March 26, 2013

The absolute worst part about being on meds.

I miss mania.

I miss staying up for 4 days straight and just creating in the most primal way imaginable.

I miss making things like this.

Or this.

Or this.

Or this.

Or this:

I’m so homogenized now.

Sometimes – secretly – I think it’s all a big conspiracy to keep me tamed.

Like I was a threat that had to be put down.

But I know that’s not true. I do.

Except that’s how it feels.

To be a shell of your former self.

2 Comments

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  1. Tracy says:

    “To be a shell of your former self.”

    I understand this 100%

    Since becoming a mom I have completely lost who I was. It’s gotten worse over the past 5 years since I stopped working and became a full time stay home mom. I have no hobbies, no interests. I have nothing. I am a shell of a human who exists solely to care for my family. Now that my youngest has started full-time school I have realized I am barely a person anymore. So now I struggle with trying to figure out who I am now. I used to LOVE things and be really into things, have hobbies etc. I am not that person anymore and I am having a hard time figuring out who I am now aside from wife and mom.