December 31, 2011

Nothing Fancy.

So I made my little sign thing and as I was doing it, I got tired and just wanted it finished, so I kinda did a rush job. It took me forever to do the words at the bottom because I was using alphabet stamps and originally my plan was to make a FABULOUS sign and then scan & print copies, but I didn’t like the end product so I just cut the strips and called it a day.

I may try again. I think the rubber stamps looked good and I liked the hearts and flowers (I think I’d throw stars into the mix next time too), I just think my “Take what you need” text sucked because I did a rush job. Soooooooo I’m going to go throw on a movie and try again, now that I’ve had a nap and am better rested.

Posted at 5:21 pm in: Art , Crafts , DIY , pinterest

2011 was bullshit.

So it’s New Year’s Eve weekend and bloggers all around the world are writing up their year-end posts so I thought I’d do one too…except if I did one that was exclusively that, it would be a very short post. 2011 sucked balls.

To recap:

  1. I got sick and almost died.
  2. I got sick and spent 6+months (so far) still sick and deformed, with a gaping wound across my abdomen.
  3. I had to regrow my abdominal wall.
  4. I lost most of my hair.
  5. I lost my job. My really really good job. My first job.
  6.  I hardly made any art.
  7. I spent my anniversary in a medically-induced coma instead of eating ribs and strawberry pie.
  8. I put Blake and my mom through hell.
  9. I get to look forward to 2 more surgeries.
  10. We have no money and we’re slowly going into more and more debt.
  11. My gardens went to shit while I was sick.

So that’s the bad.I don’t think I’ll be able to come up with 10 good things, but here goes:

  1. I got into Touched By Fire this year and sold my painting to a complete stranger for a lot of money.*
  2. All my sources indicate that once my surgeries are over and done with, I can probably get my job back.
  3. My surgeon is awesome. She is basically the woman I wish I was.
  4. I am married to the most amazing person on the face of the Earth.
  5. My mom loves the shit out of me.
  6. My kids are still pretty great, despite Madison turning 13 and becoming a bit more of a challenge.
  7. I’M NOT DEAD.
  8. I am extremely grateful for the friends we have, all around the world, who pitched in and helped us this summer.
  9. TBA
  10. TBA

That’s all I can come up with without repeating myself.

I’m not very optimistic about 2012 either. I know that’s a pessimist thing to say, but it’s true. I’m going to start the year with a big, painful surgery that I’m going to spend weeks recovering from, then I have to suffer through S.A.D. for another harsh winter, we’re still going to be going further into debt until I get my job back (and I’m not sure what we’re going to do if I don’t get it back)…that’s just off the top of my head. A *good* thing going into 2012 is that we still have to call that lady from Touched By Fire to get my stuff in a gallery, so hopefully I can sell some paintings and gain some self-esteem in the new year. If I’m not working a 9-5, I might as well be painting my ass off right? That’s the way I see it. Once I get Argent’s painting finished, it’s time to start painting for profit again. Unfortunately though, I signed up for the Sketchbook Project Limited Edition, which I really shouldn’t have because I don’t have the time to really do a good job on it, so that’s going to be a thorn in my side until I mail it off in April. Truthfully, I’m thinking I may only do a few spreads rather than the whole book, and they can use those in the Limited Edition art book.

OH! Speaking of Art House Co-Op, my Fiction Project submission is now available in their online gallery! You can check it out HERE, it’s called “Eight Arms To Hold You” and it’s a children’s story about hugs. My favourite picture is the one with the sloth. We had a lot of fun doing it but it was also a lot of work, especially because I lost track of the due date and had to scramble, with the help of Blake and Madison, to get it in the mail on time.

So I know I’m a little obsessed with Pinterest and you guys are probably sick of hearing about it, but I thought I’d point out a couple of good finds from there anyway. The first thing is this, which I found about an hour ago:

Is that not an excellent idea? After I’m finished making this post, if I can’t get back to sleep, I’m going to make some of these and get Blake to put them up in the grocery store and the post office and then the grocery stores in Barrie too. Except mine are going to be prettier. I don’t know how I’m going to make them prettier yet, I just am. I’ll probably post the results when they’re finished because that’s just what I do.

The next thing I stumbled upon were crayon hearts. I *love* crayon hearts. No idea what crayon hearts are? These are crayon hearts, as done by Martha Stewart:

In 2004, I made a TON of these and used them for a photo shoot, as well as a mobile for Madison’s bedroom window.

Click the pic for the rest of the shoot. NSFW.

After seeing Martha’s hearts today I decided that our kitchen window, which has been in need of some kind of covering for a while now,  could use some crayon hearts. At first I was thinking crayon circles but then Blake and I decided that was much too “mod” for our country-ish kitchen, so hearts were the way to go. Since our kitchen is blue, the hearts will be blue, green, yellow and a bit of purple. Blake went to Wal*Mart tonight to get crumpets (our grocery store doesn’t stock them anymore, booooo!) so I got him to pick me up a curtain rod and a couple of boxes of CRAYOLA crayons. Store brand crayons are absolutely out of the question!

Well, they didn’t have boxes of 48, so Blake brought home two boxes of 96!

I know that everyone likes crayons. I think that’s a given. But I really REALLY love crayons and I spent an hour and a half, with Wes, freaking out over colours and crayon names. One box I’m going to leave intact for future art projects, but the other box I took apart, giving Wes all of them except the blues, purples, reds, pinks and some greens and a yellow. The reds and pinks I’ll use for future crayon hearts (you can do a lot with them, not just mobiles/curtains) and the rest I’ll use for the kitchen. Of course there will be pics when I’m finished. Aren’t there always? ;o)

Blake also brought home peanut butter cups, fresh ones, that I spent all evening devouring.

And now I think I’m going to go back to bed. I’ve had a terrible sleep schedule over the past month, getting up at 3am, then again at 5am and I’m just absolutely sick of it. I slept all night the last two nights so I thought maybe I’d gotten over it, but no…tonight I got up at 3:30am and now here I am writing a post.

Anyway, goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite!

(*Haylie: I didn’t get into Touched By Fire last year but I did get in the year before. Sorry I missed your text, I don’t use my phone much these days.)

“Real winners do not compete.”

What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland’s School Success

Posted at 5:45 am in: Childhood , Misc.
December 30, 2011

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

That’s right. Q-tips AND styrofoam.
If you want this ugly thing on your Xmas tree next year, here’s how to make it.

Posted at 5:46 pm in: Christmas , Crafts , DIY , Internet , pinterest , winter

I love him more than anything in the whole wide world.

Posted at 12:41 pm in: Blake , Sunnyland , winter

My Cat. Cool Cat.

The kids have been home all week, driving me and the pets absolutely bonkers. I never thought I’d see it, but the kids actually wore the cat down so hard that she slept on my bed for several hours in like, kitty fetal position. She was out cold! Normally she’d wake up when my camera turns on (it makes a tinkling sound) or when I take pictures of her using “burst”, but when I did it, she just opened her eyes at one point, gave me a dirty look and got comfier. Pics:

She’s cute and I love her.
Here’s the song “My Cat” by Jack Off Jill.
(Embedding disabled by request. Boooooo!)

Posted at 12:25 pm in: Animals , Pets , Pixel , Sunnyland , winter

This is adorable. She makes me want bangs.

Posted at 9:49 am in: Movies , Music , videos , youtube

You’re sorry you got caught.

This morning I decided to start reading up on the Paul Christoforo situation because I stopped following it for a few days and I went to his Twitter account and read that he linked THIS article. So I read the article. And it kinda pissed me off.


I’ll just start in order with the things that bugged me:

Yet despite all the drama, Christoforo said he hasn’t lost any of his other accounts, aside from Avenger. “It hasn’t affected my business yet,” he said. “Clients have brought it up, but they’ve mainly laughed about it. I haven’t lost any clients.”

I think that’s a pretty brazen thing to say, to be honest. That’s not “humble”, as he claims he is now, or “apologetic”, that’s arrogant. That’s like saying, “You missed me! You missed me! Now ya hafta kiss me!”  If I were the internet, I’d smack him twice as hard for that comment.

“I didn’t know who that guy at Penny Arcade was,” he admitted. “If I had known, I would have treated the situation a little better. PAX is a great show. What he does is what I’ve been idolizing since I was a kid. It’s admirable he’s put that together. He has a lot of connections, ones I want too.”

This is what he’s still not comprehending: it doesn’t matter WHO he was, you don’t treat *people* like garbage! His status in the gaming community shouldn’t matter! If you start off treating people nicely and with respect, then that’s (almost always) what you get back.

Yet while admitting he handled things badly, Christoforo said he also felt the situation could have been different if Krahulik approached the situation differently.

“He called me a bully, but he was being a bully … especially when he emailed me out of the blue, saying ‘That’s f***ing s***ty, you’re banned from PAX,’ I was like ‘Who the f*** are you? That’s how you introduce yourself? … I dont want to call him out, but he could have gone about that a totally different way, he could have said, ‘Hey, I run the show, that email was a little unprofessional, if you don’t do something to apologize I don’t want you at my show.’ But he just came at me and said, indirectly, ‘Hey, f*** you, you’re banned from PAX.’ Is that what you’d call professional? I wouldn’t.”

“BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!! HE STARTED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!” Give me a fucking break. You treat your customer like shit and someone sticks up for him and you don’t think he was professional? Please. Why should he be nice to you after that? And I read the e-mails, I don’t recall Mike/Gabe swearing at him.

Christoforo also said his response was driven in part by what he saw as the disrespectful tone of the messages that came before it. “Not that I don’t have respect for anybody, but if someone’s badmouthing me or being a little punk or being a jerk, they don’t deserve respect,” he said. “You can’t expect to go up and say ‘Hey you piece of s***,’ and expect respect. Send an email, introduce yourself. … I trust everybody until they give me a reason not to respect them. I’m not a tough guy, not a bully, but at same time not going to take s*** if it’s uncalled for.

Then you should be nowhere near customer service e-mails. Or any e-mails dealing with the public. At all. NewsFALASH: the customer should always be treated with professionalism and respect, even if they’re being a jerk, which the customer in question was NOT. You have to swallow your ego and weather the storm, that’s just how customer service goes. How is this not base knowledge?

As it has been said, all throughout the gaming industry already, Paul Christoforo isn’t sorry he treated his customer like shit, he’s sorry he got caught.  The guy is not smart and with this article, he’s just digging himself a deeper hole. What on Earth ever made him think that he’d be good at PR?

Edit: Here are a couple of other things to follow up with. Reddit/ADWEEK


December 29, 2011

Put on my best Sunday dress, I walked straight into this mess…

So basically I could absolutely murder Madison. Do you know what she fucking did? SHE E-MAILED ERIC CALDERONE AND TOLD HIM I’M AN OBSESSIVE SUPER FAN AND THAT IT WOULD MAKE MY CHRISTMAS TO GET AN E-MAIL FROM HIM. She said I would FAINT if I received said e-mail. She said I listen to his songs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. She also grossly exaggerated my health issues because she misunderstood when Blake told her to “play up” the health issue, not thinking Erock would even read her e-mail. Well he DID! And yesterday when I woke up at 3am, I checked my e-mail and lo & behold, there are TWO e-mails from him, one a letter and one a link to a file sharing site so I could download his EP for free.

This is what she said in her e-mail to him:

Hey E-rock,

So I’m sure as you know christmas is coming up, uhh, tomorrow, so Merry Christmas!

This summer my mother, Sunny Crittenden, has been through a lot. She was in a hospital in toronto from July until very recently, very sick with pancreatitis. She was unconcious for most of it and she was on millions of IVs and on machine support for everything from breathing to even simply pumping her heart. The statistics were that only 1 out of 5 people would survive what she has been through, and now here she is, a miracle coming home for christmas. She is still very sick, and she is hospitalised at home still, but we I am very grateful to have my mother here and alive. And all day, everyday, I get to come home and hear you playing guitar. From 5:00am (when the first nurse comes) to 10:30pm (when the last does). She downloads them off your site and plays the youtube videos on a loop, and that’s all I’ve heard since she came back. She has liked your facebook page, follows you on twitter, knows all your solos, and seen every inch of your site. She LOVES you, and as I couldn’t think of a better christmas present, even though it would be a late, I was wondering if you would pretty pretty please, for a cute 13 year old girl and her sick mom, plz give Sunny Crittenden a shout out on one of your videos, she would flip out if you so much as said her name. I don’t know, but I think that would make her christmas worth living for :)

Thank you so much whether you do it or not, I understand why you might not. Although, even emailing her at: and mentioning her daughter emailing you would make her faint :P

-Your biggest fan’s daughter

Is that not the most embarrassing thing ever? It’s REALLY hard to embarrass me, but Madison succeeded admirably, not because of the fan stuff, but because me, being extremely honest, I now had to e-mail him back and tell him that Madison basically lied to get a response from him and that made me feel like shit. Before I get to my response, here’s what he e-mailed me:

Hey there Sunny,

I hope you’re feeling better. Your daughter recently emailed me and filled me in on whats been going on. First of all, I’m really glad that you got to spend Christmas at home with your daughter who (i can tell just by her email) loves you very very much. I also want you to know that she also filled me in on how you’re a HUGE fan of mine. Just for the sidenote, i always feel interesting about calling people or having fans haha I just do what I do because I love it and consider myself a fan. Anyway I’m really glad that you enjoy the tunes and would like to thank you for your support. For me, nothing is ever one sided so if there is anything I can do for you to maybe brighten a day or put a smile on your face, hit me with it, its my turn to return the support. Im going to send over my EP (dont know if you have it or not) and include 2 unreleased youtube tracks (shhhhhh those are top secret :)) They cant fit in the email so im going to send them via YouSendit. If you need anything from me at all, dont be afraid to ask, we’re gonna get you better! :)


Nice guy, right? And I think he was kind of maybe excited about this whole thing because he also e-mailed Madison just to tell her to tell me to check my e-mail, which put a lump in my stomach  because I didn’t know what to say to him.

So I stewed about it all day. My friend Robert gave me a good foundation to work with so I just spent all day trying to build on that in my head. I also had no idea what to suggest as a possible song for Eric to cover because his e-mail sounded like maybe that might be an option and while I thought of a bunch of stuff over the past few months, my mind was a total blank when basically asked. Blake and I discussed it when he came home from work and I decided that I would e-mail Eric when I woke up this morning. First thing. Here’s what I sent…it’s…long… :o/

Hey there Eric,
I cannot thank you enough for your kind message. My daughter is right that

I love your work (to a ridiculous degree), but I fear she may have

exaggerated our situation to invoke a response from you and I’m a little

embarrassed about it. Madison is 13 and when her dad suggested she “play

up the sickness angle” as a TOTAL JOKE, not knowing she actually would

e-mail you or that you’d even see her e-mail, she took that to mean

“exaggerate greatly”.
But the thing is, I *am* sick, I’ve had a really really hard road, I

really did come close to dying this summer due to pancreatitis and things

aren’t so great these days as a result. This e-mail is probably going to

be pretty long, but I feel like I should tell you the TRUTH behind what

Madison said and you can decide whether or not I’m deserving of your kind

Here goes…:
At the end of June I woke up one day with the worst pain imaginable in my

stomach, to the point where I could barely even breathe. I was supposed to

work that morning but I was in way too much pain so I told my boss

something was wrong and that I couldn’t work right now as I was going to

have to go to the hospital because I knew something wasn’t right. As I was

doing this, Madison took her little brother, Wes (age 8) to school and

then ran back home to help me. By the time she got home, I could barely

talk or breathe or function, my husband was at work in Toronto (which is

about 2 hours away) and he’d CARPOOLED to work, so he couldn’t just come

home and take me to the hospital, so Madison called 911 and then called a

family friend to come meet us at the hospital.
In the ambulance, I threw up and was in immense pain, but they got me to

the hospital in more or less one piece, and when I got to the emergency

room, they immediately hooked me up to an IV and fed me morphine and then

they gave me a CAT scan and an x-ray and they came to the conclusion that

it was pancreatitis. Pancreatitis only occurs for two reasons: alcohol and

gallstones. I don’t drink, so in my case it was a rogue gallstone that had

lodged in my common bile duct (which is shared between the gallbladder and

the pancreas), which made my pancreas inflame. They said that pancreatitis

goes two ways: it either clears up really fast or it goes south really

fast. The treatment for pancreatitis is basically starvation. If you don’t

eat anything, the pancreas doesn’t have to process anything, so by

starving yourself, you give the pancreas a rest and the inflammation goes

down, so that’s what they decided to do.
While all this was going on, my husband, Blake, took a subway, then a bus,

then a cab to where his car was parked and THEN he got to the hospital. It

took him like, 6 hours to get there. Meanwhile, our family friend, Ronny,

had taken Madison back home and they picked Wes up from school on the way

and Ronny just looked after them until Blake got home from the hospital.
At about 10:30pm, Blake got a frantic call from the hospital saying that

he had to come now because they didn’t know if I was going to make it

through the night. Remember when I said that pancreatitis could go south

really fast? Well that’s what happened to me.


When Blake got to the hospital, I wasn’t breathing on my own and they were

trying to insert a central line, which is a big IV in the neck. Our little

local hospital basically couldn’t deal with what was going in with me, my

respiratory system was crashing fast, and the bigger hospital closest to

us couldn’t either, so they loaded me up in an ambulance and drove me to a

big, scary hospital in Toronto called St. Mike’s, which is a pretty big

fucking deal. Like, you know if someone is at St. Mike’s, they’re knocking

on death’s door.


I don’t remember St. Mike’s though, because I spent from June 25th-July

25th completely unconscious. I was intibated, which means I had a

breathing tube down my throat because I couldn’t breathe on my own, and I

was tied down and sedated because I kept trying to pull the breathing tube

out. This is apparently instinct and everyone does it, except in my case,

I succeeded more often than not. This is me after removing my breathing

tubes. I was proud of myself (I was pretty drugged up) for removing it so

I asked Blake to take a picture:


This is me in the ICU:


When I was in the ICU at St. Mike’s, they wouldn’t let me eat or drink

anything because the pancreas had to rest. Instead, I was fed through a

tube in my nose that bypassed my stomach and went straight to…actually

I’m not even sure, I just know that it bypassed the digestive system to

give the pancreas a rest. I had this feeding tube until mid-August. Also

while I was in the ICU, they said I was probably the sickest person there,

which is pretty scary considering where I was. They said that 70% of

people who were as sick as I was, died, so Madison wasn’t far off when she

said that 1 in 5 died.


With pancreatitis, there is often an issue with fluid building up in the

body and this fluid compresses the lungs, making breathing extremely

difficult and in my case, almost impossible and fatal. At the time I got

sick, I weighed probably between 150-160 lbs but with all the fluid that

was collecting in my body, I weighed 220 lbs. On July 5th, they had to do

something drastic to save my life, so what they did was cut me right up

the middle of my belly to extract this fluid. Right off the top, they

extracted 4 litres of fluid, which is TWO big bottles of pop worth! I’m

not sure how they did it, but they continued collecting fluid through this

big wound in my belly until the swelling in my body went down

considerably, then they dressed the wound with something called a “vac”,

which is this foam that is covered by plastic and then a vacuum is

attached to the middle of it and fluid is sucked through the vacuum and

collected in a little canister which they hooked at the end of my bed. I

would have this dressing until the beginning of October, changed every

Monday, Wednesday and Friday.


During this time, my kidneys failed so I had to have dialysis. They didn’t

know why they failed, they just did and then 2 weeks later, they just

started working again. The body is weird, man, we know so little about how

it works.


At the end of July, on the 25th, I had improved enough that I could be

moved to a hospital closer to home, so I was transferred by ambulance to

Royal Victoria Hospital (RVH) in Barrie, Ontario, which is about 45

minutes from our house. I would be put in the ICU of course, and since I

had no recollection of ANYTHING that happened at St. Mike’s, when I woke

up in RVH and Blake and my mom told me everything that had happened and

that I’d missed an entire month of my life, I just cried. I still cry even

thinking about it because it was just so goddamn scary and my mom and

Blake and my kids went through so much, not knowing if they were going to

get a call one day saying that I’d passed away.


So in the ICU at RVH I still had the feeding tube, although this one went

straight into my stomach, and I had the vac dressing on my abdominal wound

and I had a trache, which I’m going to explain in case you don’t know what

it is: A tracheotomy is when they punch a hole through your throat and

hook it up to oxygen because you can’t breathe on your own. The one that I

had initially at RVH didn’t allow me to speak, so I had to mouth my

questions to Blake and my mom, about what had happened at St. Mike’s. I

was so drugged up that I couldn’t write (see an example of an attempt at

writing here:, so that wasn’t

an option either. Eventually they would put in place two other traches,

one that allowed me to speak like an android and then one that allowed me

to speak normally, and then none at all.


When I was first at RVH, they wouldn’t let me eat or drink anything, but

after a while they took the feeding tube out of my nose and allowed me to

eat things that were a pudding consistency because since I hadn’t eaten

anything in so long,there was a danger of choking. I couldn’t even have

water because it was too liquid.After a while of that, they did a test to

see if I could swallow solid foods and they found that I could so solid

foods were added to the menu, which I was grateful for. They also gave me

all the water and Coke I could drink.


I still had the vac dressing, which got changed every Monday, Wednesday

and Friday and one day I convinced a nurse to take a picture of the wound

with my cell phone. Here it is if you want to see it, but I’m warning you

that it’s pretty gross and graphic:


I was (and still am) on a LOT of drugs, including high dosages of

morphine, so a lot of my hospital time is pretty much a blur, but two

weeks after being transferred to RVH’s ICU, they moved me to a general

surgery floor because I had improved so much. This was a very good, very

surprising thing because at St. Mike’s they said I wouldn’t be out of the

hospital until Christmas, but I sure showed them! The problem though, was

that I couldn’t walk. I hadn’t used my legs in almost 2 months so I had to

re-learn how to walk, which was a long, really frustrating process. I had

to walk with a walker on wheels until mid-October.


Finally on August 25th (I don’t know what it is with hospital personnel

and the 25th of the month), they let me go home. It was almost 2 months to

the day of when Madison had called 911 and I was eager to go home. Once

home, a nurse would come to the house every other day to change my vac

dressing and to make sure I was doing okay.


The vac dressing came off around the beginning of October (I think), which

was fantastic because it really sucked carrying around a canister of fluid

everywhere you went, especially since I kept dropping the unit and almost

broke it many times.


When they cut me open though, they cut through the muscles of my abdomen

so now they’re herniated and my guts are all out of place and swollen. I

get crazy stomach pain because of this, which is why I’m still on the

morphine. These pictures are what my stomach looks like now because of the

surgery, but I’m warning you (again) that these ones are semi-nude and not

safe for work: I basically

look like I’m 6 months pregnant and I need surgery to fix it but it’s a

waiting game because I also have cysts on my pancreas because of the

pancreatitis and I have to go BACK to St. Mike’s to have a surgeon drain

those cysts before my surgeon up here can fix my stomach. Right now we’re

waiting for a bed at the hospital so they can run some tests on me and

then do the cyst-draining procedure. Very soon after that, I’ll be able to

have my “big surgery” to fix my guts, which I’m really scared about

because I’m going to be in a lot of pain afterward and there’s going to be

a long recovery time when it’s all over. I’m also going to have to stay in

the hospital during most of the recovery and they’re saying that that’ll

be around 2 weeks. :o(


During this whole ordeal, I lost my job. I was a customer service

representative for a website, working from home, and it was a pretty

cherry job. Technically I was a sub-contractor (from another country, no

less) so it was perfectly legal for them to replace me and I don’t blame

them, they needed someone to fill in the gaps that were missing because of

my absence, but at the same time, we are now down to only living on

Blake’s income and that’s almost impossible. We’re putting groceries on

credit cards because we truly cannot afford them otherwise. We’re going

into debt pretty fast and it’s really really scary.


To make matters worse, due to poor nutrition (because my guts are so

screwed up, until recently I would throw up just about anything I put

down, so essentially I was bulimic), my hair started falling out. A LOT.

Here’s a pic:


The good news though, is that my wound is healing really well. Up until a

couple of weeks ago, a nurse would come every day to clean the wound and

change the dressing, but now Blake does that every other day and a nurse,

named Siske, comes Monday, Wednesday and Friday to also clean the wound

and change the dressing and just to make sure that it’s healing okay. We

had a setback a few weeks ago where the new tissue started breaking down

due to too much moisture, but that seems to have been corrected by using

different material to dress the wound. Here’s a big of what it looks like

now, that weird bit on the right is actually my BELLYBUTTON. They’re going

to build me a new bellybutton when I have my big surgery because my old

one is so messed up:


Believe it or not, this is a REALLY REALLY condensed version of everything

that happened, but I’m trying to keep it as brief as possible so I don’t

waste your time. Sorry this is so long. :o/


Here’s me just before Christmas, after putting on about 10 lbs because I

stopped throwing everything up:


SO, things are improving, I’m just really waiting to have these two

surgeries so I can go on with my life. I’ve been extremely depressed and

my psychiatrist thinks I have post traumatic stress disorder because of

everything I went through and I don’t disagree with that.


But enough about that, let’s talk about you! YES, I am a huge fan, Madison

didn’t really exaggerate that point (although I don’t listen to your songs

24/7 like she let on, but I do listen to some of them often). My favourite

pieces of your work are Rolling in the Deep and Skyrim, but I also loved

your rendition of My Little Pony. I thought Skyrim was SO well done that

that’s the one everyone in this house now knows by heart because I listen

to it so much.


I feel strange about using the word “fan” to describe the people who read

my blog too. I’ve had a website with a blog since 2000 and while it’s

nowhere near as popular as your YouTube channel, I do have a lot of

fan-like people. Instead of “fans” though, I just call most of them

“friends” because it’s easier when talking to other people about them.

Then again, I communicate with my fans probably more than you do because

of the nature of a blog, so it’s different for me than it is for you. You

also probably get bombarded with e-mails, if the comments on your videos

are any indication. :o) I hope you’re enjoying your fame, you deserve it!


I’ve been giving a LOT of thought over the past few months as to what I’d

like to see you do next and I think I’ve narrowed it down.


First, I think doing the Pixies could be phenomenal if you could pull it

off, but I’m not sure they could really be translated into metal very

well. My next idea (and my favourite band) was Hole, but sadly, I don’t

think your audience would appreciate that very much considering most of

them are boys who probably buy into the whole “Courtney killed Kurt” thing

(don’t even get me started on that) and if you did Hole then your cred

would probably go down. As much as I think Hole would be awesome, I

understand the reasons behind not doing it.


So, are you ready? Here are my big ideas as to what you should do next:


I have ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted to hear a metal version of Hazy Shade

of Winter by the Bangles. I know it’s a cover (can’t remember who did it

originally at the moment) but their version, in my opinion, is the best

version and I think it could be really well done as metal.


My second idea was Atlas by Battles because I think that could be really

interesting as metal too.


My third idea is a band you’ve probably never heard of (but should) called

Mother Mother. They’re Canadian. Their song Polynesia could be really well

done as metal as well, I think.


Speaking of metal, I used to be basically the mascot for a Canadian indie

metal band, called Scratching Post, when I was in my early 20’s. I would

run around at their shows in a pair of panties with their logo on them,

and big boots and a Scratching Post t-shirt. Pics of that are here:


I just thought you’d think that as funny. :o)


Anyway, I’ve monopolized enough of your time (again, I am SO sorry this is

so long! future e-mails will not be this long, I promise!) and I thank you

again for your kind e-mail and the EP. That was very very nice of you. I

also apologize on behalf of Madison for exaggerating so much. She’s young.


I hope you had a good Christmas (or whatever you celebrate!) and an even

better New Year.


Your friend,



PS. Just in case you wanted to, you can post this e-mail, or parts of it,

wherever you want. :o)


Like I said, I tried to keep it as short as possible, but it IS kind of a long story, especially when you have to explain so many things, like a tracheotomy. (Damn, I meant to also include a pic of the trache scar. Oops. Speaking of which, is it normal for a scar to hurt? I’ve never had a scar hurt before and this one really does.)  Also I’m just a really verbose person and this is partly why I don’t like replying to e-mails; every reply takes me like, an hour to type out, even if it’s for something really simple. I think that’s partly why I blog. If I’m going to take an hour to write so much to just ONE person, I might as well post it publicly so everyone can see it and I save time.  I hate it when someone I haven’t heard from in a while asks me what I’ve been up to like they’re so special I’m going to write a response just for them. Read the fucking blog! And if you don’t have the time to follow along or go back and read what you’ve missed then leave me alone and just follow along when you do have the time. My time’s precious too, y’know.

Anyway, I’m getting off topic and eerily enough, Eric’s version of the Skyrim theme just came on iTunes. I swear sometimes iTunes is psychic. Ghost in the machine!

Madison’s been spoken to about lying to get what you want, even if you think it’s for a good cause. I think this was a pretty minor offence because she really just exaggerated things that were true, but there’s still a lesson to be learned here. Do I think Eric will e-mail me back? I dunno. It probably won’t be for a few days if he does, I would guess, because it’ll probably take him that long to read my e-mail haha

So this is what’s been happening in Sunnyland over the past 48 hours. Now you know. And now I’m going to go stuff my face with waffles.

Expect a picture post later because the cat was being weird last night.  Oh also? I slept like, 8 hours last night. In a row. This is pretty much unheard of these days. Okay. Waffles.

Was she asking for it? Was she asking nice?

Did she ask you for it? Did she ask you twice?

So I wanted to update you guys on the “sleep rape” advice column situation. My friends Jade and Scott e-mailed The Star too, to complain about the column and Scott got this reply via e-mail, which is exactly what we all hoped would happen:

Thank you for your comments which I’m taking very seriously.

I also take my responsibility in this column seriously and understand that many questions are a cry for help. With this woman, I pointed to broader problems, but she needed more acknowledgement of what really happened, and guidance towards ongoing help. I apologize to all of you who expect better of me, and am offering that apology in the Toronto Star newspaper in their next Life edition (Friday, I believe).

I have written the following:

“In many jurisdictions, including Canada, having sex with someone without their consent, even if the person is a spouse, is legally considered a sexual assault of rape.

Your husband is wrong in his belief and abusive in his behaviour.

Your fears for your safety indicate major, worrisome problems in your marriage….if he believes he can do as he will with you, it follows that it’s possible he’ll justify and commit further abuse and violence against you.

Only you know if there’ve been signs of this before. You can still report the sexual assault to the Police, and have your husband learn the hard way that he committed rape. Or, if you believe it’s one incident and he doesn’t “get it,” you must insist on his getting counselling, for your own reassurance, and even as a condition of staying together.

You also need to think through your entire situation and future safety, with the help of professional counselling, which you can seek through the courts if you have him charged, or local community services.

If you feel stuck in an unsafe marriage, you can go to an assaulted women’s crisis center (without his knowledge), for a safe plan for leaving him.”

Again, thank you, as a reader, for taking the time to write about this, and for caring.

So yay! Justice! Good job, team! This is what she should have written in the first place!

Posted at 2:37 pm in: Feminism , Internet , Misc. , Women

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