March 29, 2012

Things Considered.

I’m waiting for paint to dry. Story of my fricken life. Seriously.

My first 30 x 30 inch piece is pretty much finished, it just needs to dry. I also have to paint the sides and then varnish it, but after that, it’s completely finished. This afternoon I left the came running while I painted and uploaded all the pics to Camwhores. Here are a few of them:

(Me mixing glitter.)

You can tell in this pic where my old hair is and where my new hair is growing in.
My new hair is about to the middle of my ears.

So while I was painting this afternoon, I was thinking about what Silver said. I think she’s right that once the image I create leaves my space and goes out into the public, I lose control of it and I need to be okay with that. I’m not talking about copyright or anything like that, I’m talking about the meaning inferred. I can’t control what people read into what I create, which should be a “no duh” thing but it never occurred to me until recently that people may be inferring things into what I create that I never intended. I thought the incident with my friend and the 4 page long, intellectual bullshit e-mail was an isolated incident.

Don’t get me wrong here: I *accept* that this is what happens. That doesn’t mean I like it. I think intellectualizing pretty girls is stupid. Then again, I think intellectualizing most things is stupid and I do think, absolutely, that when you intellectualize a painting, you run the risk of being WRONG.

Example #1: The Scream by Edvard Munch. This whole section exists because there are right and wrong theories. I am not qualified to theorize on what Munch was thinking about or trying to convey in that painting. HOWEVER, as Charlie (woodoo24) said in this post, I *can* infer what it means TO ME. MsAnnaBanana in the same post actually illustrated that point better and made me understand the difference between the two.

Example #2: Dora Maar au Chat by Pablo Picasso. “The most embellished and symbolic element of the sitter’s wardrobe in this picture is her hat, Maar’s most famous accessory and signifier of her involvement in the Surrealist movement. Ceremoniously placed atop her head like a crown, it is festooned with colourful plumes and outlined with a band of vibrant red. Larger than life, an impression enhanced by her vibrant body that cannot be confined by the boundaries of the chair, Maar looms in this picture like a pagan goddess seated on her throne.” If someone said “I think her hat and the black cat represent that Picasso thought she was a witch,” THAT PERSON WOULD BE WRONG!!!! Therefore, it is absolutely possible to infer meaning to a painting that is WRONG and not what the artist intended at all. PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE TIME.  Maybe, like the article said, he had her wearing a hat because she wore hats all the time. Maybe things just are what they are. That’s all I’m saying. We don’t have to intellectualize everything an artist does. As they say, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Think whatever you want, go to town, but my girls are just pretty girls made to enchant children. *shrug*

With “Me, too.” I think my intent is pretty obvious. The title implies that I, too, like a lot of women, have had miscarriages. And then the picture itself illustrates that. The glowy effect of the uterus is like…well the intent was to kind of give the impression that the twins would be bathed in white light and would go to Heaven. I realize there’s no such thing as Heaven and in case I’ve never made it entirely clear, I’m a pretty determined atheist, but I think most women, deep down, whether they’re an atheist or not, wants to believe that the soul (or souls) inside them either go to a better place or that they “recycle” or reincarnate. I don’t believe in an afterlife per se, but I do believe in human energy and I do believe that the energy that animates us leaves our bodies when we die and goes into the collective unconscious and recycles into new people. I don’t think there’s some great, intelligent creator pulling the strings and orchestrating this whole thing, I just think it’s a natural process. Death is a natural process. I came close to giving the twins angel wings but I didn’t want it to seem too biblical. I made the background a nice aqua blue to say that, even though crappy things happen sometimes and they’re really painful, the sun still shines and there are days where there’s not a cloud in the sky.

Also while I was painting it, I was thinking that in books, bad things usually happen on “dark and stormy nights” when in reality, bad things happen on nice, sunny days too. Probably more often than not.

Anyway, I think all of that is really really obvious. And if it wasn’t then I did a really shitty job. Since we’re all sharing our feelings, I wonder what YOU thought of “Me, too.”? What did YOU get from it? Was I successful? Fucking critique me then, I’d love to hear it.

I know Jeck didn’t like the blue background because he thought there was too much negative space happening. What else ya got?

I’m also curious about this painting. It’s called “Beside Herself” and I painted it in…hmmm, I want to say 2003? What do you see here?

This is the next painting I’m going to put up for sale, I think. Another one I think I’m planning to put up is the one in my Live Journal avatar in this post. It seems pretty basic, a flower right? But it’s in a sunbeam and in person, if you look very carefully, the sunbeam has very fine glitter, like finer than actual glitter because it’s literally like, particles of metallic paint meant to convey that light itself is made up of particles. I suppose that one’s not as obvious as the rest of them because you have to look at it very carefully to see the particles but it’s cool once you see them.

I’m not putting any of my new paintings up on Etsy anymore because I don’t think they really fit in there. I might try putting “Camp Tampon” up on eBay just to see what happens. I have no illusions of actually selling it there but it’ll be interesting to see if anyone follows the listing to my site. Free-ish advertising, right? But the thing is though, that I’ve never really used eBay and I don’t know how to make a listing look nice. I’ve had an account since the dawn of time and I’ve bought and sold like, maybe 15 things there in the last 10 or 11 years but I still don’t really know how to use the site. When I buy things, I use the “Buy It Now” button every single time and I haven’t sold anything in like, a decade, so I’m not even sure how it works anymore. I guess I’ll figure it out.

So I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned her before but I keep getting sucked into the wormhole that is Gwenn Seemel’s blog. She blogs about art and she like, links to herself a lot all the time so you get caught clicking and clicking and clicking and it never seems to end. Right now I have this vlog, about how there are three kinds of artists and this article about how a masters of fine arts doesn’t necessarily make an artist queued up to read once I’m finished this post. You guys should check her out. Sometimes she kinda talks out her ass and is kind of snobby and elitist, but other times I think she’s absolutely brilliant and dead on. She also has endometriosis like I do so she blogs about that from time to time too and despite not seeing eye to eye with her on a lot of things, I really am a big fan of her portraits. I especially like “You Ain’t Nothing But An American Citizen” from her Apple Pie series.

Holy shit! Breaking news! Canada’s not going to be making pennies anymore! That’s just crazy!

And with that, I think I’m off to go draw another giant uterus and play with crackle paste. Smile! Tomorrow’s Friday!

I’m 72% toward my goal and could really use your support! 

PS. This is a great comment by Charlie.

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