Today I opened my blinds to enjoy it. See, I love snow and up until now we didn’t really have any and it was starting to bum me out. Mid-January? There should have been at least 2 snow days by now and there was a part of me that was kind of looking forward to chasing the dog all over town because he climbed the 8 foot snowdrift in the backyard. Right now we have just about enough to cover the grass with more to come tonight.

It’s cold as a witch’s tit and it’s already 4pm so I’m not going out there today, but if the light’s as pretty tomorrow, I could be presuaded to take the camera out because the field across the road looks like it might be full of interesting things.

It’s not high on my priority list but I really need to upgrade my snow gear. I mean, there’s the coat you have because it’s pretty (and I have that, although it needs some repairs) and there’s the coat you have because it’s warm. The thing is, I don’t wanna be stuck in some puffy, neon wonder. If there’s any animals around, I’d scare them away! Although, if it’s hunting season it could be a good thing haha

Oh yeah! My blinds! I can’t remember if I wrote about my blinds yet anywhere, but after a year of “getting to know the neighbourhood” by not having any, Sunnyland finally has some, which I hung wrong and don’t care enough to try again. :D (They’re off by like, 1/8th of an inch, just enough to drive everyone but me nuts.) The rest of the house doesn’t have blinds yet of course, but we’ll start workin’ on that once we can afford paint.

Anyway, the only blinds we could find to fit this window were white. White bugs me, a lot and I don’t like staring at a wall of white all day, but obviously some days it’s preferred to whatever’s happening outside. So I was thinking…how do I make these blinds not white. Well, by sitting here smoking like a chimney all day, they’ll be yellow soon enough (gross and true and you should all e-mail me to quit…again even though I’ll probably ignore you as smokers tend to do until they’re ready), but I don’t really like yellow either and I can’t paint them (it won’t stick to the vinyl) so I think I’m just gonna cover them in stickers. I was thinking a rainbow would be the easiest, the top slats reds, the next ones down oranges, then yellows etc etc etc but I’m open to ideas.

But then I got thinking about the back of the blinds and how funny it would be to put a message there in electrical tape or something, but I couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t completely and utterly tacky and/or offensive like, “At least there’s no plastic flamingoes!” which is really only funny in the summer and wouldn’t fit anyway, or “Buttsecks” because I’m immature like that. :D Meh, plenty of time to think about it.

The problem of course is that it’s gonna take a LOT of stickers and I’m not sure the project is worth more than a $20 trip to the dollar store to spiff up my $10 Wal*Mart blinds haha

Madison & Blake are in the kitchen right now (today is dedicated to Madison improving her dishes technique) and she’s telling him a story about how “this kid in my class stuck a pencil through his hand on Friday and had had to go to the office, it was so gross”, which is becoming a bigger fish tale the more questions he asks her. :D (The kid came back from the office with a band-aid and it’s more likely he broke the lead off into his finger than what she “remembers”. haha) Blake’s now explaining to her that if what she describes happened, the kid would have had to go to the hospital because he would have gone through tendons and the only reason I’m blogging about this is because it reminded me of this kid named Dave who sat beside me for most of grade 7.

Dave & I shared a love of Guns n’ Roses and art (or what we thought was art…) but Dave was a bit of an asshole. He was also the most popular guy in our grade, because he was a badass and the popular girls, for whatever reason, all had crushes on him even moreso after we all saw him do probably the MOST retarded thing I’ve probably ever seen anyone do in my entire life.

(Actually the more I think about it, the more blurred it becomes, it might have been another kid named Justin, who was pretty much the same kid only blonder & more fucked up than Dave. They were friends and both sat in my group, so it could have been either one of them.)

Anyway, we’re sitting in Mr. Sandam’s class, which for the life of me, I can’t even remember what that class was. History? Computers? I honestly have no fucking idea, but the guy preferred for us to call him Sir Sandam and now that I know what I know, I’m betting he was a closet LARPer.

So we’re sitting there and I hear someone whisper “God that is so gross” and I turn and see Dave digging the pointy end of a goddamn protractor, y’know, one of those circle drawers?, into the side of his middle finger, just below his last knuckle. Blood doesn’t bother me at all, gore doesn’t bother me at all and normally stupid boys doing stupid things doesn’t bother me at all, although I have to admit there were certain parts of Jackass Number Two I had to walk out of the room for, but pain I can’t deal with, especially when it’s right in front of me like that and beyond idiotic, so I just turned around and kept doing whatever it was I was doing.

Near the end of class, there was a bit of a commotion in Dave’s general direction, so I turned around again and there’s Dave crying, holding up his hand with this fucking protractor all the way through his finger, all the way up to the bigger metal part that meets the apex and it was sticking out the other side . The problem, and the reason Dave was crying, was because the protractor’s pointy end had a slight bend in it that he hadn’t noticed before, which was now on the other side of his finger and when he tried to pull it back out, that bend kept getting caught on his knuckle.

During the process of getting the protractor in and subsequently trying to work it back out, his finger had become hard, it was so inflamed, that even if they could turn it to avoid the knuckle, it was gonna hurt like a motherfucker to yank it out and Dave wouldn’t let anyone do it. He just sat there crying and holding up his middle finger while teachers ran around trying to find ice and trying to get his mom on the phone.

To this day there’s part of me who thinks he did it just to flip Sir Sandam the bird and not face the man’s wrath (which was the stuff of legend), but I’ll probably never know for sure.

And with that, I’m off to go be a nerd.