Man, this WordPress thing sure does tend to attract a lot of spambots. Deleting spam from certain posts has almost been a full-time job lately. Any ideas on what I can do to make them stop?
My plan for this week is to fill out the pages under “The People in my World”. I realize I should be working on a layout but honestly, I can’t even think of one right now and I don’t really mind being generic for right now, so nyah.
I’ve spent most of today editing pictures and video of our big trip to Muskoka over the weekend. Once things are finished being written and uploaded, I’ll be making a big post with everything over at my Live Journal. That post won’t be dial up friendly, just a heads up.
Thursday, as I may have mentioned a time or two this month, is my birthday and as the days between now and then melt away, I’m becoming increasingly nervous about my show at Camwhores Thursday night. The show depends on certain people being here and helping me out and I’m afraid that something will come up at the last minute and make what I have planned impossible, or at least not as good as it could have been. This always happens, I get nervous like this before a show every single time I do one and it always ends up fine. This is the first time I’ve booked a solid hour of time, though, and I worry that it’ll be an hour of wasted bandwidth.
So, apparently my biological father’s in the audience and he’s having a hard time with “what I do” since he thinks “what I do” is porn. Well, it’s not…exactly. It IS adult though and that’s why I do it at Camwhores.com because let’s face it, I don’t want my kids stumbling on it any more than you do and the fact is, they’re not going to get to see anything of mine over there without access to an adult’s credit card. (And if they do, you’re probably a horrible parent.)
Wanna know what I do on cam? I masturbate. The only difference between me broadcasting it on a webcam and you doing it wherever and however you do it is that thousands of people watch me while I do it. I do this maybe four or five times a year (and I masturbate a hell of a lot more than that, as do most of the people reading this, possibly my father included). I make people happy, and that makes me happy.
Making people happy is what I do, mostly.
But I don’t just do it by adult means. I also do it by writing,
fiction and non-fiction, every single day of my life. Writing this site,
in my Live Journal, talking to people in IM and other places, using forums
and e-mail…I’m really really busy. The reason I stay on
Camwhores.com even though it’s become more porn-ish (it was very
different when I started there) is because I can stream live and actually
chat with the audience in real time and not be censored like you are on
YouTube. If you wanna flash your titties, you just go on ahead. Some of us
womenfolk have that weird exhibitionist streak in us, see Girls Gone Wild
or Mardis Gras for further proof.
Masturbation isn’t something I’m ashamed of, and no one will ever make me feel ashamed of it. Not when there’s 200+ women on that site, all so so different, from different cultures and different walks of life, who do the same thing (and more) and that’s just on ONE english-speaking cam portal. There’s a lot of history to this thing I call cam culture, and I love being in the thick of it, sorry. *shrug*
There’s no other place on the whole damn internet where I can do what I do there, even fully clothed. There’s also a community there if you look past the titties to see it. When I update my cam on Camwhores, almost instantly friends I’ve had online for 5 years will pop up and
we’ll have a nice chat. Some are cammers, some are viewers, and some I know more about than members of my own family. It’s fun (and very very weird, which is why I don’t do it very often anymore).
But you have kids!
So? Do your kids know what you’re doing after they go to bed? No? Neither do mine.
Obviously they see some aspects of the things I do online, but I’m not an idiot. They only see what’s age appropriate, and there are safeties in place. I’m on Camwhores.com exclusively, a site which is filtered on every computer they touch at home or at school, and most of their friends have filters in place too. So it’ll be a long while, I think, before they have a chance to stumble on that aspect of my life. Chances are I’ll tell them long before they find it on their own. The internet’s a big place after all.
Why is it called Camwhores?
It’s a tongue-in-cheek term similar to how a fanatic for shoes is called a “Shoe whore”. Camwhores are people who are fanatical about expressing themselves, ideally live, through their webcams.
Any questions? E-mail me. (Sunny Crittenden (at) Sunny Crittenden.com)
I’ve been really restless lately, which happens every year. For some people birthdays are a day to celebrate themselves and it’s something they look forward to. With me, it’s the complete opposite. I try to be all excited about it and stuff, but it’s never a good day and the weeks leading up to it are never good weeks and every year I go to sleep disappointed in someone, so I pretty much spend most of February dreading the day.
I think the problem is just that I think I deserve presents EVERY day of the year, not just on the day some she-beast shat me from her loins. :D
In other news, I’ve had Zombie by the Cranberries stuck in my head for like, a week:
PS. And for the love of kittens, don’t send me a bunch of e-cards. I really really hate them and just delete the e-mails. I appreciate the sentiment, but they’re all just so…lame and never worth the time it takes for the stupid things to load.
Yesterday a box from Amazon came and inside was Sims 2 Pets and Yoshi’s Island for the Nintendo DS (Thanks Ray <3), which meant yesterday was a total write off as far as doing anything even remotely productive. I’m a little bit ashamed to admit this, but basically I did nothing from 2pm-4am but play Sims 2 Pets because despite it being a really stripped down version of the PC game, it’s strangely addictive. I haven’t touched Yoshi’s Island yet, but I’m assuming it’s as awesome as The New Super Mario Bros. is, which, until yesterday, was the only DS game I had.
Part of the reason I spent yesterday playing video games is because Blake was setting up my spiffy new (refurbished :p) external hard drive on my iBook which I’m ridiculously giddy over. My iBook only has a 20 gig hard drive, half of which is permanently full of music and Word files, which was making it difficult to edit videos. My video camera uses mini DV tapes that are an hour long and to transfer ONE of those onto my hard drive, it’s approximately 16 gigs, which is a problem when you only have 13 gigs free at any given time. So what I would do is transfer as much as I could, then spend days editing each and every clip to burn on CD and free up room, but doing it this way meant that if I was editing videos, I couldn’t really do anything else. Forget opening up Photoshop. I mean, P-shop would run just fine with a full hard drive, but there was no room to save anything, so there was no point in trying. Now with the external HD, I can transfer all of my videos onto that and edit them from there AND I can save high quality versions of video, unplug the drive and burn them to DVD on Blake’s PC. Genius.
Now, if I could get my hands on a Wacom tablet, my technological life would be perfect. Actually that’s a lie, I still need a functioning printer, but in my hierarchy of needs, that’s just below a tablet. Basically (I’ve been saying “basically” a lot, my old media teacher would shoot me for that)…basically, I want the tablet for making ‘zines and comics and I’m convinced that there’s a way to hack apart webcam software to upload a picture directly from a tablet to the ftp of my choosing (here or Live Journal), which I really want to do because it would be like drawing or writing more or less in real time. I don’t think that’s been done before and I’d like to be the first. :) But even if I can’t figure out how to do that, I still think a tablet will help me out quite a bit with the ‘zine/comic production. I’m not totally sure if I’d sell these online, but currently I have a few local places really interested in selling them for me if I ever get them off the ground.
I’ve gotten a few e-mails this week from people who wanted to know what I wanted for my birthday, which is in a week & a half. I forgot that with this new site, I don’t have a wishlist link up, so here it is. I realize that sucker’s 6 pages long now and no one wants to sort through stuff and it’s SO STUPID that you can’t view an Amazon wishlist by priority, so as far as what I’d like the most, the art-related books are what I’m obsessed with at the moment. Our local library is soooooo tiny (one day I’ll be doing a video blog from there so you guys can see it), their art section isn’t even one full shelf and I’m in dire need of some inspiration. Other than those, the thing I want the most is on page 5 and is a documentary called In the Realms of the Unreal. I used to have a copy of it on my computer than I downloaded a long time ago, but I had to delete it to make space on my hard drive for other things. There’s also a book on my wishlist all about Henry Darger that I’d really like to read because I find him, his art and his story in general completely fascinating.
Since we’re on the topic of my birthday, I’ve scheduled a members-only show over at Camwhores for March 1st at 11pm EST. This show is largely tentative because with the problems I’ve had uploading, there’s a chance that streaming won’t work either, but I figure with a streaming show, Camwhores is connecting directly to my cam and there’s no ftp involved, so it should theoretically be fine. BUT I thought I’d give a warning in case technical difficulties prevent me from doing this show. Also, I currently have 5 free trials for Camwhores to give away if anyone wants them, just e-mail me (Sunny (at) SunnyCrittenden.com) and I’ll hook you up. :) Also feel free to give show suggestions since I have no idea what I’ll be doing for the show yet.
And with that, I’m out. But before I go, here’s a video of spiders on drugs:
I re-read the CammityJane entry I posted yesterday and I’m not entirely happy with it, but I’m not going to go editing it until I DO like it because I don’t believe in 2nd drafts. I’ve never gone back and edited anything I’ve ever written in my whole entire life, so I’m not about to do doing that now. SO THERE.
Once it’s finished (if it’s ever finished) and I’m thinking about turning it into a book, THEN I’ll play with stuff. Right now I just need to get the story out of me and slowly but surely, it’s coming.
Fiction’s weird. I’m not sure I’ve really talked much about the CammityJane journal, but last year when I went nuts, I had this huge explosion of concrentrated ideas and it was as if I got stuck in my own imagination and the problem was that A) I didn’t realize I was “off” and B) I couldn’t bring myself out of it.
It was during that period where the story of Jane (or more to the point, the other people she’s going to encounter) came into my mind and I spent most of my time in the hospital sketching scenes in my head with these characters (none of whom have been introduced yet), but not writing down a single word.
When I got out of the hospital, I got out my pencil crayons and drew every location of every scene, maps, character sketches and right now, I guess the name of the game is moving characters from point A to point B, which is actually a lot harder than I originally thought it would be and I find as I obsess with that, my characters lose a little depth.
For example, the “strange man” Jane encounters in the latest post is seriously glossed over from what’s in my head and I know that my descriptions aren’t sufficient if the reader’s going to come away with the mental image of him I have. At the same time, I also know he’s going to show up later so that gives me a second chance and the opportunity to round him out a little more. (How he moves, for example, is important, but in the restaurant setting I had a hard time trying to figure out a way for him to move because everything takes place at one table and it was important to the over all story that Jane come to him and not the other way around.)
Anyway, this isn’t a serious project or anything, just something I work on when the mood strikes or a character walks into my dreams demanding attention, which was the case with Good Eat Part 1 and “the strange man” himself.
In other news, my 10lbs of plain ol’ grey plastiscene arrived on Monday and I’ve spent a good portion of the week screwing around and seeing what I can do with it. So far I’ve only made a really stupid looking girl with a lot of hair…
I realize the face is dumb, that part took maybe 10 mins but each “strand” of hair was hand-rolled by yours truly and took about 30 hours total.
I’ve been on Wikipedia practically all day researching dragons, I think that’s what I’m going to make next and there’s a reason; when I was in grade 5 or 6 (hard to say since I had the same teachers and the same classroom for both grades, it was a split class) an art lady came to our school to teach us about using clay and I made this really awesome Chinese dragon, that’s now long gone, and I wanted to see if I could do it again, but better since I’m no longer a chubby little kid with chubby little fingers doing things the way someone else tells me to.
All week, when I’ve told people that I bought 10 lbs of grey plasticine, they’ve all asked the same question: “Why grey?” Well, it’s all gonna end up grey anyway, isn’t it?
The reason I got it was mostly to help me visualize certain things in 3-D and to better figure out where shadows would be (when painting) and I don’t need colour for that. In fact, for my purposes, I think colour would be distracting.
Some folks have suggested that I do stop-motion videos since I now have all this plastiscene and believe me, I’ve been thinking about it, but if it’s gonna happen, it’ll be a long time from now. I’ve got too much on the go between now and the spring and once the warm weather hits, using plastiscene is going to suck because it’ll be way too melty. So, if I ever do a stop-motion video, it’ll probably be next fall. (And if I did do one, I’d have to buy coloured plastiscene, so I’ll wait until I have a good idea first. :))
And finally, this brings me to YouTube and video blogging in general.
A few people have subscribed to my YouTube channel, which is fine, but don’t bitch about there being no context, because sometimes I’m uploading this stuff to be used for other things. For example, there’s a few videos that friends asked me to put up there, that have absolutely nothing to do with my site or blogging or anything, they just wanted to be able to share them with their own friends or post on their MySpaces. There’s probably gonna be a lot of that, so basically, if I don’t embed the video in a blog post and write about it, I uploaded it for someone or something else.
Another thing that keeps coming up is the lack of Madison (my daughter) in the videos I’ve uploaded thus far. Well, there’s a reason for that, a few of them actually.
The first is that, unlike Wes, she understands what a video camera does and as such, she tends to not “be herself” or becomes a different version of herself when it’s around (which is a nice way of saying that she tends to get obnoxious). She grew up with me following her around with a digital camera, so she doesn’t do this with stills, just with video. Wes is the opposite. If I get out the digital camera, he turns into an obnoxious little brat, but with the video camera, he acts himself because he’s too little to understand that it’s recording. He’s seen the videos of himself, but he just doesn’t understand the concept of video yet and he’s barely even aware of the internet, let alone YouTube.
The other reason is simply that she doesn’t want to be in videos that are of just “real life”.
She wants to put on plays and dress up and do fashion shows and stuff like that, which we do videotape for her, we just don’t put them online because she’s self-conscious and doesn’t want us to. We respect that. :) Basically any footage of Madison that gets put online is with her final approval and this is the kind of stuff she wants out there:
(That was from her school’s Xmas concert.)
Since that’s the case, most “kid videos” are going to be put up by Blake over at the kids’ site, Bunnies & Bees, for their aunts & uncles & grandparents to watch (and whoever else wants to, obviously, but it’s mostly a family thing).
In other news, it’s Wes’ 4th birthday on Tuesday and last week a few people e-mailed me to see if I’d gotten a wishlist set up yet, so this afternoon I cleaned up the kids’ old wishlist (deleting unavailable items/stuff they’ve kinda grown out of wanting etc), which can be found here.
I’m well aware of the fact that this site still doesn’t have a theme despite having the best help imaginable, but I’m busy, lazy, horny & working on some other stuff at the moment. Planning, scheming, scanning, painting, writing, editing…I’ve been a pretty busy girl lately, one who doesn’t get enough sleep. Winter was late but it’s finally here and it’s like a floodgate let loose in my brain. Not in a crazy “uh oh, are you taking your meds?” kinda way, but in a creative way. Looking out the window at everything covered in snow is a great canvas; in my mind it’s so easy to mentally “paint” the landscape when everything’s white and obviously this leads to creative mental “shit” (otherwise known as ideas haha) that I don’t get to tap into in July or October. I’m trying to make the most of it before the sand and salt turns everything brown and screws with my chi.
Anyway, the other day Steph, the sexiest geek girl on the planet installed some WordPress gadgetry of some sort that will, eventually, help me organize things better, but until I decide how I’m even going to organize anything (layout, what content I’m even going to add in the end) I don’t think I’m gonna screw with it yet. Playing with YouTube all weekend and thinking about what’s possible has made me want to rethink how I was originally going to do some things, and has actually made me contemplate a few new ideas. I know I say this a lot, but we’ll see how things go and when I know what the fuck I’m talking about, I’ll let y’all know. :D
In the meantime…here’s a picture of me drawing on Krissy’s ass. :)
If you wanna know what’s going on, watch the video:
“How does Hoover react to snowballs? I bet he just goes bonkers.”
About the same way he reacts to a stick:
He also likes tennis balls, 2L Coke bottles and anything else even remotely throwable (kids’ toys…anything). Including cats:
Believe it or not, Digit & Hoover are buddies and this is actually how they play (although when they were outside, Digit was so not in the mood to play haha). One day I’ll try to get video of Digit torturing Hoover, but he’s pretty stealth about it, as cats tend to be. Usually he’ll just jump on the dog while he’s sleeping and start chewing on his ears, like he’ll wrap his paws around Hoover’s head and just beat the piss out of him. Pixel usually just stays out of the way.
Anyway, trying to get the cats to like “outside” isn’t going so well, as you can see, but I figure in the spring when I’m outside in the garden, they’ll probably come out with me and end up quite liking this “outside” business. (Especially since I plan on the strategic placement of catnip in various parts of our yard. :))
After that video was taken and we came inside, both cats were sitting on my chair cleaning themselves and getting it all wet, which I suppose I deserved. :D