think I’m going to write a page about it on my site sometime soon because maybe it would be interesting to other people, but anyway we told her about ho sometimes it takes literally 2 hours to decide what to have for dinner and then in the end I usually end up eating something separate from the family anyway and after laying it all out on the table, she looks me dead in the eye and says, “is it possible that you’re just a spoiled brat?”

I had no idea how to respond to that. This is my shrink. This is the person who’s supposed to help me with my issues and help me figure out how to live with them or fix them and here she is completely invalidating what Blake and I spent the last 10 minutes trying to explain? I mean basically what we were saying is that we think I have OCD and that it manifests itself with food. Y’know how some people with OCD are germaphobes? Well I’m pretty much a foodaphobe in a very similar way and she asked me that? What kind of bedside manner is that? That’s bullshit. Your shrink isn’t supposed to CALL YOU NAMES.

And what really kills me about this shrink in particular is that when I first started seeing her, almost  years ago now, I told her “hey I sleep ’til 1pm and work at night and smoke and live a really weird life”, she said “that’s okay. It’s your life and you have the right to live it how you want to.” And she stuck with that for like, the first year, but after that she started trying to change me or openly disagreeing with how I live my life. She thinks I should go to bed at 11 or 12 and get up early in the morning all of a sudden. Most of the time I actually DO do that but it’s the principle of it, she told me before that I could sleep however I wanted to as long as I was getting enough of it.

And then there was the one time where I walked into her office and like, almost the first thing she said to me is, “why don’t you get a job?” Like lady, have you not been listening for the past few years? Do you not remember my issues? That was the most asinine suggestion I’ve ever heard in my whole entire life. I’m not offended by people thinking I’m whatever because I don’t have a 9-5, I don’t expect people to understand my life and I don’t care, but SHE SHOULD because I’ve (we’ve) spent hours upon hours explaining to her how we are, how we live, how life is, and she just doesn’t pay attention or listen or write the right things down.

And by the way, I have a job, thank you. I have several. I’m an artist. I’m a camgirl. (A bad one at the moment, but whatever.) Those two things are what I do to bring in money so my kids can have the things they want, which brings me to my other job, being their mom. They LIKE that I’m always home and that I’m always there for them. Our family is extremely close and that’s the way we like it and a lot of that has to do with the fact that 85% of the time, I am completely available for whatever they need. So fuck you and your “get a job” crap. I’m all full up. It pissed me off when people negate being a stay at home mom as a job. That’s fucking bullshit, especially considering the fact that I also work from home at the same time.

Anyway, she pissed me of with the accusation that I as a “spoiled brat” and after she said that, I sort of shut down and stopped participating in the conversation, but I guess Blake explained things to her and she conceded that I probably have OCD tendencies but that I wouldn’t like the main treatment (exposure, which wouldn’t work in this case anyway, if you read the stories on PickyEatingAdults.com) and I couldn’t have the other treatment which is high doses of anti-depressants because they would make me manic. So we all concluded that the best thing to do is to just continue trying to work around it since I’m not exactly starving and Blake can deal with it with me. And really, I’m getting better. Not with food, I’m still a wreck over food, but I’ve been actively trying to make things easier on Blake when it comes to my stupid idiosyncrasies.

So after my shrink appointment we came home for a while and then it was time to go to the dentist where I got a temporary filling and I have to go back this Thursday for the real thing. I hate when the assistant dentist girl tells the secretary that they’ll need 40 minutes for me. :o/

But that’s a milestone in and of itself. I have had a lifelong fear of dentists but I’ve been really lucky to have two really good ones the last several years, especially the one I see now, and now it’s really no big deal because I know after the needle part, I’m good. The dentist I see now is really gentle and understanding and I’m really going to miss him when/if we move or when/if he retires. (He’s kinda old, but I don’t know how old. He’s spoken of retiring while I’ve been in the chair so I know it’s on his mind. Oh yeah, and he’s the only dentist in town.)

After the dentist I had a much needed nap and when I woke up, we went to Wal*Mart to get Madison a new bathing suit and flip-flops because hers were fuX0red and last year’s bathing suit wasn’t fitting so well. So we did that and while we were there, Wes said that he wished he could have a Zhu Zhu pet, which is a mechanical hamster that makes sounds and runs around on the floor and is about $10.

We went to the toy aisle after getting Madison situated and I looked at these mechanical hamsters and when I saw one that was pink, I was sold. I told Wes I would buy him one but that he couldn’t have it until he earned it by doing basic chores around the house. He was good with this, so we put two of them in the cart, one for him and one for me, so we could play with them together just as I played with Tamagotchis with Madison at around the same age.

I also picked up the new “Hole” album, Nobody’s Daughter, which is really a Courtney Love album that she decided to brand as being Hole for reasons I can’t even comprehend. I wasn’t going to buy the album out of principle but then my completest nature too over and suddenly I had to have it. Also I watched Courtney’s “Behind the Music” the night before and that made me want the album. (Have I ever mentioned how goddamn susceptible I am to advertising?)

I also bought two spiral notebooks because my current one is almost full and they were on sale for $3 a piece for the big fat ones, so score! And I also bought new underwear because my bum is no longer a large (it hasn’t been for quite some time, but I haven’t had any money) and is now a medium to small – w00t! I just grabbed a 3-pack of Hanes Her Way bikini underbums because ideally I’m going to be needing to buy smalls eventually.

I know, you totally care. We also bought shampoo, how exciting!

When we got home, I opened my Zhu Zhu pet to see what it did and then I started listening to Nobody’s Daughter, which I expected to hate but I’ve gotta say it’s actually growing on me, or at least some tracks. I think it’s better than the abysmal America’s Sweetheart, but only by a fraction. This may sound kind of weird, but America’ Sweetheart was kinda contrived while Nobody’s Daughter feels more honest. What I mean is that Live Through This was about Courtney’s Life, more or less, as was Celebrity Skin because that’s when she was going through her Hollywood phase. During America’ Sweetheart she was completely fucked up on drugs from crack to coke and getting hauled off to Bellevue because she was out of her mind and hardly any of that is present on America’s Sweetheart. Nobody’s Daughter is very much a comeback album and what she went through to get here, I think, what she learned along the way. (I think certain songs might be about people she met in rehab and some of it is definitely what she discovered about herself through therapy.)

Anyway, I won’t lie, I kinda like it – so shoot me. (But I still refuse to call it a Hole album because it’s not. Certain songs are VERY Hole-esque, but it’s just not Hole.)

So as I’m listening to the album for about the 3rd time, I’m reading my Facebook feed and one of my friends posted that he was going to the Courtney Love show the next day and I was like “WHAT????? HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS????” and immediately I was upset that I couldn’t go because I was sure it was either sold out or we couldn’t afford the INSANE $50 ticket price, which was a shame because on Saturday, the night of the show, we were celebrating our anniversary by going to get ribs and strawberry pie like we do every year and thus, we had a babysitter (two of them in fact!) and could conceivably go.

I sulked hardcore and tweeted about it several times, trying to figure out a way we could go. I have two paycheques coming any day now (well one is) and Blake said he could lend me the money for us to go and I could pay him back with that but the cheque is only for $200 and change and I need that money for the kids for the summer so I didn’t want to blow half of it on this show.

But just as I was considering it, Saturday morning, my friend Heatha messaged me and was like, “hey I can give you a deposit on the painting I want to buy so you can go to the show” and I was like “fuck YES” and that’s what happened. The deposit was exactly enough to pay for the tickets, parking and if we added $10, which I did, get a tour t-shirt.

Before I get into the show though, first and foremost Blake and I were celebrating our 8 year wedding anniversary by going to Haugen’s for the best ribs and fresh strawberry pie in the world, stopping in Greenbank where I grew up, to the bakery there where we bought the best garlic cheese bread in the world, as well as some pretty kickass ginger cookies.

Voila:

Normally we get a whole strawberry pie to bring home with us and share with the kids, but we didn’t this time because we were going to the Courtney Love show afterward and we didn’t think it would keep well in the trunk of the car that long. Plus, we were trying to be as frugal as possible because really, we can’t afford to celebrate our anniversary, but it’s important to us so we do it anyway.

I slept all the way from Haugen’s to the venue and since we were early, I continued to sleep in the car until the lineup to get in was considerably smaller and after fixing my makeup we got in line. Security confiscated my PENS! I had 3 BRAND NEW Pilot Precise V5s in my bag, which are kind of expensive as far as disposable pens go, and they confiscated them because of graffiti. I didn’t protest because I know there’s no point in doing that in situations like this, but man, that sucked. Plus you’d have to have a lot of time and be really dedicated to tag the bathroom with one of those.

The security chick was like, “after the show just come out and I’ll give them back to you” and I thought “yeah right”. And of course after the show, those security guards were nowhere to be found.

Anyway, the show. The show was pretty awesome and I can’t help but love Courtney Love. I’m sorry, I know some of you hate her guts and don’t get why I like her so much, but whatever, she was great. Here’s a review of the show, which I agree with. Her voice was different than usual (I’ve seen her as the REAL Hole twice before), even different than on the album, and I noticed that her annunciation was different too and actually very Jagger-esque. She belted out tunes old and new and the audience sang along to a lot of it and all in all it was just a really great show. (Well, except that she sang Doll Parts, which is the worst Hole song, imo.)

We started off in the “pit”, which was full of little girls like me when we started, and we were about 3 people back from the barriers but when it got closer to Courtney coming on, all these goddamn Amazons pushed and shoved their way in front of all of us and when Courtney came out, the “pit” went fucking mental (as to be expected). We stayed in there for the first 3 songs but when the girl to my left threw her totally full beer into the air all over the crowd and the woman to my right started literally punching people, I decided it was time to get the fuck out, so I grabbed Blake’s hand and we watched the rest of the show from the back where it was cooler and I could actually have a drink.

Luckily, being a primarily female audience and not a very tall one, I could actually see Courtney from the back from the waist up and the sound at the venue is actually really good so I was happy with our position, except when 6 foot tall dickheads decided to stand right in front of me. Repeatedly. I was a 6 foot tall dickhead magnet, I don’t know why. Luckily they never stayed in front of me very long and the back was sparse enough for me to move around so I could see better.

When we first arrived at the show I went to the bathroom and it was totally clean. When Courtney finished her encore I went to the bathroom again and it was absolutely trashed. The men reading this may or may not know this, but in most womens’ public bathrooms, to the right of the toilet, is a receptacle for used menstrual products. When I went to the bathroom at the end of the show I checked every available stall and I swear to god that every girl in the whole venue was on the rag but me. These receptacles were so full that all around them on the floor were used pads and tampons. It was beyond disgusting and made worse by the fact that the floor was all wet for some reason in the whole bathroom, which made the tampons bulk up. SO GROSS.

After the show, we went home and hung out with Ronny & Alex for about half an hour, then they went home and we went to bed and now it’s Sunday afternoon and I’m writing this post.

The only thing I have left to say is that Ronny now lives in Canada (he’s from MI) because he and Alex are getting married on Saturday and he brought me Vanilla Coke Zero, Cherry Coke Zero, Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and Cherry Dr. Pepper, none of which we have in Canada because….I dunno, we fucking suck. I just had a can of Vanilla Coke Zero and just about had an orgasm on the spot. When they discontinued regular Vanilla Coke up here I was so upset because I LOVED it and when Ronny told me that they had Vanilla Coke Zero in the US I was like “that’s it, we’re moving” so that’s why he brought these all up.

Right now I’m drinking a can of Cherry Coke Zero and I actually think it might be better than the vanilla.

Oh and one more thing: I got the most BEAUTIFUL wedding invitation from our friends Alicia and Tim in Georgia that blew me away on Friday and I wish so badly that we could afford for all of us to go because those two actually kinda met through me and I’d really like to see them become husband and wife. Alas, financially it would be an impossibility, but I hope they know I’m there in spirit. (And I think they should totally webcast it…*cough*)

Anyway, that is all. Have a great week everyone!

“I have a lifetime of writing. I have a lifetime of depicting everyone honestly without changing names. Your view is also mine. The idea that it is my obligation to hide or otherwise excuse bad behavior is absurd.”

- Robert Peate

Here’s some context.

This is my sign. Blake screwed it to the outer wall of our house, right beside the “front” door, so that everyone who enters will know the deal.

Before it was put in place, I asked Blake, “do you agree with it?” and he said “absolutely”.

After it was put in place, Madison read it and said she liked it. I said to her, “but do you agree with it?” and she said, “yes, even though I probably do a lot of shitty things that you write about”, to which I replied, “not really” because there was only one shitty thing she’s done so far that I found was worth writing about and I made it a friends only post on LJ. (She stole a necklace of mine that my grama gave to me which my grampa, now dead, gave to her, that had a HUGE crystal pendant and then some kid stole it out of her desk so now it’s lost forever.) Anyway, she & I agreed that that was probably the shittiest thing she’s ever done.

Anyway, if you’ve been reading my site for any length of time, you’ve probably seen me say what’s on this sign multiple times because it’s true. I write about pretty much everything that happens in my life, or at least the important stuff and often times, “the important stuff” is the shitty things people do. I can’t say that I write about all of these things publicly all the time, but they are usually written about either on my site, my LJ (publicly or friends only) or my paper journal, but usually online in some way, shape or form. That’s just what I do. That’s what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years of my life and if you have a problem with it, don’t be in my life. It’s really that simple. And really, is it so hard to be a decent person who doesn’t do shitty things? Because if that’s difficult for you, we probably don’t want you in our lives anyway. And that is a sentiment shared by everyone in the Sunny, Blake, Madison & Wes Crittenden family. I know this because I ASKED.

So that’s my sign. Probably the first of many. As I pointed out to Blake, I am now the crazy neighbour who makes signs. :oD So be it.

Have some Scratching Post. :o)

(Fun Fact: On The Mike Bullard Show (last clip), I showed my underwear on national television. :o))

Anyway, these clips are not in chronological order. The official videos are, but the live stuff isn’t. I was digging all of these up to show Madison when she woke up, in honour of Canada Day so I thought I’d share. Enjoy!