Moments ago, around midnight, Blake’s mother defriended me on Facebook. But that’s okay, I mean as it turned out this “friendship” we had was pretty one-sided and as I tried to imply in last night’s post that’s not really a friendship at all, is it? Oh well, I’m not going to write another gigantic post trying to figure out what this action means as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure Blake will receive an e-mail or phone call about it eventually, unless she’s decided not to be friends with him too which is entirely possible. He was just going to bed when the defriending happened and he told me to check his Facebook account but I’m not entering his password correctly or something and can’t get in so oh well, I guess he’ll just check for himself  tomorrow.

I could go on any number of tangents from here but it’s hard to pick just one. I guess I’ll go with Blake and I’ll warn you  right now, this could get messy.

I always go to bed long after Blake does but sometimes when I’m sitting here by myself and everyone’s sleeping, I think about how lucky I am to be able to crawl into bed and sleep beside him every night. I mean, he’s my man, he’s my partner in crime, I get to be with him for the rest of our lives and constantly I think about it and think how awesome that is. It’s so lame, I know, but sometimes I sit here and fantasize about having a party for our 10th wedding anniversary so we can share our love with everyone we love and who love us back. We never really did the wedding thing and while I don’t regret that, when I think about how much we love each other and when people tell us that our marriage is one that they look up to, I just want to have a party to celebrate love. Our 10th anniversary is probably not very realistic financially for what I fantasize about but I can wait until our 20th.

People talk about marriage like it’s this huge sacrifice where ultimately you’re both going to end up miserable until you finally divorce and I just don’t get that. The way people at Blake’s work talk about their significant others just baffles both of us, how people we know talk about their marriages sometimes, I mean, we just don’t understand. I think these people maybe got married for the wrong reasons or something, I dunno. We know people who had a wedding just to have a wedding. We know people who married for financial security. We know people who married because of an accidental pregnancy and we know people who were in love when they got married but with the way things played out afterward, I’m not sure some of these people really understood what a marriage was. Blake and I? We definitely entered into this whole marriage deal with our eyes wide open and 7 years later we’re more in love than we were the day we said “I do”. It’s us against the world and guess what? We’re making it. Slowly but surely we are. And one day we’re going to have everything we want together, everything we’ve talked about, of that I’m certain because – and this is probably really cliche but fuck you I’m saying it anyway – together we can do anything and we can survive anything.

I’m unsure of a lot of things in this world, I have a lot of fears, but one thing I absolutely know for sure is that my kids are going to grow up to be amazing people and that Blake and I are never going to stop loving each other, fiercely, for as long as we live. We are the foundation, the seed, of a new family tree. We’re just waiting to put our roots in the ground which will come one day, we’re sure as hell trying.

Okay that’s enough lameness out of me. I’m not really a romantical type person and everything I just wrote kinda makes me want to throw up a little bit but I can’t help it though, I just love the shit out of him. I hope you understand.

And with that, I guess I’m out.