December 4, 2014

No and I don’t know.

Yesterday was Touched By Fire.

I finished work at noon and had between then and 3:30pm to roll enough joints for the night, figure out where to eat, co-ordinate all this with my mom and get myself ready, which not only often involves multiple wardrobe changes, but more importantly, well-timed pharmaceuticals, and I was freaking at twelve-oh-one because I didn’t know where to start. I started by rolling joints and listening to bad hip hop because medication of all kinds is the most important thing to not leave the house with and I’ve been known to take a VERY long time to do this, even with a rolling machine, so yeah, started there. As I got to about my 2nd (of a planned 5) joint, Blake got home with lunch from Fresh-A-Fare, which I had really really wanted when I asked him to bring it home half an hour prior, but since I hadn’t had a ton of time to actually medicate between then and when he got home, my stomach just wasn’t ready for it so we ended up leaving it in the fridge for Wes for dinner if he wanted it, which he would because it was a ham and cheese sandwich and turkey with wild rice soup and he eats like me, so he’d be all about it.

As Blake ate and I rolled, we watched Once Upon a Story in Wonderland because it’s free on this trial Netflix type deal we have right now, and when the episode was over, Blake went to the bathroom to start getting read and I so, so stupidly checked e-mail and Facebook. And that is how I learned that my friend, Jeff Depew, the drummer from Scratching Post, had passed away. As some of you know, I was sort of the band’s first unofficial mascot/panty girl/merch bitch who did a lot of touring with them and became very good friends with everyone involved. I was/am shocked and saddened by the news of Jeff’s passing and however it happened, it is my hope that it was peaceful. I found out at around 2:30pm and had to be out the door at 3:30pm. At first I almost didn’t go. Just didn’t feel like partying or having a good time or being social. Then I almost went in overalls, which in hindsight I probably should have, it’s what I’d originally wanted to wear, but I settled on the same thing I wore on our attempt to see Book of Mormon, which had been thwarted by a blizzard so the outfit had never been seen before.

It took me half an hour to do my makeup because makeup won’t stick to tears, no matter how much primer you try to use. I’m a very simple lipstick-top-lid-eyeliner-one colour of shadow-mascara kinda gal. Makeup usually takes 10 mins, tops.

Anyway, traffic was hellacious and it was becoming apparent that we’d be late, so I texted my mom who said they were running late too, which I figured because that’s how my mother rolls. We get to the parking lot and it’s 100 km away from the restaurant we were meeting at and it’s blowing snow and I’m in a skirt. That walk made me so unhappy, especially since at the time my mother kept texting me from the restaurant about stuff as I’m trying not to get hit by cars or drop my phone or get it wet. Finally I literally told her to “stfu lol” and eventually we got to the restaurant.

We went to this St. Louis Grill place that I don’t think I’d ever bother with again unless I had to. Typical chain, with tiny across-from-Skydome Toronto portions and prices. I did eat a piece of macaroni and cheese wrapped in bacon and deep-fried that was pretty wonderful but I forgot to bring enzymes with me and really really should not be eating something like that anyway.

After eating, we went to the show. I went there. I saw that my painting was in the very back corner in the dark where it belonged. I looked at everyone else’s stuff, some good, some not so good but overall WAY better selections than previous years, then I parked my ass at the bar where I could see people looking at my painting (but turned my back to it because I couldn’t look) and see when they did the speeches. Speeches were uneventful except that this year there were prizes and our old friend from town here, Brian, won an honourable mention in his category and his girlfriend won best of show for her category.

After the speeches and awards and stuff, the place cleared out pretty fast. It wasn’t like previous years at all. See, something happened. I don’t know what but last fall there was some drama surrounding the show and suddenly touchedbyfire.CA was NOT the place to go, but touchedbyfire.CO and there was a mad scramble to get sponsors and find a space. It seemed like too much drama for me so I didn’t enter. This year it was run with the same group as last year and I noticed a lot of familiar artist faces missing, which seemed odd to me. I mean, this show has its regulars and I didn’t see two of its most prominent ones represented there last night. The bust for Rebecca Burkhardt, the person in whose remembrance this event takes place, was also missing, or at least I didn’t see it anywhere. Her dad was there though.

Before we left the show, Blake and John went around the room to see if anything had sold and only 2 things had, one being the most inexpensive piece in the show.

While the quality of work this year was definitely better, the experience wasn’t. There was no printed catalogue, which is really the only reason I go, just printed postcards with instructions for people to use their phones to take pictures of the QR codes beneath them or whatever they’re called, to pull up basically this page. That makes sense for the paintings being up in the gallery for a month but the show should have had a printed catalogue, especially since if I sell my piece, I’m giving them 20% and I want certain things, like show catalogues, for them to deserve that 20%. There were also no name tags for artists which was a mixed blessing. Every other year I turn mine around as not to be identified but this year I was trying to get up the courage to actually speak to people, to sell that damn thing, and them approaching me first would have been better.

The show’s been running 8 years, my first time was the 2nd year and I think I’ve been in it a total of 5 times. Last night marked only the 2nd time I’d submitted anything that was actually for sale and I really really need to sell this piece or make money from it somehow, in order to complete my next project before I get frustrated by money and logistics that I give up.

Anyway, here’s my painting and what I wore and how far away I was away from my painting at all times. THE END.

PS. I also invited my brother and his girlfriend to dinner and the show but he never even replied. I have no idea why, I haven’t done anything to him and we haven’t had a fight, so wtf? This hurts me a lot more than it should and was on my mind all night.

PPS. If you want to buy my painting, help me make BETTER art and see my awesome artist statement, click here.

July 2, 2014

Blake ate the misshapen fortune cookie.

Not sure I’m capable of a full post. Like. With paragraphs. I may just delete this line entirely.

I thought I was okay and then I saw this (which is awesome and I will read later, but you should read NOW…this post is a bummer and can totally wait) and it was like someone sucked all the air out of the room and I couldn’t breathe.

At least she waited until she probably knew I was done working or maybe she just waited as long as she  could, but this morning I got the first dated e-mail.

You can tell how serious or important something is by whether or not my mother’s dating the e-mails in the subject line.

Grandma. July 2 2014

Not unlike the e-mails people got 3 years ago this summer, “Sarah. July 2 2011”, events to which I had already been thinking about very recently, and as I figure I will for probably the rest of my life:

big sudden decline
grama (except she spells it right)’s been on oxygen since Thursday
increasingly more oxygen
now triple

{sarah reads: GRAMA CAN’T BREATHE, SHE MUST BE SCARED.}

palliative care asap
ps. no internet at grama’s. you may not hear from me until tomorrow.

Sarah pulls up her grama panties, e-mails back something pithy and decides priority 1 is that I e-mail work, tell them, again, that this time, for real this time, it’s gonna happen. I will need time off. I will e-mail with more info as I have it, here’s my schedule, thanks in advance. Luckily I am friends with everyone I work with, on some level anyway, and I’m not too terribly worried about work because I don’t think people have funerals on Saturdays and what are the odds she’ll die on my worst day? (Pretty good, actually, if the history of our relationship is any indication but it was work and I included our boss so I didn’t wanna get slap happy and umb out of shock or whatever, as I may be doing right now.) Time off no questions asked only happens for death and Xmas. I know my bosses would work my shifts if necessary. Both of them.

I am totally completely babbling but see? I’m wearing my grama panties. Work. The responsibility. The money. Priority 1. God I could throw up. I may throw up. The day is young and I am severely undermedicated. I’m betting my mom e-mailed her work/money/responsiblitiesthatarenotmygrama people before she e-mailed me, Blake and my brother. (Or she was wise enough not to take anything on in the first place.) We all have it, whatever it is. It’s AWFUL! No, scratch that, this is one form of crazy my brother was spared. My brother probably e-mailed her with “whatever you need, just tell me, I’ll be there” and like, wanting to be in the trenches and I guess I said that too, sort of, but my response may have included a colon, lowercase o and right parenthesis in succession. I also know for a fact that I am mentally incapable of going to palliative care and I don’t think anyone in the world would hold that against me. Or anyone who remotely mattered, anyway.

I got that far in my thoughts this morning before I had to stop. I thought about taking all my shit outside and working on my garden painting, y’know, IN my ditchweed butterfly wildflower keep off the fucking lawn garden as planned, or as I had planned all morning until I got that e-mail, but suddenly the rain expected at 1pm just had me making idle chatter with a friend who wanted to talk about weed (obviously) while I watched this awesomely shitty Lifetime series that is now on Netflix called Witches of East End and I had just finished the series 1 finale, knowing full well that season 2 was not on Netflix, and may not even exist so I had to come online to know, did it get cancelled? Because it was just SO awesomely shitty that I couldn’t imagine/really hoped there would be a season 2. I got as far as “set to premiere on July 6, 2014” on the Wikipedia page, stopped reading because I literally want to know nothing, and flipped to Facebook because okay, TV is over, now what?

oh. hi there “Death Becomes Her: A Century of Mourning Attire“.

welcome, sheer fucking panic because I didn’t even think of clothes.

And then I came here because I couldn’t even get past the first paragraph of the article before having my worst panic attack in recent history.

I am good for one day of public viewing, unless it’s okay to wear the same thing multiple days in a row or it’s okay to wear white/off-white. (Is it?)
Madison will need clothes. As long as it doesn’t rain, we can work around her Docs.
Wes will need clothes from the ground up.
Blake would prefer no clothes, but has a few suits to choose mix/match/dowhateverboysdo from.
He will need shoes, an expense he’s needed for a while that I keep telling him to get that now he can’t put off. Although my grama might, if overhearing my inner debate as to whether or not he can get away with his orthopedic sandals, say, “oh! I don’t need it, I don’t need it”, because that is absolutely the very thing , when last I saw her, she would say. Ball’s in his court on that one. I’m wearing Docs.

Just texted my brother to make sure he has a suit. He’s a grown man, I probably don’t have to ask him this. Too late. Can’t take it back.

John & Chris are good.

That is all my people.

Everyone else can find their own canoe.

September 11, 2013

Aaaaall Riiiiiight Now, Baby It’s All Right Now

So my mom’s got her studio tour in Uxbridge next weekend which means we can’t really come and hang out with them and my brother but possibly the following Monday is okay because the weekend after that is my studio tour (from hell) and I’m going to need the Monday following it to decompress. I’m also going to suggest Wednesdays if she thinks that Monday is no good.

I haven’t seen my brother in 8 years. He wasn’t very nice to me during our last interaction which was only a few months ago so I don’t know what to expect.

I’m mesmerized by this thorough list of songs that use cowbell.

Blake’s got me hooked on this show called Supernatural which is actually very Buffy-esque but nowhere near as cool.  We’re in the middle of season 2 so we have a long way to go to catch up with current TV. I think Blake said there’s been 6 or 7 seasons so far? So yeah, we have a long way to go.

I’m pretty stressed out about the studio tour. One of the ladies who’s sharing the space with me (also a painter) suggested that we do something artistic, like part of our process, while people are walking around. I dunno how I feel about that but at the same time, what am I going to do, just sit there and nervously tweet? So I’ve decided I’m going to work on my colouring book while I’m there because those girls don’t require shading. My shading process uses Krylon’s Workable Fixative and it’s probably not a good idea to use it in an enclosed space with no windows. (I do at home because it’s just a tiny spritz every now and then, but I can see why it might be a concern.)

This might sound like the biggest first world problem ever but I dunno what to wear. Blake said “something Free People-y” which to me means “dress up”. Well we have to be there at 9am – likely before that. You want me up, my hair done, my makeup done AND dressed up and out the door by like, 8:45am? Lawd help me please. I think, especially since I’m going to be sitting most of the time, that my overalls with a tank top is just fine for both days. Tell me if you disagree. It’s comfortable, and get THIS, apparently “on trend“.  So people will think I’m cool, right? And if I get cold, I’ll just put on a hoodie. Good?

And finally, I sent Blake a picture of my boob…

Which is MONUMENTAL because he put a “u” in “favourite” like a proper citizen of the commonwealth!

Anyway, that’s all I got. Peace oot, homies.

June 18, 2013

That Thing, That Thing, That Thiiiiiiing

I’ve been sleeping a lot. I think I’m depressed again.

Last night I tried to watch the movie The Impossible and I lasted about 15 minutes before I fell asleep and drooled all over Blake’s belly. That was around 8pm. Then I got up at 4:30am for work and actually started early because my pancreas is bugging me (dunno why this time) and I wanted to go back to bed as soon as possible. So at 7:45am I went back to sleep and had the craziest dream about evil, pot smoking fairies that I wish I could remember and write down because it would have been fucking GOLD, very de Lint

…FUCK. Blake’s aunt died and now we probably have to go to Militiagan for the week. FUCK FUCK FUCK. It’s not that I have anything AGAINST Militiagan, it’s that I really really hate working from another location. I’m also on the rag and Lunapads aren’t exactly travel-worthy. Ugh. This suuuuuuuuuuucks. (It’s not an aunt he was particularly close to or anything, I’d never even heard of her until today. She’s his cousins’ grama.)

UGH.

UGH.

UGH.

I can’t afford to pay for roaming on my phone right now either. :o( If I’m roaming, does playing Pocket Frogs count as data usage?

Now I’m in a shitty mood. I was in a perfectly fine mood until Blake messaged me with this. Now my dream is 100% out of my brain and into the ether because he made me think about real life things. FUCK.

…And the vice principal just called and Madison’s exam on Thursday is drama, which is a play, so she can’t make that one up so if we go, she’s staying home. This is fucking bullshit. Fuck this, I’m not going. If we can’t all go, I say we send flowers since it’s not even a close relative and call it a day. It’s not like we can afford to go anyway.

UGH.

BUT! My wonderful friend, Miss Manda Leigh, found me THESE gorgeous things on eBay just now, in my size, which Blake told me to purchase and have sent to his mom’s house (because they didn’t ship internationally). They are Doc Martens so you know they’re good and that they’ll fit perfectly. Behold:

I loves them.
I loves them so fucking much.
I could kick someone’s fucking ass in these.
I knew if I put it out there someone would see something awesome!
Crowd-sourcing FTW!

….And Blake and I have decided to just send flowers to the funeral home and call it a day. THANK GOD. This was getting complicated and stressful. I had to take 2 clonazepam just to answer the phone when the vice principal called who A) should have called Blake’s cell instead of our house, which is the # he left on her voicemail and B) who fucking told Madison about the funeral, who had NO IDEA, and so she texted Blake 300 times while he was in a meeting wondering who died. THANKS, VICE PRINCIPAL FUCKFACE. YOU’RE SWELL.

I have done so much screaming today my throat is literally sore, both from being extremely frustrated with life and also from being excited about shoes. Today is definitely a bittersweet day.

I’m really bummed about losing that dream. It was the kind of dream that was so good, so interesting, that you force yourself to go back to sleep to keep having it. And now it’s gone. Thanks a lot, universe.

Now I’m going to go find food and wrack my brain for dream details. Have a lovely day.

March 11, 2013

Copper Angel, Madison’s Dress, Other Shit.

Here’s what I’m working on right now:

She’s going to be the copper angel I wrote about a while back.
Today I’m going to start working on her dress.

Yesterday we went to Michael’s so I could spend my birthday gift certificate from my mom and I got all kinds of good stuff. I got this crazy black ribbon that looks like webbing that I thought I could use for a goth fairy and I got  lots of new papers because they were on sale for 25 cents a piece. I stupidly got all kinds of pink ones even though I can’t use them because I’m convinced that one day I will be able to use them because I’ll find some kind of magic varnish that won’t make the papers turn orange but until then, they’ll just collect dust in my paper containers…what else did I get? Oh I got a whole bunch of Martha Stewart flower stickers to use in pieces like “Golden Girls“. That’s pretty much all I got, nothing too exciting. I looked at the $19.99 glitter Sharpies while we were there but I just cannot justify the price…

Here are pictures of Madison that I took and forgot to post a while back.
We were just screwing around:

And she just made me pancakes and wants to watch a movie so I’m going to end this post and go do that.

Happy March Break!

February 8, 2013

Somebody Mixed My Medicine

As I often do, I titled this post with a lyric or song title. Some people get it, some people don’t, some people have no idea that I do it or that I do it often or if I do it every time…..so now you’re going to wonder. And then when you think you’ve gotten it figured out, you’re going to wonder “why” and that’s exactly its own answer, cupcake. That’s all I know.

So yesterday I went to group CBT therapy. CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and this is what the booklet they gave us about it says:

“Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapeutic treatment (or “talk therapy”) that helps people to understand the thoughts and feelings that influence behaviours. CBT focuses on the “here and now”

CBT can help people to make sense of overwhelming problems by breaking them down into smaller parts. This makes it easier to see how they are connected and how they affect you.

CBT is commonly used to treat a wide range of disorders, including phobias, addiction, depression and anxiety.

The underlying concept behind CBT is that our thoughts and feelings play a fundamental role in our behaviour. For example a person who spends a lot of time thinking about airplane crashes, runway accidents, and other air disasters may find themselves avoiding air travel. The goal of cognitive behaviour therapy is to teach people that while they cannot control every aspect of the world around them, they can take control of how they interpret and deal with things in their environment. “

Then it has this little diagram which is as equally boring as the above paragraph, blah blah blah. I went in the cab, with Blake. There and back. So hello, mission accomplished right there – with a minor freak out after the fact  but I’ll get to that.  CBT? I retained NOTHING from that class, holy shit. I’ve been going over the course material off and on all day and doing my “homework” which is to fill out this mood chart. Here’s mine for a week, naturally I started today:

The next slot now says “EAT. CAKE. BLOG. 92.5”

I’m scared that when I show them mine next Thursday, because don’t forget, I have to do this shit every single week and ideally every single day for the rest of my life. Or something. I don’t really get what happens post-CBT, like does that mean I’m a saner person then? Do we get a grade? Like, Rick mentioned that some people have to take it multiple times and I’m thinking flat out “fuck. that.” so tell me the point, lemme figure out how best to get an “A” so this hellacious experience can end. I committed to 10 weeks of this bullshit so let’s get this show on the road. Anyway, what if we have to like stand up and say stuff about our charts or if they look at our charts and say things about them in front of the class? I was kind of tuning her out for a while there because it was a lot of information to hit you with all at once so thank god for all the handouts, so she may have said what’s going to happen with the charts once the week’s completed. Do we keep them? I want mine, definitely. I just really hope they’re not held up in front of the class. The 2 ladies running the class have their phone numbers on the big book of stuff they gave us but not their e-mail addresses and that’s a sign of mistrust right there. For me, I dunno how other people feel about that. If you can’t put your words into text, I’m probably not going to listen to them. It’s that I have a legitimate issue with my hearing or rather how my brain filters sound or something, though. I need repetitive sound in my environment which probably explains a significant portion of my musical choices, but more to the point is that I have to ask people to say things more than once or explain them differently, often, or I’m not going to understand.  This probably means I’m retarded or stunted or whatever but it’s just something I’ve noticed over the years. I am OFTEN listening to music that isn’t there. I can’t help the fact that yes, I probably AM seeing things that aren’t there. Yes my meds are working this is just me using my imagination and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. THANK you, for asking.

So the people in my class…at the beginning of the class pretty much the first thing we did was go over the group guidelines which are all pretty much no brainers (hey did you know that “brainer” or “giving brains” means getting or giving a blowjob now? blew my mind! haha) but the one most relevant to my purposes in doing anything was rule #1: “confidentiality is essential for everyone to speak freely and feel safe.” Cool by me but I make no promises about one day changing people’s names if anything funny happens. Rule #2 was “Please listen respectively while others speak.” No problem considering I don’t plan on saying a single word while I’m there ever. But then rules #s3-8 are all about how you basically have to or the group will call you out haha So like, that makes my life right there.

But whatever, CBT was really fucking boring, getting there and back was a lot less boring and I only slightly freaked out about it today, the day after, and I’m done freaking out so let’s talk about it shall we?

First of all, I looked cute godammit.

 

 

I asked Twitter and half of the people said pink and half of them said turquoise.
I went with the pink.

The cab was supposed to be here at 12:30pm but I went into the kitchen at 12:15pm there it was in the driveway, white and grey and blue? I don’t even know. Lady driver, I sat behind her, said “hi”, smiled, whipped out phone and tweeted until we made it to the mental health centre. Blake made small talk with her, which annoyed me but she was an old lady cab driver and I get the appeal of hearing stories so whatever. Let the ladies gossip. So we get there and Blake had to go inside and get a slip of paper from the office for the cab driver which he got and gave to the driver which I was grateful for because I don’t think I could have done it. While he did that, I claimed a spot in the waiting room for the CBT group.

So after CBT I’m not really sure what happened, if Blake asked the receptionist to call the cab or if the cab company knew to come but we waited a while and made stupid jokes in the front foyer of the building and then the cab came and we got in. I sat behind the driver again, this time a dude. When we got in, I got out my phone and screwed around on Twitter and Blake started making small talk with the guy.  This annoyed me immensely because if these two drivers are going to end up being my drivers every time and I am going to have to deal with them every Thursday, sometimes by myself if all goes as planned,  for the next 9 weeks and they think I’m going to sit there and make small talk with them the whole time everyone’s of their damn minds. Isn’t there like public transit etiquette in which you can ignore any and all people from point A to point B except to get out of their way? Why can’t I just talk to my friends on Twitter the whole time I’m in the car? Inquiring minds here!

So the cab thing was pretty nerve-wracking and I guess the plan is the same next week. I suppose I should e-mail Rick and tell him how the cab thing went. I’ll probably just paste him what I just wrote.

Last night was also the first meeting of the Springwater Guild of Artists and Artisans which I was super nervous about but Mike, the photographer that kinda runs things, he was really nice and so was the guy to the right of me who was described to me as “young Gandalf”, which is funny and true and I forget his name. I just know that he’s an illustrator and that he apparently “gets” me, which I found pretty humourous and wondered what on Earth there was to “get”, but whatevs.  There was an older dude there with an accent whose name I missed even though he said it to us twice. I got the sense that he’s a business owner in town of some sort. I didn’t recognize anyone from the website, which I meant to check last night but got distracted by drugs and Community and just needing desperately to sloooooow dooooown. I still haven’t sent Mike any of my stuff for the site yet. I have all the pictures at the appropriate resolutions and sizes for various things, the hard part is the bio and Blake so he wouldn’t write it *for* me but that we could work on it together. So maybe we’ll do that tonight.

Right now Madison and Blake are in the kitchen making garlic mashed potatoes, peas and pork chops. During and after dinner, I plan to put Blake’s poor brainmeats back to work. (He only finished working a few minutes ago, luckily he worked from home today.) Anyway, that’s all I have to say…OH WAIT, no it’s NOT!

On my chart, from 11am-12pm got a 75 because during that time I convinced Madison that making us all french toast for breakfast was an awesome idea and she agreed! Score! Today’s been pretty good. Yesterday sucked but I got through it, today I just needed to not be on (hence why I’m wearing the same clothes today as yesterday but I swapped yesterday’s jeans for today’s yoga pants). Anyway, here are some pics from 10-12. Peace oot!

I also got a massage!

January 1, 2013

Mic Check 1-2, 1-2.

It’s nice and sunshiney out at the moment and I really want to wake Madison up to take pictures because she said I am allowed to do that, but I have to have an idea for pictures for that to work and the only idea I have for a day like today we did yesterday and the other idea I had for a day like today can’t be done because Madison left our key prop at school over the holidays. Bummer. I feel like this is such a wasted opportunity. You can only do so much  in the snow and we have limited options as far as wardrobe and props so I think I’ll just let this sunshiney morning slip quietly by. There will be more. No one wants to be woken up on New Year’s Day before noon. If the sun sticks around, I have a photo idea for the end of the day anyway…

Yesterday morning was a different story, however. Madison told me Sunday night that if it was sunny out, to wake her up after 8:30am and we would go into the back field and take pictures. This was because she showed me that on TheWeatherNetwork.com, I can view the hourly weather forecast and it said we were supposed to have sun from 8am-11am and as it turned out, we did have sun at 8am, so I waited until 8:30am and woke her up and told her what was happening and she said okay and said she’d start getting ready. Well, by the time she got ready, we’d lost our light completely and as *I* predicted, The Weather Network would be wrong because no one can predict the weather hourly. (That’s just crazy talk.)

Anyway, here are the pics we took yesterday. The yukata was a gift from my friend Mariko. We didn’t know how to tie the bow so I just did the best I could.

It was very windy.

We were both wearing our Docs because the snow was pretty deep in some parts. It was also windy.

Right now the kids are obsessed with Minecraft on their iPods and Madison made a world with the same rules as The Hunger Games because she saw it on a YouTube video, and had Wes and Blake be the participants. Blake killed Wes many times. I downloaded the app onto my iPod but can’t get into it or maybe I just don’t see the appeal. There’s a Minecraft documentary made by the company that created the game and apparently it’s pretty good. It’s on Pirate’s Bay at the moment so we’re going to download it soon because I think that sounds really interesting. We got the warning from our ISP that we’d reached our bandwidth cap about 4 days ago which has really suuuuuucked, it’s like we’re grounded haha We think the increase in internet use has a lot of factors, one being Wes discovering YouTube about a week ago and two giving the both of them internet on their iPods. Also Netflix maybe.

So another thing Madison did in Minecraft yesterday was make Wes a surprise. He was in my office and he was bitching at Madison from here, across the house, about something and she would bitch back and they went back and forth a bit until finally I asked Wes why he was sitting in my office playing Minecraft to begin with and he said because Madison kicked him out of the living room. I asked why she did that and he said “because she’s doing something on the computer”. O rly? Well I went into the living room and snuck up on Madison to see what she was up to and she was making this, using a tutorial, for Wes to find in a world she was designing for him:

And that’s really all I have to update about, things here have been pretty chill. I’ve just been working and hanging out with the kids while they’re on break and messing around on the internet. I’ve got picture plans for the rest of the break but right now all painting plans have been put on hold due to lack of desk space. I got a new computer as an early Xmas/birthday present because my laptop does not like everything I do to it, especially now that I’m using Lightroom so heavily, so it’s taking up 1/3 of my desk, which would normally be covered in notebooks, art in progress etc. Now all THAT stuff is on the 1/3 not taken up by a computer because I still have my laptop set up as my work computer. Anyway, I’m not all that worried about it right now but sometime soon I’m going to have to correct that situation because I can’t leave it that way forever.

So yeah…boring New Year’s Day address, I know, but it’s what’s on my mind right now so there it is all the same. Have a webcam picture from yesterday. It’s coooold right now. My fortune cookie fortune said “You are acutely sensitive to your environment,” (duh) and one of my lucky numbers was 42. Score.

December 27, 2012

Random Shit From a Random Folder/Xmas

So I came across this just now:

Dubber was just this guy I used to know.

I still think that’s a good idea. And I googled it just now (because I wanted to show the kids and back when I originally posted this, there was only this one link that doesn’t work anymore with a video of them sinking/floating) and it’s true, full sugar pops/sodas sink in water while diet ones float because artificial sweetener is less dense than sugar. (Click here for the nerdy part of that.) I say that that gives Diet Coke the advantage over regular Coke (because who wants the density of sugar feeling full in their belly and that much sugar on their teeth?). And Pepsi, for that matter, which was the original intent, but I’m not sure how far Coke would realistically want to take my line of thinking with this or if the simpler idea is the way to go. I mean, if Coke wanted to rebrand Diet Coke based on a positive response to these pieces of art in major cities, that would be pretty cool, right? And what if aspartame was cheaper than sugar or that the potassium blah blah blah that they have in Coke Zero that’s apparently super bad for you, anyway? Worse than aspertame? (And I argue that sugar is just as bad and Coke is a cheap source of it anyway).  And that there is less aspartame in a can of Diet Coke than there is sugar in a can of regular Coke so wouldn’t that make sense that there’s more carbonated water in Diet Coke and isn’t more water content better for you? So that was just one of my ideas one day when I was helping my old friend Dubber with his book a long time ago. (Which, for the record, he said was stupid but I argue that he was stupid and that’s where we are today.)

Anyway, it was just an idea and I’m surprised that I haven’t already seen Coke or Pepsi use this floating fact to their advantage. I mean, pop is still totally garbage for you, I’m sure, but with how people drink it, it’s still a tonic too and this is all just chemistry. We know sugar is bad. Aspartame is kinda bad, you can find reports and studies to deem it safe and not safe, but I do know it’s definitely better for you as far as your teeth and your blood sugar than regular Coke and the potassium blah blah blah in Coke Zero is banned in some countries because it’s not necessary and there hasn’t been as much study on it than aspartame  so – and this is just me – Diet Coke comes out the winner every time.

And this just turned into a total can of worms, I know, because people are really crazy about what they will and won’t drink or what they prefer and there’s even drink etiquette when you’re at someone else’s house, I think, so the beverages industry is the bigtime, but it’s my favourite brand category so I think about it often.

So Xmas.

Well, we had Xmas with my mom, John and Chris on Sunday and that was pretty cool. My mom makes this cheeseball every year that Blake and Wes really like so she made that and invented this:

My mom's a hipster.

It is:
A little 2 inch long crustini thing, like a bit crouton. I forget the flavour.
Red pepper cream cheese.
Bacon marmalade.
Havarti cheese.
And a slice of cherry tomato.

I am personally offended by cream cheese as one of the nastiest substances on Earth and I would also put the mere idea of bacon marmalade in that category, so I didn’t have one, but I thought they looked nice and Blake liked them so there ya have it.

Blake is dumb.

Give me pouty!

“Give me pouty!”

Prince Wes.

Madison reading the joke from her Xmas cracker.

Princess Madison.

My mom made a honey spiral ham, scalloped potatoes, carrots, peas and perfect crescent rolls and everyone had a good time just enjoying each other’s company. The kids sorta formed a gang upstairs and the adults (term used loosely) stayed downstairs. We played a little Cards Against Humanity which is extra fun when you play with Wes, who loves the game but understands very little but he knows what sounds funny and the brat ended up winning. By like, a lot. What have we created? I realize the game is for 17+ but when we played at Squam, the whole time, while having a good time, I was thinking, “yeah, I’d have no problem explaining that  to my kids” with every card and believe it or not, I think the game’s actually a little bit educational in that it’s good for kids to ask “what’s the holocaust?” and “what’s the three fifths rule?” which are two of the white cards in the game. Of course, explaining a lot of the other ones is a little harder, but we’ve played all the white cards from the entire base game and there wasn’t one thing that I thought we shouldn’t or couldn’t explain to Wes. It’s definitely not a game meant for kids and your mileage may vary, but for Wes it’s fine and I’d much rather he play a gross word game with his family than play the latest bloody video game alone. And also coming up with explanations for things that he would even understand is part of the fun! Of the game AND of parenting itself!

Anyway, on Xmas Eve I had to see Rick, my support worker mental health nurse guy, and that was pretty uneventful. I told him about all of the things I’ve been doing and he said he wasn’t sure what the next step is and I said neither did I. Blake suggested that I try having an appointment with Rick by myself, to which I said no. Blake said okay and Rick fucking argued me down to 5 minutes alone and the rest of the meeting with Blake, which I agreed to but isn’t actually going to happen, I just wanted to end the conversation without crying. Rick is not someone I want to be alone with, he just has a vibe about him I don’t trust. He obviously doesn’t respect my boundaries or he wouldn’t have argued and bullied when I said no. Other than that, which can be fixed next appointment I think, the meeting was pretty uneventful. Blake’s fear is that with the winter weather, I’m going to be less likely to drive and that’s going to slow down my progress. I don’t think he’s right and I don’t think that I have to work on anything new right now  with how much I’ve already put on my plate to digest and deal with. I’m pushing my mental faculties pretty hard between driving, dealing with Rob at The Conservatory and potentially joining the artist’s guild I wrote about a while back. Throw in still trying to learn photography, painting, parenting and my job and it could all come crashing down like a house of cards if we add much more. I think I need to plateau where I am for a little while and if that means only driving on clear days  for the next couple of months, I think that’s fine. I can drive in Elmvale and to the beach and possibly even to Midland if the roads are okay. And by “okay” I mean, either just wet or completely dry. I’m not ready to drive in snow at this point, but I think there will be good driving days ahead. I’m fairly confident it’s okay.

So the rest of Xmas Eve Day I basically just farted around online and hung out with Madison. Blake went back to my mom’s house to pick up the full-length mirror my mom got Madison for Xmas that wouldn’t fit in our car with people in it.

Then Xmas Morning rolled around and when I got off work, I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t and Blake decided to get up and then Wes got up and then Blake and Hoover woke Madison up and we did presents, and then Blake made a million phone calls to his family all over the US and then we had Xmas in Orgrimmar, had dinner, played more Warcraft, watched Doctor Who and then I had to go to bed so I could work the next day. (I actually went to sleep about 20 minutes into Doctor Who, so we finished it yesterday morning.) Here’s some pics of Madison, Wes and Blake with some of the stuff they got for Xmas:

Her shirt is Rose Tyler, if it’s not obvious.

Still trying to convince Wes to make his Furby evil.
Apparently how you treat them counts as far as personality development.

And that was Xmas.

I think for the rest of the week, Blake is working in the Barrie office so he’ll get to see some of his friends there and he’ll actually be home before dinner. Bonus! I think for me, it’s just going to be an internet day. Or maybe I’ll go level battle pets in Warcraft. I dunno. I’ll figure something out.

November 14, 2012

I Don’t Really Have a Whole Lot To Say…

…because all I accomplished today besides work was dinging 62 with my shadow priestess and doing 39 minutes and 47 seconds on the treadmill (burning 137.5 calories and walking a whole kilometer) while catching up on New Girl with Madison…but I wanted to share these two really good things I saw on the internet today.

1. Some Thoughts and Musings About Making Things for the Web by The Oatmeal

2. AYearWithoutClothes.com
(If Tumblr pisses you off and confuses you like it does me, here, I did you a favour and linked you to the beginning. Oh and if it wasn’t obvious, this blog is not safe for work.)

I have to go to bed in an hour like a chump because I’m covering for someone else at work tomorrow and need to be sharp as a tack. Normally I get up around 4-4:30am, check e-mail, look at Facebook, whatever, until it’s time to start work at 5am. Then I work my shift and if I’m still tired, like I was today, I’ll go back to bed for a couple of hours.

Tomorrow I don’t have that option so I took my meds an hour early and hopefully the loxapine will have kicked in by 8pm so I’m actually asleep by 8:30pm. This is the plan. However plans like this never seem to work out for me so, ever the optimist, I’m expecting tomorrow to royally suck. That’s why I vowed to make today as fun as possible.

Tomorrow night is Touched By Fire. I have a lot of thoughts about Touched By Fire this year and the fact that this is going to be my last year doing the show, but I’ll save that for Friday. Charlie’s coming to the show with us and we’re going to The Keg for dinner beforehand, so I guess tomorrow won’t suck completely.

Okay now I’m going to go eat ravioli out of a can for dinner and convince Blake that we should watch an episode of Revolution before my night is over.

October 9, 2012

Fall Fair Princess 2012

This weekend we went to Militiagan and saw Blake’s mom and her Charlie and Blake’s old girlfriend Mandy (it was his high school reunion) and Blake’s Aunt Pat and Blake’s friends Dennis and Sarah, who had just gotten her appendix out two days prior…it was busy and stressful and we ended up coming home a day early because we were just drained from all the running around and we both wanted a day off to just do nothing and yesterday was that day.

While we were gone, we left Madison alone to look after the dogs and the house which she did a good job of even though she had friends in the house, which I explicitly told her wasn’t allowed to do and she let one of those friends cook and he burnt the shit out of our brand new frying pan. (Which I think Madison should have to pay for, personally, since she wasn’t supposed to have anyone in the house to begin with.)

The real reason she was left behind was so she could participate in the Elmvale Fall Fair Ambassador contest, which is basically a beauty pageant and she won first runner up with a prize of $200 which she used to buy that ugly sequined vest I posted about a while back and which I will now show you.

Her competition was a grade 12 girl who we pretty much knew would take first prize because she’s in grade 12 and it’s her last chance to win the title and a dude who apparently didn’t put much effort into his float and whose speech was apparently not on topic (the girls wrote speeches about Elmvale, which is exactly what judges want in this kind of thing and the dude wrote about waving your freak flag). Plus, this town freaks out over a boy in a dress so imagine the scandal of a boy in a beauty contest.

They were judged on 3 main things: a dinner that was held last week, their participation in the parade and their speeches. Madison wore my clothes to the dinner (which she is now banned from wearing because she doesn’t take care of them and leaves dry clean only Free People clothes on my bed for the dogs to lay on all weekend even though she’s been told more than once not to do this but she does it anyway because she’s an asshole), then she convinced her friend’s grampa to drive her in his truck in the parade (I’d show you pics but I deleted all the parade pics because Madison’s a selfish brat who doesn’t deserve the time and energy I put into taking and editing them – long story which I’ll get into later, just trust me on this) and then she did her speech Friday night which I haven’t seen because we were on our way to Militiagan by then but apparently there’s video of it somewhere.

So a Fall Fair Ambassador is basically a queen or princess of the fair and I think they go to events and stuff throughout the year. I have no idea and neither does Madison because she had no idea what this even was when she signed up for it. She just knew there was a cash prize.

Anyway, here’s the ugly vest she paid $75 for and is in love with:

Here it is again in case you missed it:

So yeah, that’s the vest.
And the hat lights up.

So that’s Madison’s stupid ambassador thing. Do I sound pissed off? It’s because I am. It’s because Madison is a selfish cow who only thinks of herself and no one else at all times and I’m going to remain pissed off at her until she gains a little perspective.

The short answer? Bare Oaks. Again. I talked to Wes and we made a deal that I would go if he went and after I talked to him about it and promised him that his 3 main fears were okay (1. that people would stare because he was new, 2. that we would laugh or stare if he saw someone with a big penis or a deformity and 3. that Madison might tickle him) and that nothing bad would happen and all the cool stuff they had there, he decided he wanted to go. So that means I’m going too. In the spring or summer. Because we’re all in this together and Blake and Madison really wanted to go again. Wes said his #1 reason for wanting to go was to spend time with his family. Why? Because unlike Madison, he has priorities other than himself.

So I asked him if he’d want to do a “naked night” to get used to the idea of being naked together like we did with Madison and he said yes and that he wanted to do it last night. So I said I’d clear it with everyone and barring any issues, we’d have a family naked night last night.

Now yesterday Madison’s boyfriend came over. Blake picked him up and drove him home at the end of the day. On the way home from driving him home, Blake told Madison about mine and Wes’ talk about Bare Oaks and that he wanted to do a family naked night. She agreed and said it was a good thing and that she was happy she’d be returning to Bare Oaks.

Well, after dinner and dishes were done, we looked for a family friendly movie that Wes could watch on OnDemand and we decided on African Cats. Suddenly Madison didn’t want to do naked night anymore. She just didn’t feel like it (which is valid but that’s not all she said…) She said she wasn’t even sure she wanted to go to Bare Oaks again. She who wrote this post about it just a week ago and teased me and Wes for not wanting to go. So she decided that talking to her friends on Facebook was more important than spending naked time with her family JUST LIKE WE DID FOR HER to get her prepped for Bare Oaks. So she wouldn’t feel embarrassed. But she couldn’t do the same thing for her brother because, I’m going to say it again, she’s a selfish cow. And then she makes up some bullshit excuse about not wanting to go to Bare Oaks at all again after I convince her brother to go. And I think the reason is because if her brother’s going, it’s no longer edgy and cool to be a naturist so why bother going?

Since spending time with her friends on Facebook all night was such a priority for her, we’ve set her internet to shut off at 9pm. Then she can do the dishes in a timely manner, properly, and get a good night’s sleep so she’s not late like she’s been every day since school started. Maybe she’ll actually read the books she’s claiming on Facebook to have read, like Middlesex, just to seem cooler and more worldly than she is. (Remember when I went through the trouble of covering up MY copy of The Virgin Suicides so she could read it at school because she so desperately wanted to? Yeah, she never even got halfway through it. Just another little example of someone going out of their way for her and her not appreciating it.)

And the other thing was this stupid ambassador contest at all. She never even asked if she could do it, she just signed up and told us about it after it was too late to drop out and Blake was supposed to leave for Militiagan alone on Thursday night. But no, we had to be supportive parents and take pictures of her in the parade, which we dutifully did. Blake postponed his plans that he’d made 6 months prior FOR HER and did she appreciate that? Of course not. Did she appreciate the fact that a fucking PARADE is incredibly difficult for me to go to? No. And she expected me to take pictures of her on her “float”/truck.

Here’s Wes and his girlfriend Emily in the parade. How cute are they?

So we all go out of our way for her all weekend and she backs out of naked night for no other reason but she didn’t want to watch African Cats and wanted to talk to her friends on Facebook instead. It’s perfectly valid to say “I don’t feel like it”, we’re not going to force anyone to get naked, but she said she would, she seemed eager about it, all until we chose a movie Wes wanted to see instead of one she wanted to see and then she gave that bullshit excuse about possibly not wanting to go to Bare Oaks at all. I could have killed her.

So fine, she’s made her choice. We’re not going to do a damn thing for her for a very long time. If she wants to see her boyfriend, she’s going  to have to walk or he’s going to have to walk. The next time she wants to “daddy daddy daddy can I please come with you to the grocery store?” the answer will be “no, I’d rather go by myself”. Or maybe Wes wants to go, since he has been wanting to do that lately too. No advances on allowance under any circumstances. No wearing my clothes or using any of my art supplies any more. Just no more. She gets so much extra attention it’s ridiculous and it’s going to end because obviously it’s warped her as a person. This is for everyone’s own good. Especially Wes’.

And that’s all I have to say about Madison and her ambassadorship. I’ll make another post for what I really wanted to talk about instead of this bullshit.

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