July 16, 2012

Polaroid 300 Camera With Holga Fisheye Lens (and other things)

Yesterday was a good day.

Yesterday afternoon, Ronny and Alex came over and Charlie and Blake cooked us all steaks, potatoes and baked beans for dinner, which was awesome. (Except I didn’t have beans because beans are evil, disgusting things from the fiery pits of hell but I bet they sure made Madison happy.)

While the menfolk were cooking, Alex and the kids and I went over to the park where I brought the Polaroid and we screwed around with the fisheye and wide lenses. I’m still working on a post about the wide and tele lenses because you’d think they’d be straight forward, but they’re not, really, so like I said I’m still working on that post but I figured that in the meantime, I’d do a post about the fisheye lens which I like a lot.

These pictures of Wes were actually taken about a week and a half ago and were my first foray into the fun and exciting world of fisheye lenses:

These are just the 3 pictures that turned out the best, there were plenty of outtakes with Wes but nowhere near as many as there was with Madison. With Wes the challenge was getting close enough. I’d never used the fisheye lens before so I had no idea how close I needed to be and unlike the rest of the lenses, there’s nothing written on the outside of the lens to indicate how close you should be so you just kinda have to guess.

With Wes (well, and with Madison since she’s on the slide too) I had tio get all the way to the top of the slide to take these pics. Like, I was standing on the ground and he was at the top of the slide and I was standing as close to the platform at the top of the slide as I could get.

With Madison yesterday, initially I was having light issues because we were under a severe thunderstorm warning and so the sky was that white, bright kinda of sky that you get on summer days when it’s supposed to rain. Like, it was bright outside, but the sun wasn’t directly shining on anything. Also because of where we were, the sun was right over top of us and that made lighting the slide just a little bit more difficult, especially when it’s metal and it reflects the light the way it does.

Once we got the lighting situation figured out, it was pretty easy to get decent shots with this lens. The key to it, I guess, is to be taking pictures from below your subject, but maybe there are other applications to the fisheye lens that I’m not aware of. I didn’t really research what to do with it, I just went with what I thought would make sense and it paid off.

This is the money shot, but the scan doesn’t do the image justice:

The actual photo is less washed out and is actually sort of a silvery toned image. I’m actually kinda proud of this one, especially since Madison was being sort of uncooperative (not knowing what to do/how to pose) so I sort of played around with her and tried to get her to make the face I wanted her to and when she finally did, I snapped the pic quick without even looking through the viewfinder because I didn’t want Madison to feel self-conscious that a photo was going to be taken at any moment.  And also because the viewfinder is wonky and most of the time I don’t use it because it’s actually better sometimes not to. What you see in the eyepiece and what your lens see are two completely different things and I find that my camera is off by a lot and it depends on the lens as to which way and how far off it is.

My only real beef with the Holga Fisheye Lens for the Polaroid 300 is that goddamn ring around each photo. It could be called a “vignette” I guess but really, it’s just that you’re taking a pic of the inside of the damn lens and that sucks, you lose so much of your photo space because of that and there’s nothing you can do about it! Is this poor craftsmanship? Because as far as I know, these lenses are only for the Polaroid 300 and the Fuji equivalent. In fact they’re actually made for the Fuji one but the Fuji one is supposedly identical to my Polaroid so I’m lefty thinking that the problem is with the lens itself. Is mine messed up? I dunno, there’s no blog posts about these lenses on the internet as far as Google’s concerned as I write this so there’s nothing for me to compare them to. I kinda don’t think mine’s a defect though, I think this is the way it is. I think it’s the tele lens that does the same thing and then the wide lens does it a bit on the right hand side. The macros did it.  I think that’s just the way they’re made, which is kind of a shame because I don’t imagine it would be too difficult to make a better product. I can practically hear Blake shrieking in my head that they’re shitty lenses for a shitty camera and I should quit expecting them to produce Digital Rebel quality images from them and I don’t really, but I do think it’s possible to take a GOOD photo with any instrument by fluke or by talent or by a little bit of both, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m colouring with ALL the crayons in the box and I fucking love instant photography. I wish it wasn’t so damn expensive but when you have a little but of room to play, it’s fucking FUN.

And I’m definitely taking the Polaroid and all the film I have here (90 pics) with me to the hospital where I’m going to be for like, 6 days with nothing to do. I’ll probably end up just taking a billion pictures of Blake’s sexy ass which is absolutely fine by me. I’ll keep those bad boys in my wallet for, y’know, uh, later…

Actually though, I have this really neat green binder that says “Polaroids! Yay!” on the front of it and then all of the little pictures are in baseball card sheets chronologically. I’m going to start marking the ones I think are actually good and worth potentially “selling”.

Madison’s my first customer! haha She’s buying 50% of the digital rights to the “money shot”, above, because I told her she could have the actual photo for $10 since my time, my skill, my equipment, that was all worth money and that was how you have to price the final piece of one-of-a-kind art and in my opinion, the original of that one is a damn good picture! Definitely the best one that I’ve taken so far out of like, 40 pictures! “Skill”, right? haha I was still learning!

So she wants me to scan that one (which I will do a better job of for her use) so she can use it as her Facebook profile picture and I’m charging her $2.50! I find this incredibly amusing but she thinks it’s a good deal so who am I to argue? I thought she’d tell me to go fuck myself when I told her the price and I was gonna laugh and tell her I’d give her my crappy site scan for free (she’d just steal it anyway!) and that would be that but she didn’t so hey, $2.50! I can totally buy TWO apple danishes from the bakery down the street AND I bet I could get Madison to go get them (I’d give her one, it’s only fair and I’d dig enough change out of my buddha bank so Wes could go with her and get one too because they are fucking awesome – also I am not a dick).

We went to see the house beside my mom’s new house on Saturday and hol-ee shit. It is beautiful and immaculate and while it’s not the perfect house, I don’t love it, I could grow to love it once I felt that it was okay to make it mine. For example, the stairs don’t have a banister and spindles really. The “spindles” are like paddles with hearts cut out of them and I hated them on sight. They are cutesy and hideous and it would be one of my first priorities to make them disappear and be replaced with many potential ideas not unlike some of the ones I have pinned on Pinterest.

The bedrooms were spacious. What would be Madison’s room is fucking beautiful and makes me so jealous because I would have loved that room 15 years ago. I forgot to look at closet space in all the rooms but I believe there was a closet in the Madison room and one in the room they used as a weird upstairs sitting room (that would be Wes’ room). Dunno about master bedroom because it was creepy as hell in there and I didn’t want to go in and investigate. The guy who owns the place is apparently like, 70 years old and he moved downstairs into the back addition part of the house because he’s not well so it’s not even like he used the master bedroom or anything but there was like, a respect thing that I couldn’t get over like, I dunno, you just don’t barge into someone else’s bedroom and look in their closets, especially when that person is like, you’re elder and stuff. That’s just plain rude. So I didn’t check that out.

I *did* have to go into the guy’s bedroom though because he’s using the back addition as his bedroom and we had to be shown that part of the house and the little office inside of it and the bathroom and the back door. Something I noticed was that the one bathroom, upstairs I think, had a clawfoot bathtub so that’s a HUGE fucking bonus, even though that could mean there are no showers in the house. I didn’t notice any, I just know that the bathroom with the tub ONLY has the tub, there’s no showering apparatus attached. I forget how many bathrooms the house had, like, which were full baths and which were half baths. I know there was the one full bath upstairs but with no shower and then there was the little half bath  (I think?) bathroom in the new addition area of the house. That new addition area of the house would be my office and Blake would take the smaller office inside the addition (yay! we’re gonna be roommates!).

That’s part of my problem with this house: I don’t like where my office would be. The light sucks, in that, there really wasn’t any. Or at least that was my vibe from it, maybe there were curtains drawn that I didn’t notice or something. In my dream house, there is room for plants to thrive in my office. This was not that office…again, I don’t think. I definitely need to see it again. The living room was fine, the dining room was fine, the kitchen was fine by me but Blake and my mom were already discussing ways to change it. All I know is that it has a dishwasher, which will make the kids very very happy, Madison in particular whose only requirement for a house over the years was that it have a dishwasher. Now it’s a dishwasher and internet. You’d think the latter would be a given but it totally isn’t in these old houses in old towns.

The only other real problem with the house is that it needs a new roof and we need a fenced yard for the dogs UNLESS we can all train ourselves to walk them at least twice a day and pick up their poop which could happen but only if I lead the way and I don’t want that kind of pressure. :o/ We’ll see how it goes. Madison has committed herself to walking one dog, twice a day, even in the winter, that’s how much she wants us to get this house. Maybe if I went with her we could do it together. Maybe we could drag my mom along with us and 3 generations of Crittenden women could take a walk around the block together.

I figure a new roof is going to be around $10k and a fence would probably be around $2500-$3k. I  believe the house is listed at $289k. I say we make our first offer like, $225k. That’s just what my gut says to put on the table at first, also considering that we’re going to roll our car into our mortgage so our monthly bills won’t be as high. There’s a lot of cosmetic stuff we have to do before we can list our house but Blake’s going to be working from home for the summer since I’ll be unable to lift en-nee-thing, to quote Dr. Hanrahan, and that means he’ll have more opportunity to do those things and work toward this house. Will it happen? I’m not sure. The guy could decide not to sell after all or someone could come in and buy the house before we can, these things happen. I figure if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen and if it’s not, that’s okay too. We’re looking in other areas as well. It would just be really really good to live next door to my mom, we all think. Xmas morning…! I think it’ll be good to get the children into the Durham Region Board of Education’s system. The Simcoe Board of Ed. here is ridiculously horrible. Like, the only book Madison’s class “read” this year was The Hunger Games – and guess what else! – it was read TO them. Yeah. In grade 8. By their teacher. And that was only to justify the class going on a field trip with “educational merit”. Blake wrote Madison’s teacher and asked her not to let Madison use a calculator and the teacher wrote back saying “okay…” Then we come to find out that Madison had been using a calculator in class anyway. Talk about lazy teaching. The high school Madison will be going to will be a lot more challenging, actually Wes’ school will be too probably. These are good things!

I suppose I should talk about surgery considering the fact that it’s on Thursday and I may not update until after it’s over (or I’m dead). I dunno what there is to really talk about. The surgery is called “repair of massive ventral hernia with mesh/component separation + cholecystectomy”. What Drs. Hanrahan and Ward will be doing is cutting me open down the middle from just under where my ribs meet all the way down to my waist and they will remove the gall bladder while rearranging my guts and putting them back where they’re supposed to be. Then they’ll shove all my guts back into my body and sew everything up tight. She said I may still have  a “bulge” where my guts may not have been able to have fit anywhere else but that’s a hell of a lot better than looking like, 8 months pregnant so I’ll take it.

I’m going to be having an epidural, which I’m pretty scared about because what if they mess up and paralyze me for the rest of my life? Or what if the fluid in my spine leaks out the epidural hole? That would probably be a bad thing, right? And how do they keep the epidural IN my spine? What’s to stop it from being pulled out?

I’m going to be knocked out for the surgery obviously, the epidural is just for pain afterward.

Tomorrow I have my preop in the morning so I’ll know more then, I suppose. I don’t know what a preop entails, hopefully not blood work, I’m so sick of being poked. I will definitely not miss that.

Anyway, Blake’s home so I better hit “post” on this sucker. I hope you had a wonderful day!


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  1. Tracy says:

    Will be thinking of you over the next few days. I look forward to Blake posting updates on his FB maybe? Take care <3

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