March 15, 2013

I Think I’m Dumb, Maybe Just Happy

Oh god, I watched about 10 minutes of my members show at Camwhores from my birthday and I am NEVER drinking again.  Singing is NOT my strong suit as we now have permanent evidence of. (Plus, y’know, the 4 days of pancreatic hell I went through after the fact and the drooling mess of a hydromorph junkie I became as a result.)

Yesterday I had CBT which was kind of entertaining in that the whole class ganged up on the ladies running it and basically said that the class was completely unproductive. I felt bad for them, especially the social worker who’s mostly running it (she’s very young), but I couldn’t disagree. We did finish doing our thought records though and as soon as I actually complete one of mine, I’ll show you. I haven’t really been doing anything or going anywhere so I haven’t really had use for one so I personally haven’t completed one. At the end of the chapter we read yesterday they said something about how “after you completely 30-50 thought records, you will begin to start having balanced thinking” and I was thinking, “I have to do 50 of these fucking things?????” I just don’t see how in the middle of an emotional crisis, especially one in public, whipping out a piece of paper and doing a thought record is going to be at ALL helpful. Honestly, I think the whole thing is just a little bit bullshit and completely impractical and as long as I think that, it’s not going to work.

And that is literally all I have to say about CBT at this very moment.

After CBT yesterday, Blake and I went to see Oz, the Great and Powerful and I LOVED IT. Well worth the price of admission and I think the 3D was actually really well done and I’m glad I got to see it in the theatre. The showing was at 3:30pm and it’s March Break so the theatre was full of kids and at one point this poor girl to the left of me, maybe about 7 or 8 years old, was SOBBING. I felt so bad for her and wondered if she’d seen the Victor Flemming original because if you have, then that part wouldn’t really be sad. Or at least because I know what happens after the fact, it wasn’t sad for me. I’m trying not to give spoilers here so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Anyway it was excellent and Mila Kunis was absolutely phenomenal.

Today Wes and I watched the 1939 original which I hadn’t seen in about 10 years and I was surprised that I still knew every single word, having seen it at least 200 times starting when I was about 8 and my Aunt Betty got me a copy of the movie on VHS for Xmas and then for my birthday she took me to see a stage production of it and we went to Mr. Green Jeans for dinner and on our way back to wherever we parked after the show, I actually got to meet the dog who played Toto in the film because he took the subway home too.

The only thing that bugged me, or rather had me puzzled, was in Oz, the Great and Powerful, Glinda said she was the witch of the South and on the map in the movie, her domain/kingdom/whatever is definitely to the Southeast of the Emerald City but in the original movie, Glinda says she’s the good witch of the North. So I wonder which one is following the books and which one isn’t or maybe something happens in the books and Glinda takes over new territory or something. I dunno but now I want to read the books to figure that out. Being extremely poor at the moment due to a trip to Michael’s and buying wish tickets on Etsy and going to the movies at fifty goddamn dollars for the two of us, I’m going to have to get over my issues with libraries if I want to read the books. But first I have to get through The Walking Dead compendium two (I’m halfway finished) and the three (?) trades that follow it (I just have the one so far because the comic shop didn’t have the other two).

So far today I’ve managed to work, sleep, watch The Wizard of Oz with Wes and work on my copper angel painting. I’ve also been brainstorming new ideas for paintings, the latest being a Dorothy Gail girl (possibly the lion, scarecrow, tin-man and Toto too if I bust open my biiiiiiig canvas that I have yet to find a practical use for), a goth fairy using this webbed ribbon I got at Michael’s last weekend for wings and a painting with the colour scheme of brown and pink. And of course I have two paintings planned with the wish tickets I got on Etsy (I also got them in pink), as well as at least one painting using beer tickets I got at the dollar store a few years ago and just rediscovered. So many ideas, so little motivation.

On Wednesday we had a meeting with the Springwater Guild of Artists and Artisans that revolved around the planning of doing “something” around Maple Syrup Festival (which is on 4/20 and a Saturday so I double will not be participating, I’m pretty sure) and the planning of the fall studio tour, which I’m not sure I’ll be participating in either. I guess for the latter, last year they had funding from the province to do it which they may not be able to get this year so the idea now is to get corporate sponsors but everyone (including me) is so non-committal and disorganized that not much was really accomplished during the meeting. We need to come up with sponsorship packages but we’re somehow supposed to come up with that before knowing what kind of advertising we’re going to be doing. I didn’t volunteer the fact that I have a background in advertising because I just did not want to go there and commit to anything when I don’t even know if I’m going to be doing the tour to begin with. Plus, unless we have advertising avenues that we can share with sponsors besides our brochure for the tour itself, there’s really not a whole lot I can do. (And they definitely want a brochure over a booklet, which leaves a lot less ad space for sponsorship opportunities.) Last year they spent $9500 on the tour and there’s not a chance in hell we’re going to make even a fraction of that with tiny ads in a brochure and entry fees. (Entry to the tour for artists is $75 on top of your membership fee of $50. That means I have to sell at least one painting just to break even – not even counting the fact that I’ll be losing a day’s pay by taking the Saturday off – which I’m not sure I will because no one’s told me how the tour translated as far as sales – and I’m not sure who or how to ask – and I don’t do ANYTHING for “exposure”. The most information I’ve been able to ascertain is that on each day of the tour, which is two days, people got between 50-60 visitors. And now that I think about it I may have that wrong and that was total visitors and I don’t know how that compares to other tours in better populated areas.) I mean, they kept saying we needed to come up with “sponsorship packages” but…all we have to offer is a few ads on a brochure…how the fuck are you supposed to make one “package” let alone several tiers of packages with that? Printed adspace is CHEAP and for this to work, we would have to be competitive and appeal to their community spirit, which is a tough sell when we’re for profit and not supporting a charity. They came up with lots of people to ask about sponsorship during the meeting but nothing to really offer them in return so I’m not sure how they expect that to work. It was unclear as to whether or not they were going to try for funding from the province again but I don’t see how this is going to happen any other way.

As a newcomer, not so much a local, I don’t know anyone and the youngest, I didn’t feel right offering much in the meeting (except that we needed more advertising avenues to offer sponsors, which got pretty much ignored) so maybe I should just shut up. We only meet once a month and the tour is 6 months away so that’s only 6 meetings so it’s not like we have a lot of time to hum and haw and look at the floor here.

But what do I know…?

I guess we’ll see what happens at the next meeting…the lady who did most of the legwork for the provincial funding last year wasn’t there and no one else wanted to take it on so I guess it really boils down to what she has to say (which I don’t think is fair at all, but I don’t know her or what exactly she did last year except that it was a pain in the ass).

And if I DO do the tour, I’m definitely going to have to come up with a definitive policy in regards to commissions because I’m betting a lot of people are going to ask me about that. Survey says: absolutely not. But what’s a nice way to say that? Like to actual people, face to face? I mean, I’ll do them for people I know who aren’t total tools, who can afford me and whose ideas don’t suck, but not for your average Joe because it’s always more trouble than it’s worth.

So if anyone has any ideas there, that would be extremely helpful.

Annnnnd now Blake’s home and I just got pornstar money in the mail so I think this means I’m having Pie for dinner.

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