August 3, 2012

Something Extra

So guess what I have? I bet you didn’t guess a third nipple. BECAUSE THAT’S TOTALLY WHAT IT IS. Lookit:

Top of my incision, like a little vanilla swirl. It’s terrible and it needs to go away. I would rather have some grotesque scar than…that. But I dunno if I can ask her to fix it. Dr. Hanrahan said if there was anything I didn’t like, that she could fix it  and I really really don’t like this. My bellybutton is absolutely deformed and doesn’t go anywhere (like it’s for show only, you can’t stick your finger in my bellybutton like you could before this whole mess started) but I don’t care about that that’s just par for the course, that’s part of my battle scars, but an extra nipple right between and below my boobs is just, no. She can just freeze me and cut it off, I don’t care.  It’s not like I can feel anything there anyway. Not yet. Maybe never.  Doesn’t matter. Unless someone comes up with something REALLY REALLY funny to call this thing, I’ll cut it off myself, bit by bit with the nail clippers if I have to. The only funny thing I’ve been able to come up with so far is “witch’s teat” but that only made Blake laugh. And he’s stupid and will laugh at dumb shit so he doesn’t count.

Anyway, yeah…that’s my show & tell for today. Have a wonderful weekend.

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