My friend Erica, who lives in the retirement capital of the world, Florida, made a Live Journal post about how old people often get upset that no one’s listening to them and for that reason, people like us should teach them how to use the Internet and show them websites where they can express themselves and impart their knowledge. Plus, she figured, it would give them something to do.

In that post, she gave examples of old(er) people she knew of on the internet, including a 72-year-old lady who creates instructional videos on how to train birds and uploads them to YouTube and a woman named Jan Griffin, who…well…keep reading.

In searching for instructions on how to use an oddly-shaped pet grooming tool she’d bought, Erica found ExpoTV.com, a site in which people make and share videos of themselves reviewing all kinds of products. This is where she stumbled upon Jan Griffin, an American professor whose age it would be rude to guess so I’m going to forgo hazarding one.

Jan has uploaded almost 500 videos in the past year & a half, seemingly reviewing everything in her house, including such insanely mundane items as Kleenex (twice!!), Ladies’ Home Journal, two different lint rollers, a stuffed soccer ball for dogs (also reviewed by who I’m guessing is a daughter or granddaughter), a calculator (”it adds very easily, that’s 20 + 10, EQUALS, and then you see what the result is,”) and my personal favourite, bobby pins:

I can just picture her meatside, moving through the world looking at and buying things because they’d make a good review for the internets. She’s a living, breathing Saturday Night Live sketch, one that hasn’t happened yet, but one that probably should. Chris Crocker can’t have all the glory, there’s room in this arena of internet celebrity for the old bitches too. Internet, let’s make it so!