December 3, 2013

Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money then you die…

It’s 4:30am and I just woke up. It’s almost time to start work. (Realistically it’ll take me all morning to write this.)

Blake and I have been talking a lot about life and we’ve come to the decision that we’re NOT going to move and that this house, despite its faults, is going to be our forever home because Blake only has to commute twice a week now (which was the main reason we were going to move in the first place), Madison’s going to be out of the house in a couple of years and Wes is going to follow shortly after so once they’re gone, it’s not like we’re suddenly going to need more room. It’s just going to be me and Blake and the dogs (Madison’s taking her cat when she moves out and another one will not be gotten).

Yeah, this house is not even remotely close to my dream house, but it’s redeemable and now that I know we’re here to stay, I can do certain things I couldn’t do before, like potentially the “teacup wall” or bringing back the wildflower garden (or a version of it). Sometime soon Blake’s going to have a dishwasher put in. I asked him if it would be possible within the next 10 years to put a roof on our porch so it would actually get used and he said that was a definite possibility.

We’re eligible for a mortgage 3x the size of the one we have now and we looked at a lot of really pretty houses that I’d love to live in, but there’s no point in getting a mortgage bigger than the one we have now for a house that’ll be too big in a few years and honestly? I don’t really want to have to clean a big house.

Once the kids are out of the house and it’s just us, we really only need a “home base” rather than a fancy house that impresses people when they see it. We don’t know what the future holds, obviously, but I haven’t seen much of this world and I kinda thought traveling might be a possibility, once the kids reach independence, and traveling is expensive. I’d rather have a small, functional house with disposable income for things like travel, as opposed to a nice, big, fancy house where your only option is to sit in it because you can’t afford to do anything else.

I’ve been saying this whole time that I wished we didn’t have to move because I like being 10 minutes from the the world’s longest freshwater beach and my whole mental health support network is up here, so this decision is not unwelcome.

Do I wish we had a nicer house? Of course. But now that we don’t have to be “safe” because we’d planned to sell the house one day, we’re free to do all kinds of things to it to make it the one we want to live in. I don’t know what all of those things are yet, I haven’t thought about it (we only made this decision a few days ago) but now that my imagination is free to go there, it’s gonna go there.

The teacup wall, as some of you probably remember, is something I came up with a long time ago, pretty much when we first moved to this house in 2005 and it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to over the years. The original idea was to cut off the backs of teacups and teapots and stick them to the wall using something like maybe stucco or some other type of “outdoor wall cement” but now I’m thinking a better idea would be to leave the cups and pots intact so the morning glories and moonflowers have more room for their roots. Also cutting a teacup in half is probably a really difficult thing to do, especially when you don’t even have a saw. I’d still have to drill a hole in the bottom of each teacup for drainage but all I need for that is a masonry bit and I just watched some stoner kid make a bong out of a Patron bottle and a masonry bit, so if that kid could do it, I’m pretty sure I could too. Or Blake could. I think what I should do is put up sheets of that wood that has all the little holes in it, prime and paint it and then wire the cups and pots to that with stainless steel wire. Where I would get stainless steel wire or if that’s even a thing, I have no idea, but I would hate for the wire to rust and then 10 years from now my cups start popping off the wall.

Before I can do the teacup wall though, this whole room needs to be rebuilt. My office actually used to be a carport but they made 3/4 of it another  room because they put in a gas furnace and didn’t have anywhere else to put it (the house had electric baseboard heaters previously). The problem, though, is that we doubt this room is legal in any conceivable way. They used chipboard for the outer walls. CHIPBOARD. We’ve had nothing but problems with the roof in here leaking because since this room was never meant to be a room, let alone a heated room, they didn’t vent the roof/ceiling properly so the warmth from this room causes ice dams on the roof which fucks it up. That’s going to be the next big project: fixing the roof. Again. This time though, I think we’re going to see if a metal roof is possible.

Since this room used to be outside, the whole length of it to my right has vinyl siding on it which means that hanging anything on that wall is pretty much out of the question. And that sucks. So when we rebuild this room, that’s coming off and we’ll put up drywall.  Then we’re going to try and find something creative to do with the furnace. Obviously it can’t go anywhere else, but maybe we can build it in and make built in bookshelves around it or something.

Another thing on the list of things to do, since this is now our forever home, is improving the lighting in this house. You rarely see the inside of my house because the light, or lack thereof, in this house sucks, especially in the living room. We already plan on painting the living room, including the ceiling, so we’ve decided that when that project rolls around, we’re going to look into built-in ceiling lighting because as of right now, there isn’t any and it sucks relying on two yellowy lamps to light the whole room. I’d also like to put a ceiling light in the hallway because there isn’t one there either.

Something else I’ve been thinking about now that we’ve made this decision is the Springwater Guild of Artists and Artisans and next year’s studio tour. After the tour, the guy who keeps everything organized for the guild asked us to let him know if we’d be interested in doing the tour next year. I replied with a polite, “No thank you,” for a couple of reasons, the biggest being that we weren’t sure if we’d be here next year. But now we know we are.

The thing is though…it’s $50 for membership into the guild and for that you get to attend meetings to plan the studio tour, you get one picture on the main page of their site and one picture on your bio page on the site, that also has a link to your site or your shop or whatever you want (I link to Etsy directly from there). To be in the studio tour it’s $75 on top of that. I’m not getting any traffic whatsoever from the guild’s site to my Etsy shop. I sold 4 greeting cards at the studio tour, which I think totals $32 – minus the processing fees for two of the cards because the lady paid with Visa. I also volunteered a lot of my time and energy for the project with pretty much no return. Another “benefit” of being in the guild is that sometimes opportunities arise like when I had my work up at the township office for all of August, which are cool, but others aren’t so cool. (I have a really really hard time forking over cash for “exposure”…)

Financially, this is a no-brainer. This year I lost money on the whole guild thing. However, I am part of this community now for better or for worse (after 8 years of living here haha) and maybe this is really stupid, like throwing money down a hole, but I think paying $50 to be in the guild is sort of like…helping out your community? Or something? I like that the guild exists, even if it doesn’t really benefit me at this point…maybe it will one day? Does that make sense? And as far as the studio tour, I’m still thinking at this point it’s a tentative “no”, but we’ll see what I create between now and May-ish, when I have to decide. Who knows? It’s quite possible the studio tour isn’t even going to happen next year. Also, in the new year I plan on making smaller paintings (8 inches x 8 inches) with a lower price point, as well as a couple of batches of ACEOs, and I’m wondering if I had those at the studio tour this year, if I’d have sold any of them. I had two ACEOs on my table for sale, the only two I have left, but I don’t think people really knew what they were or what to do with them, especially since they’re the same size as my business cards, which resemble artist trading cards. I think if I were to do the tour next year and have ACEOs on my table, I’d have one or two in small frames as a suggestion as to what to do with them.

I just think, maybe, now that I know what to expect from the guild, from the people in the guild and the studio tour, that maybe I should do things differently in the new year. We’ll see.

And like I said to Blake a few weeks ago, maybe a better idea would be to take the $125 I’d be spending on the guild and studio tour and try running some Facebook ads. I don’t even have to do it to know that I’ll get a better ROI.

Like I said, we’ll see.

September 28, 2013

None of you nmph better look at me funny…

In other news, I spoke with Wes yesterday about the possibility of doing boys as well as girls, possibly even together (imagine!) and he eagerly told me to go ahead, said that he didn’t mind at all and that he thought it was a good idea. So my brain’s percolating in that area.

I’m still filtering and processing the studio tour and I remember one lady, possibly even the trollop lady but my memory’s foggy, saying that my girls looked like Bratz dolls. 1) No they fucking don’t. Not any more than Barbie or any other adult female doll because hello, my girls are paper dolls! And 2) Fuck you, go buy a Bratz doll then! That’s been bugging me all week. Now that it’s out of my brain maybe I’ll stop dwelling on it.

So like I said a few days ago, I’m working on the colouring book pretty steadily while watching terrible movies on Netflix and it’s actually kind of freeing because there are things I can do with drawings that I can’t do with cut and paste paper dolls, or that is extremely difficult. If anyone has any suggestions on what they’d like to see in a colouring book by me featuring my girls, then please let me know! I’m trying to stay away from careers because that’s a little too Barbie for me, I’m thinking of make believe.

Anyway, there’s my brain dump for today. Have a good weekend!

PS. Here’s a pic taken by my mom’s friend Dianne from a few weeks ago. The only person missing is Chris!

This is my family!

September 26, 2013

Sandpaper tears corrode the film…

I hate fall. omg do I ever hate fall. I’m trying really hard not to dwell on it but with every red leaf I see on the maple tree in our front yard, I get seasonably depressed. Just bit by bit.

But I’m trying not to let that happen so Blake told me I only had to go to the first macro class and if I hated it I didn’t have to go to any more of them and he wouldn’t be mad about the wasted money. So that’s a deal. I’ll go to the first one and if it’s scary I don’t have to go back. Okay. I can do that. That happens next month.

Other than that all I feel like doing, so that’s exactly what I am doing, is drawing pictures for my theoretical colouring book. Suggestions on the kinds of girls you’d like to see are completely welcome.

On the studio tour I was asked 3 times, “do you do boys?” and my answer was that, no, I made one boy for my son and I told him that would be the only boy I’d ever do. This is the one I did for Wes in like, 2009:

I love it.
He loves it and takes very good care of it.
(Both kids do take care of any art I’ve made them/put them in charge of.)

So all week it’s been nagging at me that I *could* do boys. Honestly, because of what I said to Wes, I’ve never even let my mind go there, but I’m going to talk to him about it after school and see what he thinks of me going back on what I said. Honestly, I’ll be surprised if he remembers but if it’s important to him then that’ll be the end of the conversation. I have a lot of ideas though…

Anyway, that’s my brain at the moment. Happy Thursday!

September 23, 2013

I cut my teeth on wedding rings…in the movies…

It is SOOOOOOO cold today!!!! And all weekend!!!! Blake turned on the FURNACE this morning, which I normally refuse to do until November but jesus fucking christ, it was like, 2 degrees this morning. So fuck that, the furnace came on.

This weekend was the studio tour and it was pretty uneventful. I cried like a baby before it started on the first day but got over it.

I had a good time hanging out with Rose and Carol, the artists who shared the space at the library with me, because they’re both very cool people, but we didn’t have that many visitors. Like 32 I think the first day and I’m not sure the second day. More the second day for sure, but not by much. I sold 4 greeting cards. Got lots of compliments on my paintings, lots of questions and people taking business cards but no buyers. One guy took a card and said, “I’ll think about it” so I dunno what that meant other than the apparent.

I had a real live trollop of a woman come up to my part of the room and was like, asking all of these really specific questions about my process and about the paintings and telling me I should do this and I should do that and I should sell my greeting cards at cost “just to get your name out there” and you could tell that she was trying to figure out how to make the paintings herself (good luck) and subtly trying to get me to lower my prices on my cards. And she was around for like, god, a good 45 minutes between all of us but mostly at my tables making me crazy. Finally she left and I was pretty relieved because she was really intense.

But mostly? I sat at our table and drew pictures for my colouring book and smiled at people as they walked by. I’m just not good at selling. I mean I know what I have to do to sell things and it’s just not in me. I’m not an extrovert.

I knew I wouldn’t sell any paintings. I figured I’d sell at least a few of my small items (I had greeting cards, buttons and ACEOs) and I did and that was cool & all but I don’t think I’m going to do this again next year. It was a LOT of work and a lot of money (to me) for not much return. So fuck it, I tried and it’s not my thing.

Moving right along…

My brother and I are friends again on Facebook. He encouraged me yesterday when I posted a picture of my setup on Facebook (which was a crappy pic so I’m not bothering to post it here), so that was good. My mom told me he and his dad and his girlfriend didn’t get the apartment they were hoping to move into October 1st. So that sucks for them. :o/

My mom and John and Chris came to the tour yesterday which is how I know about the apartment falling through.

At the end of the tour yesterday, Deanna and her new boyfriend came over. Deanna is awesomesauce, as always, unsure about the boyfriend. Time will tell, I suppose.

I’m really nervous about this macro class and kinda want Blake to get his money back before it’s too late to do so. I don’t know when that date is but it’s probably soon considering the class starts next month. It may even already be too late. It’s just gonna be late and it’s gonna be hard and I think you even get a GRADE for the class, which freaks me right the fuck out and I don’t think I can do it. But maybe I should try? I dunno. A small part of me is this fearless Amazon warrior woman and the rest of me is…soft and squishy and prone to tears.

Soooooo yeah…

Anyway, that’s all I have to report. Have a lovely Monday!

September 6, 2013

She’s like, so whatever…

The other day I was reading back entries, which I rarely do becauuuuse I kinda have a thing against second drafts (that I’m trying to get over) and I found that posts from a few years ago where I’ve embedded lots of things from the YouTubes have blank spots in them where the videos used to be and that sucks. :o/ Since I link to a lot of music videos and there are often many copies of whatever it is, I’m gonna start telling you what song it is prior to you clicking it – especially if you don’t know it and especially if you love it. And if you hate it? Well. Okay! You’re allowed. :o)

Right now I’m listening to Porcelain by Moby, which is the 2nd most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, partially because when Wes was a few months old and had the worst colic the world had ever seen and sometimes, not always, but sometimes, if you held him and rocked and turned this song’s volume up past his crying, he would fall asleep. But the miracle thing was that with Porcelain he’d stay asleep longer than if we got Wes to fall asleep any other way (because when a baby has colic like that, the end of the crying is sleeping. It’s like, wake up happy, get unhappy, cryyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYnomatterwhatyoudoYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyy,y,y,y…y…zzzzzzzzz). I’ve asked him if he remembers it or if it sounded familiar but he said he doesn’t.

The kids are back in school. Madison wants to change all her classes and Wes is in the straight grade 5 class (as opposed to split) with the same teacher Madison had in grade 8.  I wasn’t a fan of her in grade 8 though so let’s hope she’s better at grade 5.

Yesterday we went to Pizza Hut for lunch because Blake’s on holidays! Well, he has been as of last Friday at around 5pm until this Monday morning and the day before I mentioned that I was craving it but when we got there they had a lunch buffet and the smells made me feel kinda sick and then our food got there and I ate some and I felt even sicker so I just had one small piece  of pizza and a breadstick. Blake didn’t like his food. Soooo so much for that!

Then we went to an undisclosed location and Blake got all his hair cut off. Behold:

These pics are a little blurry because I was shaking.
I don’t like being out near the road.

He’s donating his hair to ladies with cancer.

We just got back from looking at the space at the library where I’ll be set up for the studio tour. It’s pretty big and we’ll have no problem fitting 3 artists (2 painters and a jeweller), the food bank donations set up and a student art installation which I was worried about. Everyone will have their space.

Anyway I haven’t really got anything to write about soooo…bye!

PS. Blake becomes a Canadian citizen next Thursday!

August 29, 2013

If I ever leave this world alive…

So right now my job is to get through the first couple of weeks of (the kids’) school and how boring my days are potentially going to be with no one to talk to but the dogs. The cat doesn’t grace us with her presence until Madison gets home.

Speaking of cats, 400 isn’t hanging around anymore so I think she gave up or she got hit on the road. Either way, Madison needs to clean up the bed she made for her and recycle the salmon can we gave her water in. This will be her instructions for today.

I saw my shrink yesterday and it was a positive visit. I told her about how we went to the city a few weeks ago during Daste of the Danforth, that I went ziplining last week, that I sprained my foot hopping a fence (trying to get pictures, which came out so/so), that I have the studio tour coming up, and my plans for the fall/beginning of next year. We also talked about my mom getting married but I didn’t bring up my brother. There’s nothing to bring up, anyway, he’s there and I haven’t seen him yet.

I also have no idea what’s okay to post and what’s not okay to post in regards to my brother…but remember a while back when I said “in a perfect world…”? Yeah, so that basically happened.  No job yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

I’m reeeeeeeaaaaaallly nervous about the studio tour. But I mean, who wouldn’t be? Especially since it’s my first (and last!) one. I am NOOOOOT signing up to do this again. Signing up to do it in the first place was an idiotic decision and if the flyers weren’t already printed, I would have completely backed out. Now I don’t really have much of a choice but to do it. It’s not for another 3 weeks though so I’m choosing not to worry about it. Yet. I don’t even know what the space looks like where I’m setting up, so put that on the list of things to do soon. I can work with pretty much anything. I also have to make hang tags for all of my paintings.

But yeah, trying not to even worry about it now.

And that’s pretty much my whole life right now I guess.

Yesterday we tried to go to the beach but the water was freezing so Wes and I sat in the car while Blake and Madison went in despite the cold. Then we went to Wal*Mart to do back-to-school shopping and then we came home and had dinner while trying to watch this terrible biopic of Steve Jobs. Thennnnn *drumroll please* I went to bed because I’m boring!

WOOOOOOO!!! What a crazy, wild life I lead!!!

Anyway, I’m going to take my thoughts to paper. Au revoir!

PS. Lucky was on my webcam today. Here are a couple of the pics for those who missed it:

August 8, 2013

When I say “dance!”, you best dance, motherfucker.

There should be things to say. When I was in the bathroom, admiring the purple shade of my foot, I thought of a hundred things to write about but now that I’ve opened WordPress, I’m drawing a blank. That’s probably because I’m procrastinating.

Here’s what I should be doing:

– Starting my 1st draft for The Fiction Project. (Due Nov. 15th, 2013)

– Working on my “fat lady story”, the story I’ve been working on for 2 years but that I’m completely stuck on, frozen.

– Work on my sketchbook for The Sketchbook Project (Due Jan. 15th, 2014)

– Working on my Dorothy painting.

– Working on my donation for the Food Bank for the studio tour. I *was* going to donate two ACEOs in gold frames but I kinda thought that was too cheap, so now I’ve decided to paint something new instead.

– Journal away some of the crazy, fucked up shit that keeps going through my head.

So yeah…I guess I’m going to fire up Netflix and see if I can’t knock some of this off my list. *sigh*


PS. Here’s my foot.

August 2, 2013

Hey yo kids! Wassup?

Blake just called me to say that my stuff is all set up at the township office. He sent me a pic:

Click here for a bigger pic.

I sent Blake with I think 50 cards so hopefully that’s enough. I don’t know how many people work there or how many people pass through there who might see the display.


Here’s me today:

Okay I tried. I tried to read Molly Crabapple’s really long and thorough article on Gitmo and I just can’t do it. When they start talking graphically about forced feedings I just can’t deal because I know what that feels like and it hurts and it’s gross and it’s just awful. Reading about it reminds me of my feeding tubes. And then that reminds me of the giant needle they shoved into my back and into my lungs to drain fluid that had built up there, likely caused by the feeding tubes I’ve since read. It gives me the fucking willies. Like I can’t even believe I went through all that and I’m still alive. Blows my mind. I feel so far removed from it now but when I read stuff like that, it’s like it’s happening again and I can’t deal with it.

So let’s change the subject…listening to this.

When I was 16? Lollapalooza happened in Barrie at Molson Park (now closed) and Hole was playing so my boyfriend at the time got us tickets and since I was also nomad at the time with no parents to say no, we went. It was no big deal, we just got in his dad’s car (which was unreliable) and drove up to Barrie, parked, stood in a really long line to get into the park, saw some bands and then on our way out of the park, there were these two stoner kids hitchhiking North. We were going South to go home. Dipshit says, “Hey, let’s pick them up!” and so we did and they said they lived in Huntsville. Well Huntsville is like, I dunno an hour and a half away? North? And my boyfriend decided that he was going to drive them to Huntsville “just to be a nice guy” and because the guys said they’d give us gas money when they got to their house.

Do you see where this is going?

So we get to their house in Huntsville and we’re waiting in their driveway for them to come out and give us gas money and it just didn’t happen. They never came back to the car to even say, “hey thanks for the ride but we have no money”, nothing. Dipshit gets mad and wants to pound on their door. It’s CLEARLY their parents’ house so I convince him not to do that because while they did a shitty thing to us, it’s not right to get their parents involved. Dipshit was a big, violent guy so this took a lot of convincing. It was like, 3am and we decided that since we were in town, we should go to my dad’s house and see if he’s home. Remember I barely know the guy.

We get in the car and after about 45 minutes of driving down the wrong dirt roads, we finally found it and we sat in the driveway of his house thinking, “now what?” His phone book had just been delivered so I ripped out an unimportant page and wrote a note –  I think – with lipstick just saying “hi”. I stuck it between his front doors and went back to the car.

That’s when Dipshit tells me that we don’t have enough gas to get home. We’re 2.5 hours from home and we have NO money and I was not waking up my dad, who I barely knew, and ask him for gas money so Dipshit thought of a better way.

That fucker had me begging for change starting at the Tim Hortons in Huntsville and every coffee shop between there and home. I would get maybe $3 at each place and we would stop at each gas station in between coffee shops to buy $3 worth of gas. It was awful. I was so mad.

We rolled into his dad’s driveway at 5:30am, which was when his dad leaves for work, and we left him with enough gas to get to work but that’s it because that’s all we had and at a certain point I stopped begging for change in coffee shops because we had enough gas to get home, but Dipshit wanted me to keep doing it all the way home so he’d have enough money to buy smokes when we woke up that afternoon. I thought that was a bullshit reason to beg for change so I went on strike and we didn’t really speak the rest of the way home. I was tired and pissy and he was being a fuckstick.

Listening to this.

Since last Friday I was trying 4 new drugs to help my constant nausea/barfing/pancreas pain and it really helped. The whole time I was taking them, I didn’t take a single Zofran or Gravol and I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t throw up. I actually ate less and better than I usually do, which is uncharacteristic of the drugs. I also didn’t take a single Ibuprofen or Tylenol 1, except when I was taking one of the drugs because it gave me a headache. This despite the fact that I was on my period and have a sprained foot. Pain relief is also one of the characteristics of the drug. The only problem with these drugs (I narrowed it down to 1 that works best) is that they’re expensive. They also have side effects and I wanted to make sure that I could function as a cognizant human being, especially when they may not play well with my psych meds. (I think I did okay.)  I wouldn’t be able to drive after taking them. Not that that’s a huge problem, but something to be mindful of. There are a few other side effects and I don’t know if they’ll be problematic. Now that I have it narrowed down to 1, I’m going to have to be on the drug longer to know the effects for sure.

So that’s good news, I suppose.

I’m very curious to see if I keep taking this drug if my pancreas will chill the fuck out and quit hurting for no goddamn reason. Then I wouldn’t have to be on hydromorph and sleepy all the time.

I dunno, we’ll see.

Just got an e-mail from my mom. She has to cut a watermelon. I suggested this method. Asked her if my brother was LIVING living with her now. We’ll see what she says.

Uruguay just legalized pot and is the first country to do so. Cool beans. Support farmers, not thugs!

So my foot is a LOT better. I can put a bit of weight on it and can hobble around without crutches, just very very slowly. My shoes still won’t fit on my foot because it’s too puffy but I’m hoping that walking around a bit will help move that fluid to somewhere else.

In theory I should be either painting, working on my story for the Fiction Project or writing stuff in my sketchbook for the Sketchbook Project or even just taking pictures and I feel guilty that I’m not. So I think I’m going to go do one of those things to ease my guilt and maybe I’ll write more later and leave you with this…

July 17, 2013

Cryin’ Won’t Help You, Prayin’ Won’t Do You No Good

Here’s today’s theme song:

I’ve only updated 4 times this month and it’s already the 17th. Remember when I used to post 3 or 4 times a day?

I don’t really know why I haven’t been updating. I guess I just haven’t had all that much to say. And I’m not exactly getting feedback these days so I don’t really have all that much as far as incentive. I don’t even think Blake reads anymore.

I got notification the other day that my Memoir Project book has been digitized but I tried to read it and they’ve messed it all up. Here’s the link anyway. I really only wrote about when I got sick so it’s not like it’s full of stuff you guys haven’t heard 100 times before. I also found one instance of where I should have written “too” but I wrote “to” instead. That shit drives me crazy and I wish I could fix it. I even proof-read it twice before sending it off! Oh well, what’re ya gonna do?

I have 4 days left of work hell. Five if you count the fact that we have our weekly work meeting the day after my last crazy shift which should technically be my day off. Once I’m done all that though, I’ll have 25 hours banked that I can take off whenever I need to. Nine of those hours are going to be the Saturday of the studio tour and the rest I think I’m just gonna save in case I need a sick day or in case we go to Montreal, which Madison wants to do this summer. I wouldn’t mind going to Montreal but I don’t speak very much French and Blake speaks none. Wes just started French last year so he barely knows any and we’d be relying on Madison whose best mark this year was en Francais. I hate working from anywhere other than my own desk so if we do go, I’d take some time off. But since I don’t really *want* to go, I’d feel like those hours were wasted but at the same time, if I didn’t go I’d feel left out, so I dunno.

I think next week or the week after we’re going to go see my grama. My mom says she’s been feeling well enough that she hasn’t needed people to be with her 24/7 so that’s good, but let’s be realistic, also temporary. My mom has a show to do in August so at least this is giving her some time to make product for that and prepare for it etc. My grama requires a shot of heparin in her stomach every day and I dunno who’s giving it to her since people aren’t with her every day anymore. It’s a blood thinner. When I was in the hospital, I had to have the same shot (as well as wearing compression socks, which are terrible!) and it fucking hurts. Like, first the needle part physically hurts and then the heparin itself burns and stings. It’s only like, 10 or 15 seconds of pain but pain is pain and I haaaaaaated that. My grama has to have it because she has/had blood clots in her lungs. I had to have it because I was bed-ridden and with the lack of circulation, blood clots were a possibility.

I should be painting today, since I’m awake (and I don’t intend to go to sleep until about 5 or 6pm because I have to get up at 2am to work at 3am, boooooo) but I just don’t feel like it. Plus there’s nothing to really watch and I have to watch something while I paint.

I watched The Newsroom premiere on Monday morning but I couldn’t really follow it. Same with True Blood. With the hours I’ve been keeping, my brain is just mush. Unless it’s work-related, nothing sticks. :o/

Anyway, I think I should force myself to go paint. I have my next project sketched out already so I need to work on that (it’s sort of a commission, sort of not…it’s an idea I’ve had for a while now but my friend said he’d almost definitely purchase it if I did it and I REALLY need money right now so that’s why I chose it to be next) and then I have to work on an 8 x 8 inch painting for the food bank. I get the feeling that I’ve explained this already somewhere but I forget where…on the studio tour we’re supporting the food bank as our charity and each artist is donating a piece of work to be used for a raffle/draw. Like you would buy 10 tickets for $10 (or something) and then you’d put your ticket in a basket beneath the piece of art you want and then at the end of the tour we’ll draw the tickets and whoever’s ticket gets chosen for each piece gets it. And the money obviously goes to the food bank.

I have NO IDEA what I’m doing for my piece so I suppose I should figure that out…I also have to buy a tablecloth for my display at the township office next month which I’m stupidly nervous about. That doesn’t even make sense considering I don’t even have to BE there for it or talk to anyone or anything like that. I’m more scared of my paintings being damaged or stolen.

I also have to make hang tags for the paintings, which I’ll staple to the back of the canvases. That was my mother’s idea.

I have a lot of stuff I need to do but no desire to do any of it. But I better get my shit together because all of these events are happening SOON so…yeah…

Anyway, I’ll wrap this up by saying GO VISIT MY ETSY SHOP!!! Or my ZAZZLE SHOP!!! If ya see anything ya like, BUY IT!!! :oP The reason I say that is because I need to know what I’m putting in the township office and I need to know what stock I have for the studio tour so if you had your eye on anything, you should totally grab it now!

And if anyone has any idea of what I should do for the 8 x 8 inch canvas, I’m all ears!

Peace oot, homies.

PS. One of my ACEOs was chose for an Etsy treasury this week! Check it out!

July 11, 2013

Asses Kicked, Names Taken

I went to bed last night around 7:00pm, then started work this morning at 4am and I would LOVE to be asleep right now but I have a work meeting at 2pm. Shortly after said meeting, like maybe an hour or two later, I’m going to take my evening pills and go to bed because I have to work again at 2am until 8am tomorrow morning. The good news is that after I’m done work at 8 tomorrow morning, I don’t have to work again until 2pm on Saturday. Granted I have to work 9 hours on Saturday, which sucks, but then I can sleep in on Sunday morning. Then Sunday night (well, technically Monday) I have to work 1am-5am. So I kiiiiinda still get my days off (Sunday and Monday), I’ll just be sleeping through most of them.

Then next week….Tuesday I start work at 5am, then Wed.-Fri. I work 3am-8am but Friday night I have to work 11pm-5am Saturday morning, sleep, then start work at 2pm-11pm and then my last crazy shift is the Sunday night (technically Monday morning) 1am-5am. Then it’s all my normal shift work after that.

I was worried I’d burn out and not be able to handle this but as long as I get creative with my meds and sleep when I’m tired, I should be good. Or at least it has been so far. It’s not even how many more hours I’m working while Belinda’s in Asia, it’s how weird they are that had me worried. For the last year & a half, my schedule has been pretty rigid. Go to bed at 9-9:30pm, get up at 4:30am, start work at 5am, go back to bed at 8am, wake up again around 11am and then paint the rest of the day. The only day that truly sucks in my regular schedule is my 9 hour long Saturdays. But even those I’ve gotten used to because they’re busy and I don’t have time to think about how much they suck haha

So that’s work right now. My meeting’s in an hour and 7 minutes so I better stop blabbing about work and write this damn post.

I’m so tired I’ve pretty much forgotten what this post was supposed to be about.

Yesterday I started a Twitter account for the Springwater Guild of Artists & Artisans (SGAA) where I’ll be tweeting about events we involved in, including the studio tour, so if you have any interest in that, feel free to follow it. I think we have 7 followers at the moment haha Really, the goal of the account is to get the local newspapers and radio stations and local celebrities to tweet or retweet about the event. I also think that during the studio tour, I’m going to live tweet the event using that account. My plan is on the Saturday I’ll get Madison to watch my stuff at the library while Blake and I take an hour or so to go to each stop and tweet pics along the way. I think I’ll also figure out how to incorporate Facebook into that too. I’ve kinda been designated the social media guru so…yeah…

Then this morning I spent a few hours on the SGAA site, on this page specifically that has all of the artists participating in this year’s tour, and coming up with 4 or 5 interview questions for each of them. Then I e-mailed each of them their questions and I asked them to e-mail me back their answers, along with 1-3 pictures, which I’ll then put together as little profile articles to be posted sporadically on the SGAA’s Facebook page. The idea will be for people to see those little articles, which will be based around pictures, and share them, boosting our signal.

I’ve also got the Facebook advertising nailed down so it’s been a really busy morning! I am SO ready for bed!

Anyway, the studio tour isn’t for another 2 months but here’s the Facebook event anyway so if you happen to be in our area, you can “save the date” so to speak. The tour is on September 21st & 22nd from 9am-4:30pm. I won’t actually be IN my studio because my studio is really “the grown up living room”/my office and there’s no wall space to hang any of my stuff so I’ll have my stuff set up at the library in the center of town.

Two & a half weeks from now I have my exhibition for the month of August at the township office. I’ll post more details about that when I know them, for example, WHERE the township office is because I have no Earthly idea. I know it’s between my house and Barrie but that’s all I know. I also know I need to buy a table cloth for the table they’ll be providing to me to use for my setup.

Earlier this week I ordered 400 business cards because I figure between people just asking me for them all the time, the township office exhibition and the studio tour, I very well might need that many and at the moment all I have in my wallet is 4 measly little MOO mini cards (which I did not get any more of, but I did get my cards from MOO because I wanted several different designs).

So long story short, I’m busy and getting shit done.

On Sunday I finished my “Silver Angel” painting, which, if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you’ve probably seen progress pics of but you may not have seen the final result yet. So voila!

More pics are available on Etsy…
…where you could also BUY HER!

But I’ll show you this one here though too so you can see what makes her so cool:

Her dress is mirrored silver with holographic, 3D stars!
(That were REALLY REALLY hard to photograph.)

When I had her glued onto the canvas (notice that it’s actually NEGATIVE! my backgrounds are always WHITE but this time I went BLACK!), she was pristine. So I started the varnishing process and when I got to her dress and brushed on the varnish, all was well and when I was finished, I put her on top of the washing machine away from shedding-in-clumps dogs. Then I forget what I did, I think we watched TV or I did something online, but when I checked on the painting about an hour later, I FREAKED because the varnish over the holographic paper was CLOUDY, completely ruining the effect. It was so humid on the weekend that it took until Tuesday morning for the varnish to cure and turn clear, which it did THANK GOD, but man I was losing my damn mind until that happened. But in the end it all turned out and now I’m trying to think of things I can do with the other holographic papers I picked up when I was at Michael’s a few weeks ago.


Last night I decided on what my next project is going to be. It’s actually something that I’ve had in the back of my head for a while now and I even bought the material to do it like, 2 weeks ago, but I wasn’t sure if it would be my next project or not until a friend on Twitter last night said “heyyyyyyy remember you said you were going to do [X] painting? Whatever happened to that?” and I said I was still thinking about it but that I had all the stuff to do it. And then my friend was like, “well, if you do [X] painting, I will almost absolutely be buying it,” and that spoke to my poor, broke ass so that’s what I’m going to start working on tomorrow after work. It’s NOT a commission because it was something I had planned and had even sketched out already, already had the materials, but it IS a sale, so yay! It’s been way too long since I sold a painting…

Then after that I think my next painting is going to be an 8 x 8 inch piece for the food bank. The studio tour is partially for charity so we’re selling raffle tickets where the proceeds go to the food bank and each artist is donating a piece and what will happen is, you buy say, 10 tickets and you put them in a basket in front of whatever item you want to bid on. You could put all 10 in the basket in front of my painting for better odds of winning it, or you could put 1 ticket in each basket for the chance to win multiple prizes. At least that’s how I understand it’s going to work.

Anyway, the food bank donation raffle stuff will be set up at the library where I’ll be and I think I’m going to see if Madison can run it and have the hours go toward the volunteer hours you need to graduate high school here. I haven’t run that past her yet but it’s a thought I had.

Okay my meeting is in 12 minutes so I better post this, then post it to Camwhores, then pee, then have the meeting.

OH! Speaking of Camwhores, I’m doing a members only show on Friday night at 10pm EST! If you need a free trial to watch the show, e-mail me and I’ll send you an invite!! This week’s theme is storytelling, so that’s what my show’s going to be all about. Should be interesting.

Peace oot, homies.

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