October 2, 2012

I am so happyyyyyyy!!!!!!

So last night Blake and I were in bed talking (way past our bedtimes) and we got onto the topic of Squam and how he really wanted to go and that I really wanted him to go too but there would be no way I’d be able to raise the funds x 2 through my site to make that happen since raising the funds for just me was really difficult. And then he said, “well theoretically we could use my bonus…” to which I practically jumped on him because YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be amazing!!!! I want to introduce him to so many people and things like the wish tree and the art fair and the dining hall that made us so much delicious food (he’s a foodie) and of course Thea and Elizabeth (the founder of Squam, who actually wrote a really nice blog post on Thea today, which you can read here)!

The only thing is that we’ll still need money for gas and incidentals so I have to talk to my mom about exactly how much gas was and then estimate incidentals once we know what classes we’ll be taking and what the kit fees will be etc.

This is good news indeed! And EXTRA good news is that I told Belinda this this morning while we were working and she was like “I’m in!” and she said her boyfriend Brian wanted to come again too SO YAY! ALL OF US ARE PROBABLY GOING!!!!!!! I am so fucking excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope so so hard that Thea will be teaching an intermediate photography class!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my other choice will be Alena Hennessy’s “Abundant Wild Life” if it’s offered again next year. It’s a painting class but in the dining hall people would leave their projects on a table and the ones from her class were consistently good and I couldn’t figure out the techniques they were using to get some of the effects so it wouldn’t be like the Pages and Paint class I took this time where I already knew everything. Or maybe I might take some kind of sewing class or a writing class. Pretty much I’ll take whatever Blake wants to take so we can be in the same class together! IT’S GONNA BE SO FUN!!!!!

The thing about using Blake’s bonus though is that it means we won’t be able to move this summer as planned. I don’t see how we were going to do that anyway, but his bonus was going to go towards a downpayment on a new house. I told him that if it were up to me alone, we wouldn’t move until at least Madison was out of high school, keeping in mind that Madison will be out of high school before Wes starts so if we move after Madison’s out of high school and before Wes starts, then he can start grade 9 in a new high school and it would be less traumatic than taking both kids out of school and away from their friends and putting them in new schools. I think it’s important that Madison, since she’s enjoying high school so much, finish high school with the rest of her friends. Especially because despite the fact that it’s a tiny high school, I actually like it. I like the house system. I like how involved in the community the kids are. And yeah, I’m not the hugest fan of this town because there’s really nothing here for me except the post office and the grocery store but I think I would be pretty lost without my shrink and the mental health centre which is about 20 mins away and I like being 10 mins away from the beach which is pretty much my favourite place on Earth. If it were up to me alone, we would move closer to the beach so I could walk there or to Midland, which I really like, but I know that’s not a possibility.

The fact of the matter is, it’s completely up to Blake because he’s the one who has to get up at 6am 4 times a week to drive 2 hours to work and then 2 hours home so he doesn’t get home until 6:30pm. That’s a long day, especially in the summer considering that we don’t have air conditioning in our car. If he can’t do the drive and we need to move, I will absolutely support that 100%, I don’t want him to burn out, but it wouldn’t be my preference.

The other awesome thing is that my friend Ming told me about this stuff called ALPHA BRAIN which is a “nootropic” which is a fancy name for “shit that helps you remember stuff” and I ordered a bottle. From what I can tell, it’s a mixture of vitamins and herbs and they use it for people with Alzheimer’s and they have a money back guarantee. It’s pretty expensive though at $34.95 for 30 pills and I think you”re supposed to take 2 pills a day.

I don’t really talk about it because it scares me and it’s kind of embarrassing but since I started taking psychiatric medications, my memory has gone to shit. Blake and I can have entire conversations, hours long, and a week later I’ll forget it ever happened. He constantly has to tell me things repeatedly or I’ll forget them. He always says “I told you this like a week ago” and I won’t believe him because how could I have forgotten such an important detail? And it feels like he’s trying to manipulate me by taking advantage of the fact that I have a really bad memory. He’s not (probably) but at the time that’s what it feels like. It’s the same with Madison, I’ll be like, “why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” and she’ll say she told me a few days ago and I’ll have zero recollection. Now, it’s entirely possible that she is taking advantage of me because she’s manipulative like that sometimes but it’s still a problem and it scares the shit out of me that it’s a sign of early onset dementia or something which I’d be prone to by being mentally ill to begin with. I don’t know if 30 pills is enough to really test whether or not ALPHA BRAIN actually works but Joe Rogan apparently swears by the stuff which is how Ming found out about it so I guess we’ll see.

The final awesome thing I did today was I ordered more flower essences from Lotus Wei so now I’ll have all of them but the love one because I don’t need that one. I ordered both the mists and the serums of Quiet Mind for right before bed (“dissolve tension, quiet the mind, sleep soundly”) and Inspired Action for right before leaving the house (“get it done, stay motivated, clear & decisive”). Wes really loves the essences and asks for them now. Last night before bed, I offered Blake some Inner Peace  but he said he was good so I sprayed myself and suddenly, like a little shadow, Wes was there saying “I’d like some Inner Peace” so I sprayed him and then Madison was standing behind him asking for some too. Then today before school, Wes asked for both Joy Juice and Pure Energy because he was running late and needed the energy to walk to school and he wanted the Joy Juice so he”d have a good day at school. That’s why I decided to go ahead and order the other ones even though I’d be putting them on Visa and paying them off over a few paycheques. (I had a 10% off coupon code too so the cost wasn’t too terrible and they really do last a long time.) I believe they work and even if it’s just the power of suggestion, I don’t care. The kids believe they work too and I think they’ve been a positive thing in our lives in the short time we’ve been using them. I think a spray of Quiet Mind and maybe some Inner Peace before bed would be good for all of us.

And that’s been my day so far. I’ve been spraying myself liberally with Pure Energy all morning and I’m wiiiiiide awake! I had steak for breakfast/lunch, which Belinda helped me cook because I didn’t know how (it was okay…not my favourite way to cook steak [ in the oven]) and for the rest of the day I’m going to work on learning Lightroom. And getting caught up on e-mail because I’m behind.

Also in case I haven’t mentioned it in a while, just about all my paintings are still in my Etsy shop for cheap and I don’t plan on making any more like these so now’s the time to buy! Another thing is that I have lots of cool stuff like stickers, greeting cards and posters and iPhone cases available in my Zazzle shop! In fact I *just* sold another iPhone case and a sheet of stickers over the weekend so thank you whoever you are! I appreciate your business!

Okay, off to tackle Lightroom and e-mail…

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