Madison said that me being sick and almost dying didn’t affect her. She says she felt shielded from it, which I understand. She was 13 and whisked away to 3 different places (4 if you count summer camp) with 3 different sets of grandparents in 2 countries which is pretty far removed from what was happening in my hospital bed at St. Mike’s in Toronto. But I would think that her having to call 911 and come with me in the ambulance to the hospital (puking all the way there) and all that would be somewhat significant. She had to be the hero. And she did a good job. She should at least be proud of that.
But I’m not her and I can’t tell her how to feel.
The reason this came about is because she had an assignment to write an essay about the 4 most significant events in her life, like things that affected her.
We even brought up our dead cat, Digit and our dead dog, Zulu and she was like, “yeah, nope!”
She has no soul, I swear to god. She didn’t even cry at the end of The Notebook, for fuck’s sake.
I don’t know what she chose for the assignment.
So Touched By Fire’s call for entries is happening right now. The e-mail came in a few days ago. They lost one of their big sponsors and as a result they’re charging a submission fee of $20 to enter, I’m assuming non-refundable if you don’t get in. Since I didn’t paint anything angsty or bipolar-y it’s doubtful that I’d get in so I just filed the e-mail. They don’t even have a venue yet and they’re also not printing a catalogue.
This is the art show for people with mood disorders that I do almost every year (the year I didn’t get in I submitted happy, glittery mermaids and angels), which is held by the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario, which I think is funded by the government.
They made me mad last year by asking us to fundraise for them and in return the person with the highest amount of donations would have their work featured at, and you would get to go to, a black tie gala that the MDAO holds for important people with chequebooks because that’s like buying publicity and I found that sort of insulting. Especially since, aside from this art show, the MDAO hasn’t helped me in any way with my mental health or any of the other things they do in other areas. And we have a high rate of mental health problems in this area. One of the big psychiatric hospitals is only 35 minutes away from me! I’ve seen their logo once, like on a flyer for one activity at the mental health clinic, but that has been it. (And I keep an eye out because it always astounds me how little of a presence they have here.)
Anyway, I don’t see the point in submitting, especially when I have to pay for it. You’re allowed to submit 5 pieces but I only have 1 to show. This one:
And it’s proooobably not moody enough for this stupid show (I don’t think all the artwork should be moody and illustrate mental illness and last I checked, happiness was a mood).
Anyway I have to work in an hour and 15 minutes so I’d better find something to eat.
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