I hate my hair. I hate my skin. I hate that I don’t know what to do about either one.

My hair is super baby fine and just hangs there.
No matter what kind of volumizing shampoo and conditioner I use, it just hangs there.

And it gets greasy very very fast because…

As soon as I hit 30, my skin decided to freak the fuck out and for the first time in my life I started getting zits.
And for the first time in my life, I didn’t have “normal” skin anymore, I had “oily”, which I think is so fucking gross.

I’ve tried 13 different face-washing products and an astringent and my skin is still all kinds of greasy gross unless I wash it twice a day.
(Which I know is probably making it worse by overcompensating, but I really cannot deal with feeling grease on my face.)

Before 30, do you know what my skincare routine was?
SHAMPOO.
I would wash my face every 3 days with SHAMPOO.
Whatever shampoo was on sale.

And I didn’t get my first zit  until I was pregnant with Wes and even then it was a once every 6 months (MAYBE) occurrence.

I don’t know what product I should be using.
And there’s probably no point in anyone suggesting anything because I’m not paying crazy prices for facewash and whatever you’re thinking of we probably don’t have here.

That used to drive me insane when I was a teenager, reading Sassy and Seventeen and YM.
We could never enter their contests or get 90% of the products they featured.

Anyway, my hair.
Since we’ve been watching Buffy from the beginning, I’ve developed a serious case of hair-envy.
I don’t know how to do hair.
I don’t know what to tell a stylist to do to my hair to make it not look like crap.
I want cute hair like Buffy. :o(
I tried today but it just ended up looking stupid like it always does. :o(

I put a little blue butterfly barrette in there on the right side but it looked too dumb so I took it out.

I suck at being a girl. The only thing I’m good at is menstruating.

And bitching, apparently, which I’ll stop doing now.

The kids have been watching Buffy all throughout their Xmas break, which makes me very proud. Especially of Wes because Buffy’s sort of a girl’s show but he’s really into it. Madison hates Cordelia and has a crush on Xander. Blake told her last night that in Season 2 she was going to really hate Cordelia for obvious reasons…if you’ve watched the show, that is.

One more thing about hair though: just before Xmas, I bought myself a big fat curling iron. You’ve probably seen it before, it’s the big fat, 1.5 inch, pink Conair one. I used to have the same curling iron when I was in college but I gave it away to my friend Crystal and I cannot remember why. I was either going to get that or a straightener but I figured I’d get more mileage out of the curling iron because Madison could use it if she ever decided to grow her hair long again. (I have 2 other curling irons, an old Braun one, the cordless one that heats with a butane flame inside the barrel and then I have a skinny one which Jen used on me in this userpic.) But my hair now has no real layers (well, Eryn was the last person to cut my hair and she’s 12…and said she could do layers but as it turns out she cannot) and as I said, just hangs there and UGH.

And that’s all I have to say about hair for the time being. I mean, I want it long, I want to keep it long, I just want to be able to do stuff with it too. Except I don’t know what stuff and the stuff I think I want to do, I don’t know how to do.

Anyway…

I’ve been writing this post and camwhorin’ while I’m working and I figured since I haven’t talked about it in a while, I should tell you all about my job.

I love my job.
LOVE.

Sure, I’m not exactly saving the world or anything, but I’ve always had this weird thing about solving other people’s problems and making people’s days better and that’s pretty much what I do. They e-mail with problems, I use my special powers to fix them and it makes their day better. At the end of our exchange, I usually get a “thank you”, some even gush.

At the same time, I think this job is making me a little jaded and some days I really fucking hate every single person that e-mails us because they are whiny, sniveling, ungrateful shits. But days like today I really like because I’ve been wished a happy new year about 200 times today and while I know they don’t really mean it personally because they don’t even know who I am (and I don’t even use my real name when replying to e-mails) but still…it’s a good vibe.

Also, I’m getting better at the job. My boss has commented a few times over the past few weeks that I’m about 99% accurate and that I’m getting much faster at answering a mass of e-mails. The goal they’ve set is 60 e-mails an hour. I’m not that fast yet, but I’m getting pretty close and boss #2 has said that soon she’s going to have me archive the e-mails I reply to because she feels she doesn’t have to go over them anymore because I’m accurate enough. She’s also taught me a few new things over the last few weeks so I think I’m getting closer to not being in training mode anymore, which is a very good thing.

And I got an Xmas bonus! Totally unexpected and  totally awesome! I bought Blake a Leafs jersey with it so he’d have it to wear when we went to the game on the 22nd. I forget if I explained this or not, but Blake and I both have knock-off jerseys from Wal*Mart, mine’s pink (although I do have a real jersey, my step-mom bought it for me about 14 years ago when the 3rd jerseys first came out – or at least I think they came out then, I don’t recall seeing them before that). Anyway, I couldn’t let Blake go to the game in a Wal*Mart jersey so I rectified that yesterday and even paid for speedy shipping so it would get here in time. I also got myself a Leafs baseball hat for those times where I just don’t even feel like dealing with my hair.

But yeah, work is going amazingly well. I go to bed early like an old fart throughout the week so I can get up early to “go” to work and then I’ve been painting on weekends or during the day on slower days. Today, however, is not a slow day. I guess a lot of people must be home alone tonight and in need of adult entertainment because the e-mails have been pretty steady all day with people getting their accounts in order for  tonight.

My New Year’s Eve plan is to work on my sketchbook for The Sketchbook Project, which has frayed my nerves as I still don’t have a single page finished and it’s due in 15 days. Then I’ll be going to bed early tonight because I had Monday off to have Xmas with my mom and in exchange, I said I’d work New Year’s Day, which my boss is very happy about because she can sleep in.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough and instead of writing pointless blog posts about dumb stuff while I work, I should probably work on my sketchbook.

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year’s Eve and that 2011 will treat you well! xoxo

I just bought this for myself for my birthday.
(Which isn’t until March 1st, but I was afraid someone else would get it if I didn’t buy it now.)
You should check out their shop, I think their pieces are amazing.

WE LOVE YOU!!!

Oh man, the last 4 days have been absolute chaos and I am relishing the little bit of sanity I’ve gained from sleeping in my own bed and getting back to work this morning, back to my house and my routine. With my dogs. With my TV, with my movies, with my family, without lipstick, wearing sweats and a t-shirt and a ponytail. Without being “on”, y’know? Thanks god this whole Xmas deal only happens once a year…

Might as well start at the beginning.

Xmas Eve day I got up at 7am so I could work from 8am-4pm and that way we’d be able to leave early enough to get up North to my dad and Lisa’s for dinner with my Uncle Paul (Lisa’s brother) and his awesome girlfriend Sandi. Also invited was their friend Timber and his girlfriend Terri and of course my little sisters, Raili (pronounced “Riley”, it’s Finnish) and Rachael would be running around like crazy people.

Sandi made the most delicious lasagna I’ve ever had. It had MUSHROOMS in it! I love mushrooms! Lisa also made us a fantastic caesar salad with real bacon in it from the pigs they raised over the summer. Blake’s salsa was a huge hit, Lisa and Sandi devoured it. There was also shrimp on the table but shrimp is gross so I didn’t have any.

Pictures of Xmas Eve exist, most notably ones of me, Lisa and Sandi, and if I don’t look like shit in them, I’ll edit this post and post one [here].

This is what I wore Xmas Eve.
It’s a sheer black, meshy dress/tank top trimmed with dark blue, worn over jeans.
It’s not a very good picture of it, but I tried.

Paul and Sandi got me a fluffy housecoat and got Madison a jewelry box full of jewelry, which she’s obsessed with so way to go Paul & Sandi! I forget what they got Blake. I think they got Wes a remote control car. We got them each a pair of wool socks, which probably sounds lame, but they’re really outdoorsy people (all of my Muskoka family is) and wool socks are a coveted item. We also got them a bottle of Bailey’s.

Before dinner, Lisa gave each of us one present and she got me this really badass notebook/journal that was handmade in India. It’s leather with a design and a tiger’s eye on the front of it and then hand-pressed cotton paper on the inside (and LOTS of it) and then the whole thing closes up with a leather tie. I should take pictures of it, but I’m half writing this post and half working so I can’t. It’s really fucking cool though.

Phil (my father who’s just “Phil”, even my kids just call him “Phil”) got The Beverly Hillbillies on DVD so after the guests left and it was just us, we sat and watched that and then the kids sprinkled “reindeer food” outside on the snow and went to bed. Once that was accomplished, Blake, Lisa and I went to work filling the stockings and setting out Santa presents for my sisters and Wes who all still believe.

At about 2am, we all finally went to bed and the second Raili saw my eyes crack open Xmas morning, this is what I woke up to:

Lisa made some weird egg thing for breakfast that had broccoli in it so I didn’t have any. It’s not like I dislike broccoli or anything, I just don’t think it should be anywhere near eggs. And it should also always have cheese sauce on it. I mean really, all broccoli is to me, is a vehicle for cheese sauce. Having said that, I had toast instead.

After breakfast and me opening my stocking, which everyone else had already done while I was sleeping, it was time to open presents and really, there’s no details to be had there other than the fact that it was complete and total mayhem. And Wes screamed like a crazy person with every Zhu Zhu item he opened, which ended up being MANY MANY Zhu Zhus and accessories.

In the end, Wes scored 9 Zhu Zhus total and about 9 feet of Zhu Zhu playsets which are hamster tubes that all connect and that now my living room is overrun with. We also got Raili and Rachael pink and purple PRINCESS Zhu Zhus so there were 11 of the things going all over the place Xmas morning.

After the little kids went mental over presents, we just all kinda hung out while Phil & Lisa started making Xmas dinner. As I do every year, I went down to the basement and had a nap because I simply cannot function on only a few hours of sleep, especially when that sleep was full of nightmares. While I did that, Phil watched a bunch of videos on YouTube about the conspiracies surrounding 9/11 because he’s paranoid like that (we recommended he watch Zeitgeist, which he did later that evening but I don’t know what he thought of it).

So then it was just random socializing until Phil and Blake took the kids and the dogs outside to go toboganning with the new snow things the kids all got from Santa. I stayed inside, big surprise, but we could see them from the kitchen window and a good time was had by all, especially the dogs, until their snow things broke and everyone had to come in. They were outside for a good hour though and Phil would pull them back up the hill with the snowmobile. Shoulda taken pictures, didn’t. Oh well.

Xmas dinner was just Phil, Lisa, my sisters and us (which is a good thing) and it was a fantastic meal. Phil definitely knows how to prepare turkey and this year LISA made the stuffing at my request so there was no oysters or fucking PINE NUTS in it like there has been other years when Phil was responsible for it. To me stuffing is the best part of Xmas dinner and when Phil was doing it (and making it gross and inedible), it actually upset me that I couldn’t have any so this year I asked Lisa if she would make me just a box of Stovetop Stuffing or let ME make it and explained that Phil’s idea of stuffing was way too gross to all of us so she said she would but ended up making stuffing from scratch, in the bird, in the end, so I was very very happy about that. She also makes these killer whipped mashed potatoes that I love and there was broccoli WITH CHEESE SAUCE, so I was very happy with dinner indeed.

After dinner, Blake and Lisa cleaned up and once that was done, Phil, Blake, Madison and I pulled out my new, pink Bicycle playing cards and we had 2 games of Euchre. There was a bit of drama surrounding that because Madison’s emotions were running high and the fact that she’s still a beginner but Phil won both times, once with Madison as his partner and once with me as his partner. That means Blake lost two times. :oD

Then there was more Beverly Hillbillies and bed. But before I end Xmas Day, I have a sort of announcement to make that no one but me probably cares about.

You know my friend Jesse? I’ve written about him before and the last you probably heard of him was that he thought he was transgendered and into men. Well, he’s been seeing this girl, Patricia, for something like a little less than a year and on Xmas Day, he changed his relationship status from “in a relationship” to “engaged to Patricia [last name]“. I’m not *totally* sure if it’s legit or if they’re fucking with people, but if it is legit then all I have to say to them is “congrats!” and that I hope I’m invited to the wedding.

Jesse and Patricia

Truthfully, I haven’t spoken to Jesse in about a year. He won’t return my calls, won’t reply to e-mails or Facebook communications. He has sworn up and down to Raymond and Blake that he’s not mad at us and we haven’t done anything but still, I wonder constantly about the reason. Blake ran into him a few months ago with his mom and she told Blake that Jesse was in college (I forget what for) and Blake said Jesse, our fairy princess friend Jesse, had grown a manly beard and I got a little worried, but when Patricia posted the above picture on Facebook yesterday or the day before, I saw that Jesse was wearing eyeliner and felt immensely better because that means the Jesse I know is still in there and he already knows how much I miss him so all I can do is still be here when he comes around, whenever that may be. He’s obviously going through some major changes and maybe he felt he had to do that alone or maybe he was afraid of what we’d say or something. Who knows? And I know it’s not just us, he’s been ignoring Raymond too. But whatever, I’m happy if he’s happy and that’s all that matters.

Back to Xmas…

Boxing Day morning we woke up and Lisa made us eggs and sausage (I freaking love breakfast sausage but it’s SO bad for you I never have them, except times like that) and we just kinda hung out while Blake and I casually started rounding up all the kids’ stuff and got ready to start the leaving process. I went to the garage to give the dogs their Gravol so they wouldn’t puke in the car (Lucky puked on the way up, despite giving him the Gravol then too) and Blake took them outside for a final tromp around the snow and to pee.

During all this, Phil was getting ready to “go to work”, which in the end meant that he was going to the hunting camp with Paul and some buddies, I think. We packed up, said our goodbyes and off we headed to home.

Getting home was such a huge relief. I don’t hate going up North as much as I used to but being away from home for 2 days really really stresses me out. When we got home and settled, I did some internetting and watched the Leafs game while working on my “Snow Princess“.  Then Blake and I watched some Buffy and went to bed because we were absolutely exhausted from all these KIDS making us insane.

Yesterday was Xmas with my mom, her boyfriend John and his son Chris. This is what I wore (PS. I suck at taking mirror pics…):

The sweater is the $80 cotton sweater I was talking about months ago.
The gauzy thing is from Free People, which is my favourite.

We were actually going to John’s cottage to have Xmas with my mom and it’s right on the lake. John and Chris built a rink on the lake so there was skating to be had by my mom, John, Blake, Madison and Wes just slid around in his boots because his skates don’t fit anymore. I stood there and filmed them while freezing my fucking ass off. So video does exist of everyone skating but I haven’t uploaded it yet and truthfully, it’s not all that exciting so I’m probably just going to upload it to Facebook where I can tag everyone so their “people” can see it.

After skating, the kids played Wii with Chris and the “adults” (term used loosely) just sat around and shot the shit until dinner was ready. Dinner was pork tenderloin, which I don’t eat but everyone else liked it, carrots, broccoli (without cheese sauce), Stovetop Stuffinf (yay!) and roasted potatoes.  It was a fine meal and everyone enjoyed it, in fact I don’t even think there were any leftovers.

When dinner was finished, my mom asked the kids if they’d rather have dessert first and presents after or presents first and dessert after and they chose the latter, so presents it was. I got my mom peridot earrings to match the necklace I got her for Mother’s Day, I got John 2 boxes of Lady Fingers and Chris a black & silver Zhu Zhu pet because damnit, all the kids in my life were getting Zhu Zhus this year. I mean, he’s 15 (or 16?) and probably has no need of one, but he got one anyway.

I didn’t really see what the kids or Blake got, to be honest. I got a big bottle of REAL maple syrup, some weird rubber flower things you put on your wall, pajama pants, a Hello Kitty Beanie Baby, Skittles (w00t!) AND MOTHERFUCKING LEAFS TICKETS!

The tix are obviously for me AND Blake and it’s for the game on Saturday, January 22nd against Washington! So if things go as planned, it should actually be a WINNING game! (They lost the only time I saw them play.) This also means that I have to buy Blake a Leafs jersey for his birthday (the 11th) because I refuse to be seen with him if he’s wearing the knock off I got him from Wal*Mart (we got each other knock offs last year for Xmas, mine’s pink). But whatever, he’s Canadian now, sort of, so he needs his own Leafs jersey anyway.

So not only are we going to the game, but my mom & John have agreed to babysit so I’m thinking MAYBE, just MAYBE, we might get a hotel room in the city to do a bit of partying after the game. But we’ll see how things go. I am SO ABSOLUTELY FUCKING STOKED though. And I almost died of shock because my mother would never get us that in a hundred million years, so THANKS JOHN! :oD He is definitely a good influence on her…

After presents we shot the shit some more, then it was time to go home, we got home and pretty much just went to bed. And that was my Xmas.

How was yours?

Oh and since there’s not video of Madison, here’s a bonus one where she talks about peeing her pants on the way home from school. This was taken the week before Xmas, I think:

She’s finished.
My last painting of 2010.
I fucked her up though and can’t sell her, I’ll explain.

She’s got a bump on her head, on the upper right-hand side.
This is because I didn’t use enough gel medium when I glued her down, so when I went to varnish her, her head lifted in a few places, which was the cause of problem #2:

In an attempt to get her head to lay flat, I poked it down with the end of my paintbrush, which lifted some of the paint on her face, which you can see on the right side, under her eye. Oops. :o/

Marabou is a real bitch to sew and I don’t think I’ll be using it again.
The bodice of her dress is white sparkly paper, but the bottom is sparkled tulle pasted over top of watercolour paper, then the marabou at the bottom, which in hindsight should have probably only been one row instead of two.
Oh and her bindi is a Swarovski crystal.

She has feet!

She also has a bunch of different types and colours of glitter.
For fine glitter I used light blue, silver and white and for chunky glitter I used silver and just a touch of blue.

Anyway, if she’d have turned out the way I intended her to, I think she’d be my favourite so far.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with this one yet.
I kinda like her a whole lot, so right now I’m thinking she probably won’t go up on Etsy.
Unless someone else wants her…
I decided I liked the design better without words.
Also, this one is different from “Just Like Honey” in that I used a more orangey gold than a yellow gold and I used gold, copper and brown chunky glitter in the background, whereas “Just Like Honey” just used fine gold glitter.
There is very little black in this one, too.
Also, her hair is a metallic brown, whereas “Just Like Honey”‘s was metallic black.
Oh and this one’s eye colour is different too.

So she’s finished.
My “Snow Princess” should be finished this afternoon if things go as planned, after Xmas if they don’t.

(crappy Blackberry pic, but you get the idea)