Not taking commissions until at least the New Year, but will entertain ideas for them from patrons for potential work this winter.
Here’s the last commission I did (prints will be available soon, click to enlarge):
<3 <3 <3
Not taking commissions until at least the New Year, but will entertain ideas for them from patrons for potential work this winter.
Here’s the last commission I did (prints will be available soon, click to enlarge):
<3 <3 <3
I’m sort of in the process of rebuilding my life and I’m at a point where I feel I can share my plans with you.
I have a bit of an internet presence…
…plus a million other things I’ve signed up for and never used again. The tumblrs and fan pages hardly ever get updated, so let’s pretend they don’t exist for now. YouTube is only used to embed videos in other places, so it’s more of a utility to me than any kind of community that I have to participate in, so take that off the list too. Everything else I use and most of them have some kind of community linked to them that I am part of.
Well, I want to build a new community around myself where my site or LiveJournal is not necessarily the center of it because I don’t think either has been the center in quite a while. I want this community to be built around Patreon, and my creative life, with everything else mostly pertaining to that. But I’ll get to how I plan on using each component after I explain Patreon.
Patreon is a website that allows me to receive monthly payments from generous patrons who wish to support my work. In return, patrons receive perks, like Kickstarter, and they get to share in the experience of creating some pretty cool stuff, which, if I don’t suck, should give them a little bit of pride of being a patron of the arts and having a hand in whatever crazy thing it it is coming into being! And yes I *am* proud of that run-on sentence!
My first project is a zine that I’m (oh so originally) titling “Textibitionism”. I haven’t really posted anything about it over on Patreon yet (that’s my next task), but what I envision is 20 individual pieces of paper-based art which tells stories from my life and the things I care about. The original idea was to use traditional scrapbooking materials/embellishments and instead of making typically pretty layouts with smiling children or whatever those happy scrappers do, I would be, well, me. The original idea was also that I would only use materials that I already had, but I already blew that idea out of the water, bigtime. Now what I envision is a mix of altered scrapbook materials, subverted and perverted by my very being, original writings and hand-drawn illustrations. If this sounds good to you, then you should know that almost all pics of works-in-progress, process videos and discussion about this project will be on Patreon, mostly via the patron-only activity feed, which is like a blog with comments and likes. This will be the centre of my creative universe, if the Patreon model of getting money to make art actually works. (We’ll see. I’m not totally convinced. Steph the Geek seems to be doing okay so far, though. Ana Voog and Blake are also using it.) Unlisted YouTube videos, Snapchat (which is where you get videos and pics exclusive to that app on your phone) and private Twitter will be used for daily life stuff for sure, but those media will mostly be where spur of the moment creative thoughts, ideas and work-in-progress photos, things that are pains in my ass etc., will be posted for patrons.
I’ll still be using my main Twitter account and I will (hopefully) only ever have one Instagram account because switching back & forth all the time sounds like a nightmare. LiveJournal is going to continue to be used for the emotional, real life stuff while my site’s updates are basically going to be State of the Union of Sunnyland addresses, linking to everything else once in a while.
I realized when I was in San Francisco that aside from my job, there was very little structure in my life and if my job is any indication, I think I’m less productive as a result. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, I have tons of them, but for a while, whenever I tried to put an idea to paper, I’d start but ultimately lost interest for whatever reason and nothing ever got finished. “Textibitionism”, and the other creative milestones I’ve set for myself on Patreon, is the first time I’ve felt excited and energized about a creative project in a really long time so I really hope that if I make it, I’m not the only one who’s going to see it.
The big picture is that if the zine is well-received, eventually I would maybe like to build Textibitionism.com/.ca/.org where it would be for sale both digitally and hard copy after everyone on Patreon who is supposed to get a copy, does, and the site will have links to all the girls I can find still making and selling zines on Etsy and elsewhere.
The big, BIG picture I’m still working out in my head but there is one. Not giving it too much thought yet though, since so far Blake is my only patron haha
As far as adding structure to my life, today for example, I got off work at noon so I knew I was going to medicate at noon and then write this post directly afterward. I’m falling behind schedule already because I meant to have this done by 3pm but that’s okay. I bought a day planner to help me keep appointments and structure my days to be the most productive I can make them because I’m a freak and I’m happiest, the most emotionally stable and the most satisfied with life when I’m busy creating something, whether it’s writing this post or painting a mermaid. In the past, my creative endeavours have made other people happy too so I’m hoping for this whole thing to be mutually beneficial.
Now I think it’s time to forage for food. Peace oot, homies!
PS. It is a VERY GOOD IDEA to insure your camera equipment, as I found out this week when I realized my camera’s messed up after taking it treetop trekking. I got it insured a few hours before we went! *whew*
I finished an art video last night and left it uploading overnight, so it would be ready for people to see in the morning. It’s called “Fetus Balloon”, here it is:
It’s a bit dark because my office is a bit dark, but I’ve got a lamp on my desk now so that should solve the problem in the future. I don’t really care if anyone watches them, I like watching them, and I just bought a video setup to make them, so expect more.
I realize I haven’t been updating a ton lately and most of that has to do with the fact that I’m not feeling particularly “writer-y” these days. I’m feeling more…I dunno, visual I guess. In the video, you’ll see that I’m painting on a pad of watercolour paper. I’ve decided that paper is going to be my only substrate for the entire winter. I thought about limiting myself to only using Inktense pencils but I just couldn’t do it. I used them in the painting in the video but so far nothing I’ve been able to do with them has looked better than my usual acrylic paint so I’ve decided to do the opposite of limiting myself and anything, as long as it’s (relatively) flat, fits on that paper and won’t fall off when I file it in my portfolio, is fair game.
Here’s what I did with the first sheet of paper from the pad:
My first real attempt with #Inktense pencils. Honestly, I have no clue how to use these, or at least I haven't figured them out yet. I'm so used to painting in layers and you can't really do that with these, you have to paint with whitespace. I painted myself into a corner a couple of times. Also there are no flesh tones in the whole box, which is just weird. They do seem to react to salt similarly to watercolours, but the effect isn't as dramatic.
I’m so used to painting and working in layers that carefully leaving white space as not to mix your colours was really really difficult. Also there are no caucasian fleshtones in the whole tin and I have the really big 72 pencil one. I dunno, still playing with them.
When I go to San Francisco next month all I’m bringing as far as art supplies is this pad of watercolour paper, the Inktense pencils, brushes, brush basin, 3 Pigma Micron pens, pencil, pencil sharpener, eraser, exacto knife for cutting eraser, ruler and circle template, gel medium, acrylic glazing medium and 6-8 two oz bottles of acrylic paint, colours to be determined, but Santa’s Flesh, Snow White and Lamp black are definitely going to be in there. I know it sounds like a lot but it really isn’t since almost everything is small or light and it’s NOTHING compared to the resources available to me in within the room I currently sit. So, during that trip I *am* limiting myself to that and whatever Belinda brings with her/buys while she’s there if she comes. We’re gonna sit around and watch movies and make bad art. It’ll be awesome. Steph’s also taking me to a restaurant that ONLY serves fancy macaroni and cheese, which I gotta tell ya, I’m pretty damn excited about. We’re going to see where Steph lives (in a bitcoin-fueled cyber hippie love commune), which should be interesting. At some point we’re going to hang out with Blake’s sisters and their kids, two of which Blake has never even met. They live in Lake Tahoe so they’re going to drive into SF and then I dunno what. On my actual birthday, my friend Kat is throwing me a birthday party and then driving us to the airport the next day (unless we just get a cab cuz it’s gonna be like, 4am). I’m trying to arrange a meetup one day with all the people I work with who live out there, but I’ve never actually met. So that should be pretty cool.
I’m going to SF because I figure by the end of Feb/my b-day, I’m going to be a wreck. The SAD officially kicked in this morning despite doing light therapy 3 times every morning for the last two months. San Francisco has warmth and sunshine and a MACARONI AND CHEESE RESTAURANT and friends. The place we rented has a pretty nice kitchen so we’re going to order in from this food delivery service that has all kinds of weird produce and organic meats. And I’m sure we’ll hit up a grocery store at some point. (I loooooove American grocery stores.) Blake’s going there to see his sisters and work on his book and be warm. I’m thinking about maybe getting a tattoo while I’m down there but I haven’t decided yet. I want to have my scar accentuated somehow because it’s fading, but I haven’t come up with anything yet. I don’t want to tattoo the actual scar though. I dunno, was just an idea. I want to buy THE most touristy godawful bong I can afford that says San Francisco on it, if I can find such a creation. I’ve been assured that such an item has been spotted once or twice so, I’ll be on the lookout.
Almost bought plane tickets to Vegas last week because my work can get us free tickets to AVN which is a big porn convention at the end of the month. Didn’t end up doing it because unless we could have rented a place with other people from work, we couldn’t afford to stay anywhere. I guess there’s also an electronic gadget convention happening at the same time so all the hotels raise their prices. Flights were pretty cheap, though. Plus doing that at the end of Jan. would mean only 3 paycheques between now and San Francisco and I want to save as much money as possible for that. This year would have been ideal to go to AVN because it’s their 30th anniversary so I bet there would be more than the usual amount of free swag. Oh well.
What else? Well, Madison has her learner’s permit and is learning to drive. She has two part-time jobs and spends all her money on Magic cards, something that she has gotten all of us into because the only shop worth going into in our town is the comic shop and they have Friday Night Magic until 1am or longer, depending on how things are going. My deck is white with a bit of blue, but I’m thinking about switching to a straight white deck when the new cards come out later this month. I guess we’ll see what I pull (I’m buying a full box of boosters and so is Madison).
Other than that like, all I do is work. I may play Sims 4 today though because I haven’t touched it since it first came out and I have no plans for today. Spending the day either in my Sims Bunker or farming in Warcraft and eating pizza sounds pretty damn good to me. So that is what I am going to do.
I am feeling SO MUCH better than I was on Monday. A normal schedule again, medication-wise and work-wise, and lots of sleep has helped immensely and I’m mostly back to my old self. I won’t say “normal” since I doubt I’ll ever be that, but back to my old self…
I did not go see my grama and my brother on well, today, because both Blake and my mom thought it would have been a bad idea in my former state, which I agree with, but I’m okay now so I’m kind of regretting that decision. I really want to see my brother. I don’t know why, I just do. Is it weird to say that I miss him? Because I do. Immensely. I love the shit out of that big stupid asshole. And my grama, well, I have something for her.
On last Thursday or Friday, I forget which, there was “customer appreciation day” in Elmvale and Madison was doing face painting at Jack’s On Queen, which is the local comic shop.
Why people would want their face painted on a 42 degree day is beyond me…
Brian was also there assembling his new mini comic called “Faces” which I forgot to buy one of so I’m not sure what it’s about but I’m sure you can purchase one yourself on his site! He’s really good!
So Wes and I went down there for moral and emotional support and also to buy Madison lunch at Alma’s which, if you follow me on Foursquare, you would know that we eat there a lot. Their hot roast beef is the fucking bomb. Look at this!
Anyway, that was Friday I think and while we were at Alma’s there was a HUGE storm where tornados touched down in various places near us so we called Blake to come home from work to come get us (he was working in Barrie that day) and then on Saturday before I had to go to work, we went to the beach because we live right near day beach. BOOOOOI! Lotta mercy. (Points if you get that reference. I can’t stop saying it…)
The beach is AWESOME after a big storm because there are big waves that are fun to jump. So we stayed for about 40 minutes because I had to work and then I worked for 3 hours but a friend of ours had a bit of an emergency so my co-workers, who are AWESOME, scrambled to cover my shift and Blake and I went to spend time with her. She had just run the Warrior Dash, which is this crazy-assed race thing that you can read about here. In fact, apparently someone died at it here this year but I haven’t read anything about that yet. They apparently had a pre-existing condition and just…died. I mean, the race itself is brutal, you have to climb rope walls and crawl through mud under barbed wire and the mud has gravel underneath it so your knees get scraped up and you have to jump through fire. It’s pretty nuts. Blake ran it last year and plans to run it again next year. I think they’re both mental but whatever floats their boats.
So we had a good night with our friend and then Sunday…I forget what we did on Sunday. So probably nothing. I had to work at 1am, which fucking sucked, but I did it and then I had Monday off but I slept through most of it and that brings us to yesterday when Blake did his Canadian citizenship test where he got 19/20 questions right and was finished first. He’d been practicing for weeks so I wasn’t really worried about it and nothing bad happens if you fail anyway, it’s not like they deport you or anything. I am crazy proud of him. What happens next is he’ll get a letter to come down to that building again to do his oath where he’ll swear to like, be awesome & respect the Queen & shit which I will get videos and pictures of, don’t you worry! The first song we listened to upon getting into the car after he passed his test was this one, by A Tribe Called Red, which is a Canadian band that does like, aboriginal dubstep that’s super wicked:
They’re up for the Polaris Prize and I think they should win.
I didn’t wear socks with my Chucks yesterday so I have a blister that’s basically my entire heel and it really fucking hurts. I wore my Chucks because my sandals gave me another blister on Friday when we walked into town to see Madison and Brian. I can’t win! But that one’s healed enough that I can wear my sandals again.
And I guess that brings me to today! I worked this morning, which sucked (I am so sick of my job at the moment…I’m thankful I have it and I realize it’s a pretty cushy job compared to a lot but man, I am so fucking sick and tired of working), then I woke up around 11:30am and decided to make this canvas I’ve been working on my bitch. If you go to my Facebook page you can see Vine vids of the process of splatter painting which I think is super uninteresting but other people seem to like so that’s why I did it.
This is how you can tell someone’s an artist (or one of the ways):
I can’t remember if I posted about what I’m working on at the moment but it’s Dorothy! The background is all rainbow so far and as soon as I’m finished this post I’m going to start working on Dot herself. I made a preliminary sketch of her last weekend but I think I’m going to tweak her a bit when I actually paint her.
That’s obviously just pencil crayon with no shading and her nose isn’t right.
I can’t figure out how to paint braids but Dorothy in the 1939 movie only had french braids to just behind her ears and the rest was a pony tail so that’s what I was going for.
Anyway, that’s what I’m working on.
Peace oot, homies.
So guess what? As it turns out, I’ve actually been painting embryos this whole time and not fetuses. Well, sort of. I looked it up this morning and what I paint are humans that are about 10-12 weeks old from the date of the mother’s last menstrual period, so 8-10 weeks gestation. Technically this places them between the embryonic and fetal stages.
I thought this pic was pretty neat, it’s an 8 week old embryo taken from an ectopic pregnancy. I found it on Wikipedia:
I thought that was pretty cool. I’ve been collecting pictures of embryos for years and pasting them in my sketchbooks (thinking they were fetuses, d’oh) but I think the one above is my favourite. I wish my printer was better so it would have printed clearly but I gots what I gots. I don’t know why I like embryos so much, I just do. I think they’re super cute with their giant foreheads and big bellies. I also like how they symbolize different things – vastly different things – for different people.
Last night I finished reading How To Get Ideas by Jack Foster and I wanted to share two parts with you because I thought they were pretty good.
“George Ade was a prolific writer in the early part of this century. I once read an interview of his mother by a man who was not an admirer of her son’s work, and he was indelicate enough to ask her about George’s alleged capricious style and wobbly structure and shallow characterizations.
Finally Mrs/ Ade had enough/ “Oh I know that many people can write better than George does,” she said. “But George does.”
It’s one of the finest things anybody’s ever said.
In two words it crystallizes what happens with so many people (me included), namely: They get an idea, they tell some people about it, the people all say, “Wow, that’s great!” and then they go on to something else and never do anything about the idea they told people about.
I think the reason is: “Wow, that’s great!” is reward enough. It gives you that nice warm glow that comes from knowing you got a really good idea, that everybody thinks you’re a whiz.
But if nothing else happens with your idea, if it doesn’t help someone, if it doesn’t save or fix or create something, if it doesn’t make something better or solve some problem, what good is it really?“
And then he goes on to say that you shouldn’t tell people your ideas or you shouldn’t let “Wow, that’s great!” be enough, which I think is really fucking smart. I am absolutely horrible for this. I blog about my ideas all the time and then it’s like once I talk about them, the magic is gone and then all I’m left with is *work*. I hate work! Everyone hates work! (If you believe that “work” is anything that isn’t fun.) If I don’t tell you guys my idea and I just do it, the whole time I’m making something, I think “wait till they see this! They’re going to love it!” and that fuels my creation of the whatever it is. (And then when no one comments, I feel like shit, but that’s a whole other thing.) The key though, is not to tell and I am a terrible secret keeper if it’s my own secret. I want to tell everyone everything and I’m pretty sure, as Jack Foster believes, that hurts me in the long run.
So I’m not going to blog about my ideas anymore (in full) or my paintings until they’re finished as much as that’s going to pain me.
Here’s another thing in the book:
“More often than not,” Bud said, “people don’t fail; they stop trying.“
That’s me too. Lately I’ve been kinda bitching and moaning in real life about how “everything’s been done” but then at the same time saying “everything hasn’t been done, everyone says that and then someone does something new so why can’t that be me?” but then I don’t do the legwork. I don’t actively sit there and try to think up ideas. Then again, I never have. The book says you should do that but that’s just not my process. I’m getting off track though; the book says that people stop trying and this week I’ve stopped trying on so many counts it’s ridiculous.
First, until today, I didn’t do anything actively to throw myself into being an idea factory. The book says, and I agree because I’ve been doing it my whole life, that in order to get ideas you should pick a subject and immerse yourself in it, become an expert at it and then forget about it and do something else. The key though, is to DO SOMETHING ELSE. Don’t just sit there and do nothing. DO SOMETHING. And then the idea will just come to you while you’re doing something else. That’s how I get 99% of my ideas and it’s also a scientifically proven method, according to the book.
Second, on Monday I started painting the forget-me-nots on “Menopause” and then Blake wanted to go to Wal*Mart so I had to stop and that broke my flow and I never got back to it. Then, to make matters worse, I blogged about “Menopause” prematurely (look, I’m doing it again!) and now I feel like all the magic is gone out of it and all I’m left with is the tedious task of all these goddamn forget-me-nots. I also posted pics of it on Camwhores on Tuesday or yesterday (I forget), so now that community’s already seen it and it won’t be a surprise when I post it.
I started making a process video of the making of “Menopause” but due to the feedback I got on my self portrait one, I’m worried that since “Menopause” is such a huge piece that’s taken weeks to create that the video will be too long and people will find most of its making too tedious. I think I should make it anyway and if people don’t want to watch it theyh have that option, but it’s not really a huge motivator to continue.
Then today…ugh, today…we’re supposed to go to a gallery opening tonight and I really don’t want to go. I would rather stay home and paint. But, this specific gallery, which I’ll get into in more detail after the opening I’m sure, could be a place for me to show my work in the future so I kinda feel like if I want to go that route with my work, this is my only chance to get my foot in the door somewhere. Also, if the curators are sincere in their naming of the gallery and what the gallery’s supposedly all about, then it IS the right place for my work, if they want it. I have to see what they’re hanging tonight to know for sure, so that means washing my face and hair and putting on actual clothes that don’t have elastic waistbands and leaving the house which I am absolutely loathe to do. It helps that I’m going to know 2 or 3 other people who are going, but not a whole lot. I’m also worried about drinking because they seem really unorganized and they said there will be beer and wine for sale but I don’t drink either and would really like a bottle of water or a diet Coke. I don’t know if that’ll be an option (it should be, but like I said, they seem really disorganized). I also don’t know if there’s going to be food there so should we eat beforehand? I’m also afraid of looking like shit. And what to wear. And what bag to bring. And all that shit that goes along with being me and being agoraphobic etc etc etc. I don’t want to go, but I have to go.
This is me not trying. This is me giving up. And I need to snap the fuck out of it before I make myself insane. I need to stop writing this post, absorb everything I learned about embryos today and paint some goddamn forget-me-nots until it’s time to get ready.
“O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.“
Not one single ant on my desk today. GREAT SUCCESS! I WON THE WAR! In your FACE Nature!
Now that that’s out of the way, I bring you (finally) “Menarche”.
Menarche (pronounced “men-ar-kee”, like “men-o-paws”) is a girl’s first menstrual period, which occurs usually around age 13 (that’s the global average). This painting was inspired by Madison’s menarche experience and not my own. Mine was very negative because it happened very early (age 9) and I didn’t know what was going on, my Aunt Heather had to tell me and since I didn’t want to tell my parents, she provided the pads (I also used my mom’s o.b. tampons sometimes when I was about 11). Like many girls who started young, I thought there was something very wrong with me when I noticed the spots of bright red blood in my underbums. And that’s the thing with menarche, usually the blood is bright red as opposed to the brownish blood you get as you age.
Yes, that’s glitter.
With Madison’s menarche, I was ready for it having had such a negative experience with my own. I started telling her about periods when she was about 4 years old and the dialogue continues to this day. When Madison came to me one day last year (luckily it was *before* I went into the hospital, I believe it was April) and told me that she thought she was having her first period, I asked her to come into the bathroom and show me her underwear. Lo and behold, there was bright red blood in the crotch of her panties, so I gave her some disposable pads to use and called Blake to pick up more on his way home from work.
That day, I think I made a friends-only or filtered Live Journal post about the event because somehow my friend Deanna knew about it and she contacted me to ask if she could go halves on a Lunapads teen kit for Madison, which I accepted and which Madison has been using ever since. Lunapads are reusable menstrual pads and I think they’re amazing. Since switching to Lunapads myself, I haven’t had any yeast infections which I used to get all the time.
I love my Lunapads and (not that I’m getting periods these days because of medication/being sick) would never give them up, but Madison came to me last night and asked if she could switch to either disposable pads or tampons and while I didn’t tell her this, I was really disappointed in her decision because I thought with starting her off with Lunapads to begin with, I was starting her off “right” and that she would always be period positive and she IS period positive, she just sees it as a fact of life and deals with it but she finds the Lunapads bulky and she thinks disposable pads would be less bulky. She’s absolutely wrong of course, and I told her that, so that’s when she asked about tampons.
I have less of a problem with disposable tampons than I do with disposable pads because tampons, as long as they don’t have an applicator, are nowhere near as bad for the environment as pads are with their plastic liners. Tampons, essentially, are just cotton. They still take a really long time to break down in the environment, but not nearly as long as a disposable pad. My issue with tampons though, is that they cause irritation and for me, they caused bladder and yeast infections roughly every 3 months, not to mention the fact that they made the pain from endometriosis that much worse.
Madison doesn’t have bad cramps or endometriosis so that’s less of an issue, but I did tell her that if she wanted to use tampons, I would be okay with her using o.b. tampons without an applicator as long as she promised to never flush them down the toilet, that they were disposed of properly and that she promised me that she would be very careful about leaving them in too long. The only caveat was that she would have to buy them herself with her own allowance because we already bought her perfectly good Lunapads, disposable tampons are not a necessity they are a luxury.
Having said that, I did offer her another solution: we would buy her a DivaCup. A DivaCup, being an insertable, has all the benefits of a tampon but none of the risks and none of the environmental impact. It is a cup that you put deep inside your vagina which collects the menstrual blood and then when it’s time to change it, you carefully pull it out, empty the blood in the toilet or sink, rinse it and re-insert it. As an added benefit, the DivaCup has no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome, or yeast infections and you only have to empty it every 12 hours so she wouldn’t have to empty it at school, whereas with tampons they should be changed every 4 hours. The DivaCup is also only $34.99 whereas a box of tampons is like, $9 or $10 with tax and you may need more than one box per period. I believe the DivaCup is supposed to last 10 years so compare 3 or 4 DivaCups per lifetime vs a lifetime of tampons and financially the DivaCup is the obvious winner. Healthwise the DivaCup is the obvious winner. Environmentally the DivaCup is the obvious winner. Conveniencewise the DivaCup is the obviously winner. Obviously, she chose the DivaCup option and one will be purchased for her soon.
While initially I was disappointed in her wanting to use disposables from now on, I’m proud of her for not being squicked out about a few tablespoons of period blood and choosing the DivaCup instead of disposable anythings. This shows me that I did start her off in the right direction, even if it were a direction I hadn’t really anticipated. (I didn’t think she’d be comfortable with insertables for quite a while. She’s turning 14 in May.)
So that was last night’s period conversation with Madison. She didn’t want me to name this painting “Madison’s Menarche” but she said I could post all that I just did just to explain why I painted it the way I did. I just wanted it to be bright and shiny and sparkly and happy and “new” feeling, like the beginning of a brand new woman should be.
“Menarche” will be available for sale on my site soon.
Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned earlier in the making of this painting, it’s actually one in a pair but I haven’t even started working on the other one yet so there won’t be pics of it for quite a while. As I also think I said before, it’s going to involve crackle paste though, which I’ve never used before and I’m kind of geeked about.
In other art news, yesterday I edited video I took of me drawing a few weeks ago but I don’t really like how it turned out. The angle is all wrong. The reason I bothered editing it is to show that taping myself drawing or painting “right side up” is pretty much impossible because with that angle, you can’t see what I’m doing because I’m right handed. The only way I could show you how I draw or paint from the left side is if I had the camera around my neck because I work sideways or at a sideways angle all the time and to work straight up and down would feel completely unnatural to me and I doubt I could do it. Anyway, here’s the video:
I kinda think I like making process videos. It’s interesting for me to watch myself because I don’t even really think about what I do, I just do it. I also think, maybe, that a person might be more likely to buy a painting if they can see the process by which it was made. Do you think that might be true too? That’s another reason why I was taking pictures of myself holding finished paintings (which I forgot to do with “Menarche”, oops), it’s like…proof that I made it or something, like a signature. Especially since 1/4 of the time I make something, I forget to sign my name before varnishing and then it’s too late.
I was really good at advertising and marketing when I was in college, probably at the top, or pretty damn close to the top of my class. The guy who thought he was at the top had like, this fucked up rivalry with me that always annoyed me because I’m not really a competitive person, my philosophy is that we’re all in this together and the more we get together, together, together, the more we get together the happier we’ll be. Anyway, he took me out for breakfast this one time and was like “how come you can never come to class yet be so damn good?” and the only answer I had was – well first, that I actually wasn’t that good – that it might just be instinct. The problem though, is that I have extremely low self-esteem with most things, my own work in particular, and I find it incredibly difficult to market myself. And then I think, because I have such low self-esteem probably, that since I’m unable to market myself well, maybe I wasn’t so great in college either. But then I think of that breakfast and think that no, I’m just crazy and have low self-esteem. I’m also on a lot of drugs and haven’t flexed my advertising muscle in well over a decade so I’m just not the shark I once was. In fact, I can’t remember a single thing from college because I just stopped caring about advertising all together. I know good when I see it and I can make good when I want to, but don’t ask me what the tenets of marketing are because all you’d get from me is a blank stare because that shit’s boring. Instinct is where it’s at.
Today was a dressing change day and I took a pic of my wound for you guys since I haven’t done that since February:
As you can see, there are only 3 little areas left to heal, the two smaller ones are about the size of dimes and the middle part is about the size of a toonie. After those spots are healed, I’m still probably going to have to have a covering over the scar tissue because it’s brand new tissue and as a result it’s very very fragile. Even having it brushing against my clothing would likely reopen the wound.
And I think that’s really all I had to say in this update. Madison got her grad dress today and it is absolutely gorgeous but she’s forbidden me from showing you pictures of it and the only other thing I wanted to share was this article about Madonna’s Truth or Dare, which is out on Blu Ray as of yesterday I believe and which also happens to be on my wishlist if any generous third parties were interested in buying it for me. :o)
That’s all the poop that’s fit to scoop, enjoy the video and have a wonderful evening!
PS. My Oprah tickets came today! That’s the other thing I meant to mention! On the back of them it says you can’t bring STICKS! GLAD I READ THE BACK! BOY WOULD MY FACE HAVE BEEN RED IF I’D HAVE BROUGHT MY STICK!